


Obsession

by AllThingsMalec



Series: Obsession [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood has anger issues, Alec Lightwood has no boundaries, Angst, BAMF Alec Lightwood, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Bodyguard Alec Lightwood, Confident Alec Lightwood, Grieving Magnus Bane, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Possessive Alec Lightwood, Single Parent Magnus Bane, Smut, no beta - we die like men, overcoming past issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:54:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 82,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24681136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllThingsMalec/pseuds/AllThingsMalec
Summary: Part of a secretive vigilante group, Alec Lightwood has no problem getting his hands dirty if it means getting justice for those who can’t fight for themselves. Such is the case when single dad Magnus Bane is confronted by a stalker bent on murder.
Relationships: Hodge Starkweather / Lorenzo Rey / Andrew Underhill, Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Past Magnus Bane / George, Simon Lewis & Jace Wayland
Series: Obsession [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1866259
Comments: 364
Kudos: 485





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. 
> 
> 1\. This is my first ever adaptation of a Malec AU - so PLEASE be kind as I only wish to learn from here.  
> 2\. I will definitely be posting at regular intervals.  
> 3\. Broken lines indicate a change in POV between Alec & Magnus.  
> 4\. I have to say a huge THANK YOU to Maria - AtowncalledMalec - for encouraging me to do this, I will forever be grateful.

“And what happened when you entered the house?”

“I snapped the fucker’s neck,” Alec responded simply as he held the police officer’s gaze. The kid was clearly a rookie because he paled and swallowed hard. Alec couldn’t help but think that if him telling the rookie he’d snapped some guy’s neck made him want to puke his guts out, maybe said rookie needed to rethink his career choices.

“Yes, but, um, can you be more specific?”

“I snapped the fucker’s neck and then he stopped moving and fell to the floor,” Alec responded. When the officer just stared at him, he added, “Because. He. Was. Dead.”

“Right,” the officer murmured. He automatically looked over his shoulder to where the coroner was zipping up the body bag that held the dead man in question. Then he began jotting something in his little notebook.

Alec sighed because he could tell by the officers hesitant scribbles that he was going to be here a while. Alec glanced around the room. His younger brother, Jace, was having a conversation with the paramedic who’d been treating the bullet wound on his arm. The mere sight of the bandage on his bicep made Alec want to bring the asshole in the body bag back to life just so he could kill him all over again.

Alec had known something was wrong pretty much as soon as he’d arrived at the house. He and Jace had been tasked with protecting a young man named Simon after he’d been attacked a few days earlier. Alec’s job had been to shadow his brother as he’d gotten close to Simon. After getting to the house, Alec realized something was off and approached it from the back. It had taken next to nothing to pick the lock on the back door. Alec heard the raised voices long before he’d seen anyone. But as soon as he’d lain eyes on the guy with the gun as the guy railed at Simon, Jace and several others, Alec knew what he had to do. The guy never saw him coming but he managed to get a couple of shots off before Alec broke his neck.

  
Even if his brother hadn’t been one of the people shot, the gun-wielding asshole deserved a hell of a lot more of a painful death for putting his gun to the head of a little girl.

“I killed him too quick,” Alec muttered absently as he pulled his eyes from his brother. The bullet had only grazed him, but Alec still found himself fisting his hands. The last time his brother had been shot, he hadn’t been anywhere near as lucky…

“What?” the officer asked, interrupting the rage that was simmering in Alec’s veins.

Interrupting it but not quelling it.

Not much did that these days. Pounding on guys like the one in the body bag definitely helped, but like any drug, the effect was short-lived.

“Did you say something?” the officer asked again.

“Yeah, I said—” he began, but then Alec’s eyes shifted beyond the officer to the kitchen and fell on the owner of the house. With the way he was standing, Alec could only make out his profile, but not surprisingly, Alec’s dick didn’t seem too concerned about that. Of course, said dick wasn’t necessarily selective when it was looking for the next warm body to lose itself in for a while.

No, what was a surprise was the fact that instead of telling the newbie cop how he wished he’d taken his time killing the scumbag in question, Alec actually paused to consider his words.

How often did that happen?

Oh yeah, never.

Alec once again opened his mouth to say what he meant when the guy in the kitchen suddenly looked his way and then it was like time decided to stand still for a while. The rage that was racing through Alec’s veins faded as something else took over his blood entirely and sent all of it south.

_Way down south._

And just like that, Alec’s cock went from interested to something different altogether.

Something that had Alec not only pausing his words but forgetting them entirely.

What the hell?

“Mr. Lightwood…” the cop said, clearly waiting for Alec to finish his earlier thought.

_Him and me both._

“What?” Alec finally asked. For the life in him, Alec couldn’t take his eyes off the man in the kitchen, which made no sense since he wasn’t Alec’s type at all. While his dick didn’t care whose body it ended up in, his mind liked ’em big and tough because getting a big and tough guy to his knees and begging for release was part of the fun. Not to mention, he could be as rough as he wanted with a muscle head.

But the guy in the kitchen was anything but big and tough. He was …average. He was Asian, muscular, yes but with a slender waist. And he was slightly older than the guys Alec usually fucked around with. Probably put him at his late thirties at best. Although Alec couldn’t really tell much about the man’s body from his position, he wasn’t heavily built. His tight jeans and casual button-down accentuated his muscles perfectly. His spiked dark hair was peppered with coloured red streaks and he had a goatee.

_A fucking goatee._

A fucking goatee that was turning Alec on like nobody’s business. He could practically feel it tickling his skin as the guy’s mouth trailed down his body. And when Alec would shove his dick down the guy’s throat, Alec would be able to feel those little hairs on his—

“Did you say something—” the officer with the bad timing asked.

“Do you have any more questions for me, Officer…”—Alec glanced at his name tag— “Officer Hard-on.”

“It’s Harden,” the officer responded. “With an ‘e.’”

“You sure?” Alec asked, letting his voice drop another octave as he pinned the man with his eyes and gave him what Jace referred to as his oh-yeah-please-fuck-with-me look. The man paled even more and then shook his head before nodding it. Alec nearly smiled when the officer reached for the radio on his shoulder… the one that hadn’t been going off.

  
As the officer did an unnecessary status check via his radio, Alec shifted his attention back to the man in the kitchen. Alec managed to tamp down the lust coursing through his veins, but it took every ounce of focus that he had. That lasted all of about fifteen seconds because then all of a sudden, the man turned his head to look at Alec.

And that was all she wrote.

Alec wasn't sure how he ever considered the guy average because he was just … beautiful. His lined eyes were a stunning shade of brown that Alec could say he'd never seen in any of his travels all around the world. Even with the man’s features marred by exhaustion and stress, he still stole Alec’s breath. It was the most bizarre reaction he'd ever had to a man and God knew Alec had been with plenty of men. But he couldn't remember any of their faces. Alec knew that it wouldn't be the same with the guy who was currently watching him like he didn't know what to make of Alec. And Alec would remember that face for the rest of his days.

If he had his way—and he always got his way—Alec would get to see more than his face soon enough. Alec didn't even care that he’d gone from being fascinated with him to wanting to own him in the space of a few seconds. He wasn't into all that analysing one's feelings bullshit. If he wanted something, he took it. If he liked something, he had more of it. If he didn't, he walked away. The challenge was in the hunt.

As Alec held the man's gaze, he knew this particular hunt would be unlike any he'd ever known.

The man, who Alec assumed was the little girl’s father, shook the hand of the female police officer he'd been talking to and then glanced at Alec once again. Alec clearly made him uncomfortable, but that was a good thing. Alec liked when his prey was off-balance. It made the hunt more interesting.

But when the man straightened as if readying himself for battle, Alec felt oddly proud and nervous at the same time.

Except, Alec Lightwood didn't get nervous.

It served no purpose.

So what was it about this guy that made Alec’s hands feel sweaty and caused his heart to pound just a bit harder in his chest? He tried to tell himself it was because he had no interest in the man thanking him for saving his kid’s life, but Alec’s increased breathing said differently. Once he fucked this guy, all that other shit would go away. If Alec was really lucky, it was just the residual adrenaline that was making him feel all wonky.

_Jesus, Alec. Wonky? Who are you?_

Alec cursed under his breath and then got to his feet. He noticed as the man neared him, his eyes darted between Alec and the door. Alec figured the guy was debating whether he could just make his escape without having to talk to him. Alec kind of wanted him to do that because it was easier to hunt prey when it ran rather than stand its ground.

When the guy was within a handful of feet of him, Alec saw that little stiffening thing happen where he seemed to force himself to stand straighter. Surprisingly, Alec wasn't at all disappointed that he hadn't decided to flee.

It wasn't until the man cast a glance at the police officer that Alec remembered they weren't alone. Alec took care of that with one look in Officer Hard-on's direction. The idiot was just standing there tapping his pen on his pad, but when he saw Alec watching him, he cleared his throat and then reached for his radio again. He mumbled something about returning in a moment to finish up with the questions and then he was practically off and running.

Alec found himself holding his breath as he waited for the man across from him to say something, or to reach out and shake his hand. Alec hadn't really noticed him after he'd killed the kid's attacker, so Alec didn't really know what he sounded like. And he already knew that he really wanted to know what he felt like. The goatee, his skin, his what looked to be a fit body wrapped around Alec’s…

"Thank you," the man said as he wrapped one hand around the other as if to keep from reaching out to him. Alec hid his disappointment and tried to silence that little voice in his head that said maybe the man wasn't interested in shaking the hand of an uneducated, heavily tattooed thug. The logical side of Alec’s brain tried to remind him that beyond his paler skin tone and tattoos, the man had no way of knowing anything about Alec’s education or lack thereof.

Alec’s opinion of the man started to go downhill quickly, especially when he didn't show any hint of willingness to shake Alec’s hand. Alec’s desire, however, was on an opposite trajectory. Maybe the fact that the idea of Alec’s touch repulsed him served to feed into Alec’s need to control him, to own him. But that argument was short-lived when he walked away.

Because he didn't just walk away. No, he took a few steps and then he stopped and looked at Alec.

Really looked at him.

If he wasn't as good at reading people as he was, Alec would've missed it. The ticked-up breathing, the slight flush of colour that suffused his cheeks, the parting of his lips… all those things had Alec blatantly looking down at his groin. And once Alec took in that pretty sight, the man didn't have to be a mind reader to get that particular message.  
So, he definitely wasn't disgusted by Alec. And he most definitely wasn't straight. Those were both points in Alec’s favour, and as Alec lifted his eyes to meet his, Alec sent him a silent message that was anything but subtle.

From the way he quickly turned away and left the house, Alec was more than certain of two things. One, that the guy had gotten the message and two, that Alec would be feeling that goatee—and the rest of him—on him soon enough.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Magnus Bane was already regretting his decision to return to the house even though he had only been in the thing for two minutes. Two minutes of just staring at the carnage that had once been his living room.

It was still difficult for him to make sense of the events that had taken place there three nights ago. It had all started off simply enough. He'd been enjoying the process of handing out candy to children in all manner of costumes while his oldest son, Simon - adopted, had taken his daughter, Madzie, trick-or-treating. Simon’s new boyfriend, Jace, had been with him. That night had been Magnus’ first time meeting the young man who'd already begun to steal his son’s heart. Magnus had known that, just by seeing how Simon looked at Jace.

But things had pretty much gone to hell as soon as Simon and Jace had returned with Madzie. Magnus heard the pair arguing outside, but assumed it was a lover’s spat, though he hadn't been sure if Simon and his new guy had even made it to the lover’s stage. Magnus had gone outside prepared to smooth things over, but the moment he’d stepped beyond the door and recognized the man that Simon had been in a heated confrontation with, Magnus had forgotten that he was supposed to be the reasonable dad who solved his sons’ problems.

He sighed as he stared at his living room. Nothing about that night had been reasonable.

He began righting some of the furniture, but when he saw the bloodstain on the carpet, he felt sick to his stomach and was forced to sit down on the couch. That bloodstain represented so many things that it was hard to process them all. For starters, it could have easily been Simon's or Madzie’s blood. The only reason it hadn't been was because the bullet that had been meant for one of them had been taken by the very man who'd ruined Magnus’ life years earlier.

With one selfish act ten years ago, Hodge Starkweather had changed the course of Magnus’ entire existence. Magnus had spent his entire adult life hating the man for what he’d taken from Magnus. Three nights ago, he'd given something even more precious back, but it was hard to make sense of that. On some level, maybe Magnus had already forgiven him, but deep down, he knew it wasn't that simple.

  
He'd lost too much.

Thoughts of the past made his chest constrict painfully and he automatically began rubbing his finger across the ring on his left hand.

George's ring.

The one George hadn't been able to give Magnus himself because Hodge Starkweather and the men in blue who'd sworn to have George's back had abandoned him when he’d needed them the most. And they'd done it simply because of who he’d loved.

_Me._

Magnus turned his attention away from the blood and focused on putting the rest of the living room back in order. Work had always helped him get through the difficult times and while he hadn't needed to do that in a while, not since the arrival of his daughter, Madzie, he was glad for that particular trait at the moment.  
Once he was done with the living room, Magnus went to Madzie’s room to inspect the damage. He hadn't really paid much attention to what, if any, destruction his attacker had caused in Madzie’s room when he'd entered the house that way, so Magnus really didn't know what to expect. His biggest goal, in addition to getting Madzie's space back to normal, was to try and erase the image of the man holding a gun to his daughter’s head. Realistically, Magnus knew that would likely never happen. He saw that picture every night when he tried to close his eyes and every time he looked at Madzie now, even if she was happy and smiling and communicating in her own unique way, Magnus still only saw the fear in her eyes as she’d looked to him to protect her.

_I hadn't been able to._

But thankfully, there had been someone who had.

Predictably, when Magnus thought about the man who'd saved his daughter's life, his body thought about him too, and not in a good way.

Okay, maybe in a good way but not exactly in a way he wanted it to.

He only knew a few things about the man.

First, that he was called Alec, which Magnus was sure would be short for Alexander and Magnus only had that tid-bit of information because he also happened to be the brother of Simon’s boyfriend. Second, the man, Alec, was one tall and scary-ass guy, stunning. He'd snapped the neck of the man threatening Madzie's life like his body had been made of twigs rather than flesh and bone. And third, with his tattoos, emotionless voice, and piercing hazel eyes, Alec was someone Magnus’ mind was dreading seeing again even as his body was eagerly anticipating that moment. His stunning looks made it difficult not to.

Since he was Jace’s brother, it was likely that Magnus wouldn't be able to avoid the man in the future, especially if his instincts were right in that Simon had found his soulmate. So that meant he'd have to figure out some way to deal with the guy, which meant getting his body and his mind in sync the next time he saw Alec. Since he loved Simon more than life itself, Magnus couldn't wish away his chance at happiness with Jace, even if that would make things a little bit easier for him.

Magnus sighed because he was being beyond ridiculous. Not only was he considerably older than Alec, he doubted the man was even gay. Yes, he’d looked at Magnus in a way that had made his entire body shiver with excitement, but Magnus considered himself to have pretty good gaydar. And nothing about Alec had made it ping. Of course, with the guy as cold and detached as he was, Magnus doubted he’d ping on anyone’s radar, gay or straight.

Though he'd always thought he was someone who could read people, Alec had left Magnus fumbling like some insecure teenager. He hadn’t even had enough courage to shake the man’s hand to thank him for what he’d done. And if his behaviour hadn’t been bad enough, He’d actually started to physically react to the man while standing right in front of him. Magnus still couldn’t believe he’d actually popped a boner in his own living room a mere hour after one of the most terrifying moments of his life. He had to write it off as adrenaline related.

As he made his way to Madzie's room, he gave the spot between the living room and the hallway a wide berth because that was where his attacker, Sebastian Verlac, had put his gun to Madzie’s head. Part of Magnus wondered if maybe he just needed to consider selling the house because spots like that would likely haunt him for the rest of his life. But he’d only adopted Madzie six months earlier, so the last thing the six-year-old needed was any kind of instability in her life and moving definitely counted as instability. Madzie was already displaying signs of childhood trauma. Even though she could speak, she wouldn’t. Madzie’s mom was a druggie who overdosed and died in the same room as Madzie when the child was only three years old. It had just been the two of them living together and Madzie and her mom had only been found a day later. Magnus and Simon fell in love with the little girl the moment they saw her.

Magnus felt a little bit better once he reached her room because the damage wasn't bad; nothing more than a broken window. He went to the kitchen to grab a broom and dustpan. Since Madzie was still next door it made cleaning up the glass easier, where he didn’t have to worry about her stepping anywhere near any of the glass. He'd have to board up the window until he could arrange to have it repaired, but otherwise Madzie’s room was ready for her return. He just wasn't sure if she was. He'd tried a few times over the past several days to talk to Madzie as they’d both stayed with their neighbour, who also happened to babysit Madzie on a regular basis, but Madzie always seemed so distant when he approached the subject of what happened with Sebastian, instead of her usual nods and shakes of her head to indicate she understood what was being talked about, Madzie would remain motionless, as if she couldn’t even hear.

Magnus had already reached out to a child psychologist because he had no doubt Madzie would start showing signs of the further trauma she’d endured. His efforts for her to “forget” what had happened three nights ago wouldn’t work and Magnus needed to be prepared for that.

  
Once he got the glass cleaned up, Magnus made his way to the back door just off the kitchen. He wasn’t a particularly handy guy but figured he could manage to pound some nails through a piece of wood to board up the window until he could hire someone to come out and replace it. For once, the New York weather had cooperated and laid off the rain for the last few days, but he wasn’t going to push his luck since angry storm clouds had been rolling across the sky all day.

It took him several minutes to find a piece of wood in his little garden shed that he thought would work. He left the shed with the intent of seeking out a hammer and some nails in the garage, but the second he turned around, he let out a hoarse shout and dropped the piece of wood. And on his own damn foot, no less.

“It’s just me,” the shadow standing near the fence line said.

Since he recognized the voice, Magnus didn’t hesitate to growl, “Jesus fucking Christ,” as he slumped back against the shed door and tried to catch his breath. He didn’t normally swear, but he figured the hulking figure lurking in the darkness not ten feet from him was reason enough to let the F-bomb fly. Not to mention his foot hurt like a son of a bitch.

“Alexander?” He asked when his terrorized heart finally began beating again in his chest. The man hadn’t said a word during Magnus’ tirade.

He still didn’t. Instead, he stepped into the light cast across the backyard from the motion-detecting floodlight. The man was as dangerous and intimidating as he had been just three days earlier and Magnus couldn’t help but wonder if he stood in front of a mirror and practiced getting the look just right.

“What are you doing here?” Magnus asked. He tried not to react to the fact that Alec was walking straight toward him.

He should have stopped a few feet away.

Or, at the least, a foot away.

Hell, even half a foot would have been reasonable. Pushy, but still reasonable.

But no, the man just kept coming until he was so close that Magnus could feel the heat radiating off his body and he could smell the delicious scent of whatever aftershave or cologne he used. The guy clearly had no concept of boundaries, but with Magnus’ back against the shed door and Alec’s big body in front of him, Magnus had no way of subtly escaping his too-close-for-comfort proximity.

Magnus knew he should probably ask him what the hell he was doing in his backyard, but he was too busy listening to his mind and body going at each other. His brain was telling him to flee while his body was fine with right where it was. In the end, he didn’t have to make either decision because Alec made it for him when he leaned in so his mouth was practically brushing Magnus’.

Almost.

But not quite.

With that one move, he pretty much answered the question of whether he was gay or not. Magnus would have rejoiced over that fact if the man hadn’t chosen that moment to open his mouth and ask the one question he was least expecting.

“When will your husband be back?”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Alec should have just kept his mouth shut because it didn’t really matter where the guy’s husband was. He didn’t care if Magnus was married.

Well, okay, he cared, but only because he didn’t usually fuck around with men who were taken. It made things way too complicated and the last thing he wanted was some guy whining to him about how he’d left his husband or boyfriend because of Alec.

  
But if the only way he could have Magnus Bane was to deal with the baggage he came with, like an absent spouse who didn’t even have the common sense to get his ass back home to protect what was his, then so be it. It was that guy’s loss.

And Alec’s gain.

Alec had foolishly thought that his need for Magnus would diminish once he left that house and the adrenaline from the night’s events had worn off, but if anything, being back in his small apartment had only served to make him more restless than usual. He’d spent several hours just walking the streets of New York, but it hadn’t done any good. By the time the sun had started to cast its rays over the horizon, Alec had already been sitting in his car watching the neighbour’s house where Magnus and his kid had gone to stay after the incident.

And Alec pretty much stayed there for the past three days.

Ok, well, maybe he hadn’t stayed there the entire time. He’d spent part of it lurking in first the neighbour’s backyard and then Magnus’ in the hopes of getting a glimpse of the man.

_I had._

Many.

Too many.

And each one had intensified Alec’s need to have him. Alec didn’t understand it, nor did he care to. All he needed to do was make Magnus his for however long it took to work Magnus out of his blood for good.

And hearing Magnus call him by his full name, did all sorts of inexplicable things to Alec.

“What did you just say?” Magnus asked. Just like that, something switched within him and his nerves were replaced with confusion, then what sounded a lot like anger.

Alec reached down and gripped his hand, but only so he could run his thumb over the man’s ring. Alec still didn’t know how he’d managed to miss the thing the night of the attack. “Can’t be too good of a marriage,” Alec observed.

He wasn’t really surprised when Magnus pulled his fingers from Alec’s. A strange ache pierced Alec’s chest, but he ignored it. “Most happily married people display their joy on the walls of their home. They don’t hide a single old photograph in their nightstand—”

Alec was caught completely off guard when Magnus’ palm cracked against Alec’s cheek. It stung like a son of a bitch, but that was the extent of it. Alec was more taken aback by the fury in the man’s eyes as he got in Alec’s face and spat, “You don’t get to talk about him… ever! Do you hear me? Ever!”

He tried to shove Alec away from him so he could move past, but Alec grabbed him and pressed him back against the door, then caged him in with his huge arms. Alec was so fucking turned on, his dick felt like it was going to blow right there in his pants. But Alec was also pissed.

And that didn’t make for a good combination.

Alec pressed his body against Magnus’ so he’d know Alec wasn’t fucking around. “Do you know what I did to the last guy who hit me?” Alec asked coldly.

Magnus was panting heavily, though Alec wasn’t sure if it was because he was mad… or something else. It took Magnus several long seconds to answer, even though Alec hadn’t really been expecting one.

“Because of what you did for my daughter and because you’re Jace’s brother, I’m not going to call the cops and have you arrested for breaking into my house. But make no mistake, Alexander, this,”—he looked Alec up and down as best he could considering their positions— “doesn’t work with me and it will not happen again.”

His words should have dampened Alec’s ardour. But with the way his name sounded on the man’s lips….again.

They didn’t.

“And what exactly is this?” Alec asked as he too looked him up and down, though Alec took his time doing it. Alec could feel a fine tremor moving throughout the man’s body, proof that he wasn’t as unaffected as he wanted Alec to believe.

To his credit, he didn’t try to physically escape Alec. Instead, he stood his ground as he said, “Let me pass.”

“What’s his name?” Alec asked. “The husband who doesn’t give enough of a shit to come racing home when his husband and kids—”

“He’s dead, you son of a bitch,” Magnus whispered.

Tears filled Magnus’ eyes, but he remained completely still and didn’t make a sound, not even when the first tear fell. There were no more commands for Alec to release him and he didn’t call Alec any more names.

  
Something beneath Alec’s skin began to itch and the longer he stood there, the worse it got. By the time he pushed away from Magnus, Alec skin felt like it was on fire and he did the only thing he knew how to do.

He let his fist fly.

The unfortunate victim of his rage was the small window on the shed. As the glass shattered, Alec felt only a slight measure of relief, so he slammed his fist against the side of the small building. He was glad to find it didn’t give, but when he went to strike out again, Magnus was stepping in front of him. Alec managed to stop his forward movement just as Magnus grabbed his wrist.

“Stop!” Magnus barked. His wet eyes almost set Alec off all over again, but when Magnus softly repeated, “Stop,” Alec didn’t move. Shame instantly fell over Alec like a heavy shroud. It was a feeling he hated above all others.

He tried to pull his hand free of Magnus’ hold so he could get the hell out of there, but to his surprise, Magnus held on to him. “Stop it, Alexander. Let me see.”

And there was that use of his full name…yet again.

Shock resonated through Alec when instead of inspecting the damage he’d done to the window, Magnus pulled Alec’s hand forward and up so he could get a better look at it. There was a little bit of blood on Alec’s knuckles, but the wounds were worthless as far as Alec was concerned.

Why the fuck was he looking at my hand when he should be kicking my ass to the curb?

Okay, yeah, he’d already tried to do that, but Alec was actually ready to leave.

Only, this time, Magnus was the one who was refusing to let go.

“You’re bleeding,” he muttered. “Come with me,” he added, then he wrapped his fingers around Alec’ wrist and led him toward the house. For the life of him, Alec couldn’t remember a single person ever taking his hand or any part of it and leading him anywhere, not even his mother. He’d held Jace’s hand when he’d been little, but Alec had always done the leading, the comforting. In the Army, he’d naturally led even before he’d become an officer.

He never followed.

_Never._

Because following meant trusting someone else not to fuck up and get you lost or killed. Alec commanded his body to stop its forward movement and yank free of Magnus’ hold, but his feet continued to put one in front of the other and his arm refused his bidding to pull away. Alec wanted to tell himself it was because he’d made Magnus cry, but that was a whole other can of worms he didn’t want to open at the moment.

So that was where things stood. With Alec following tamely behind a guy he’d come here with the sole purpose of fucking, all while feeling like a piece of shit for having made him cry.

What the fuck had he gotten himself into?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Magnus had already figured the guy wasn’t a talker. But how had that translated into Magnus himself turning into the chatterbox from hell? And what had possessed Magnus to invite the man who’d so skilfully reduced him to tears with a cheap swipe at George’s memory inside his own house and worse, into the inner sanctum that was his bathroom? As soon as they’d stepped into the room, Magnus immediately sensed the jerk’s judgement as he took in the candles Magnus had all around the huge soaking tub. Instead of calling him on it, though, Magnus spent the last several minutes explaining every single thing he was doing as Magnus cleaned his hand and examined it for glass.

And all the while, Alec had sat on the edge of Magnus’ pretty tub silent as a church mouse yet still watching Magnus like he was either waiting for the opportunity to attack or he was expecting Magnus to do the attacking. In the bright light of the bathroom, Magnus could still see the red imprint of his hand on Alec’s pale cheek, so he couldn’t exactly blame him for being on the defensive. Magnus reminded himself that this man had saved Madzie’s life as he examined the cuts on his knuckles for any glass or debris.

“I don’t see anything in the cuts, but you might want to have a doctor take a look—”

“No,” was all Alec said in response, then he tugged at his hand. To Magnus’ surprise, he found himself unwilling to release it.

What the hell was he doing? If the man wanted to go, he should let him go. Magnus wanted him to go.

So then, why were the next words out of his mouth, “At least let me bandage it up for you?”

Magnus took his lack of movement as a yes. He returned to his vanity and opened the drawer where he kept the bandages. The silence was unnerving, so the chatterbox in Magnus reared its ugly head again.

“Sorry, all I have is this,” Magnus said as he held up the elastic bandage. “Madzie’s going through a hot-pink phase at the moment.” Magnus winced when he realized he only had one kind of Band-Aid in his drawer. “And a glitter phase,” he murmured as he grabbed the box of shimmery Band-Aids. Alec barely acknowledged the glittery hot-pink bandages or the equally blinding elastic wrap.

Which only served to make Magnus more nervous.

“At least the gauze is white,” Magnus said as he deposited all the items on a little side table that he normally kept his glass of wine and book on when he was taking a bath. Since it felt awkward to be towering over Alec as he sat and Magnus stood, he stepped into the shower to grab the teak stool he kept in there. It was only when he set it down in front of Alec and settled onto it that the verbal diarrhoea started all over again.

“I keep this in the shower because I have a bad knee,” he explained as he motioned to the stool. “Not because of my age or anything,” sputtered Magnus. “I fell. On my knee. When I was getting off the bus… years ago.”

_Shut up, Magnus._

“I mean, yeah, sometimes my joints start to hurt a bit after a long day and it’s nice to sit down in the shower…”

_Shut up right now._

“But it’s not like I need a walker to get around yet. I have to say, though, that old adage about the weather affecting your joints as you get older seems to be true because lately I—”

He finally managed to stop talking when his eyes met Alec’s and his breath hitched. As gorgeous as Alec’s hazel-green eyes were, it was the way he was looking at Magnus that had him unable to breathe. He was watching Magnus like… like…

Magnus had no comparison because no one had ever looked at him that way. Not even George.

The shame of betraying the memory of the man who’d been his entire life from the moment he’d met him was like a physical blow and Magnus found himself actually recoiling from it… from Alec. But in his effort to escape the far too dangerous man in front of him, he tripped over the stool and promptly hit the floor hard. Alec’s fingers closed around Magnus’ upper arm, presumably to try and stop his plunging course, but all the move managed to do was have him bent over Magnus when Magnus crashed to the ground.

Magnus welcomed the pain as the hard surface and his body made contact. But the sting didn’t last long enough to drown out any of the guilt that was winding throughout his entire body like the most invasive of vines. When Alec tried to help him sit up, Magnus shook his head and jerked away from him. Magnus practically crawled across the floor to escape his damning touch. Thankfully, he didn’t follow Magnus.

“Magnus—”

“Don’t!” Magnus croaked. “Please, just go.” His voice cracked as he whispered “Please” again.

Magnus didn’t dare look at him because he knew he’d cry if he did. Or worse, he’d do something like beg him just to hold him for a little while. To let him pretend he was George.

Strong, kind, bigger-than-life-itself George. The man who’d loved him when no one else had. The man who’d wanted to call him his husband and who’d given Magnus the child that, even though was adopted, had been born of both their hearts. The only man Magnus had ever given not only his body to, but his heart as well.

What kind of man did it make Magnus that he was even wondering anything about another man when he’d already had the perfect one in his life?

"Please, just go," he whispered. He was too much of a coward to look up at him, so the only proof Magnus had that he was actually listening to his request was when he heard his footsteps moving away from him. Magnus heard a door slam shut and, judging from the distance, Magnus figured it was either the back door or the front one. He didn't really care which. All he cared about was that the mysterious, dangerous and stern looking man who'd made him feel things he shouldn't have, was gone.

It took Magnus several long minutes to pull himself together enough to climb to his feet. He turned around and faced the sink so he could wash his face. He tried not to look in the mirror, but it was inevitable. His liner was smudged and his eyes were red and puffy. His throat felt tight and his chest hurt. It was almost like he’d just learned of George's death. That mantra of crap that people said about a loved one dying like “it will get better” or “time heals all” was complete bullshit. Magnus missed George every day of his life and he missed him as much today as he had every day since the moment the chief of police and a pastor had shown up on his doorstep. The grief might not have been as crippling today as it had been back then, but it was still there.

He turned the water on and waited until it was at its coldest before plunging his hands beneath it and scooping up some of the icy liquid. He washed his face and then shut the water off before reaching for a hand towel. His fingers had just closed around the soft material when he heard it.

A pounding sound.

_Was someone knocking at my door? Had Alec returned?_

He hated the little flutter of excitement in his belly as he considered that last question. He forced himself to ignore the sound, but when it didn't stop, his anger grew and the need to lash out got stronger. Magnus let out a muffled curse and then stomped out of the bathroom, intent on laying into the man who'd had no right to mess up his nice quiet life. Okay, granted, it had already been pretty messed up considering his former personal assistant had tried to kill his family, but it wasn't like he could take his rage out on him since Alec had taken care of that for him.

He was headed toward the front door when the pounding began again and he realized it wasn't coming from outside the house at all.

"What the hell?" he muttered. Magnus turned in the direction of the sound and realized it was coming from Madzie’s bedroom. When he reached the room that was covered in dinosaur wall decals, he stared in disbelief at the sight that greeted him. His back to Magnus, Alec was boarding up the broken window, using the very board Magnus had retrieved from the shed. The fact that not only had the man not left like he’d told him to, but that he'd taken it upon himself to fix his daughter’s window should've pissed Magnus off.

And it kind of did.

But when he saw Alec notice some blood on the wood and then try to use first his arm and then the hem of his shirt to wipe it off, all Magnus felt was angry at himself. The guy might have been a dick, but Magnus wasn't. He'd always believed in setting an example for his children, but he was more than a little glad they hadn't seen him like this. Magnus wasn't someone who got angry and lashed out at others, either physically or verbally. And he most certainly wasn't someone who turned away an individual in need.

Magnus spun around and went back to his bathroom to gather the medical supplies. By the time he returned to Madzie's room, Alec was finishing up with nailing the piece of wood over the broken window. Magnus couldn't help but watch as his strong fingers gripped the hammer and he effortlessly knocked the nails into the moulding. Magnus had always been turned off by overly strong men, probably because they’d reminded him too much of his domineering father. George had been the exception to the rule. He'd been the exception to a lot of rules, actually.

Magnus didn't want Alec to be one of those exceptions. He remembered the way Alec pinned him against the side of the shed right before taking his anger out on the window. Magnus tried to tell himself that it was just further proof of how dangerous Alec was, but the reality was that he hadn't actually hurt Magnus. Even after Magnus hit him, he hadn't struck back. Magnus sighed because it was all just too confusing. He needed to focus on the task at hand and then get the man out of his house.

He stepped into the room and put the supplies on the bed. Alec still had his back to him, so he was surprised when Alec said, "Make sure to have a contractor out to check this window frame. It's starting to warp and let air in. Your kid will get cold."

Before Magnus could even respond, Alec turned around and began walking out of the room. Despite his promise to himself not to touch him, Magnus instinctively reached out to grab Alec’s arm as he moved by him. Electricity and heat fired up through Magnus’ fingers and skittered along every nerve ending until it felt like his entire body was tingling. The fact that there was a distinctive tightening in his jeans threatened to bring back that sour taste of betrayal.

"Let me bandage up your hand," Magnus said as he quickly dropped his own. Unfortunately, the sensation didn't stop even though he no longer had any kind of physical contact with the man. He didn't move for a long time and he didn't say anything either. Strangely enough, Magnus found himself holding his breath as he waited for Alec to respond. Magnus wasn't really sure if he wanted him to stay or go.

Alec seemed very stiff and tense as he stood there, his eyes straight ahead. His bearing made Magnus wonder if he'd been a soldier at some point. For some reason, Magnus couldn't see him saluting a superior. He just seemed too big for that. Like others should be saluting him.

If Magnus hadn't been standing right next to him, he would've shaken his head at the ridiculous thought. Instead, Magnus forced himself to move to the bed, then picked up the package of gauze pads. Magnus tried to keep his eyes on the little box and not Alec as he waited to see what would happen next. When the man finally did move, Magnus let out the breath he was holding and tried to ignore the strange giddiness that went through him as the larger man moved in his direction. Once again, Alec seemed to not recognize the concept of boundaries because when he reached Magnus, he was only inches from him. He smelled so good that Magnus found himself purposely pulling in deeper and deeper breaths.

"You didn't have to do that," Magnus said as he jerked his chin in the direction of the window. Somehow, he managed to keep his eyes down like the box of gauze was the most interesting thing in the world at that moment.

"I'll take care of the one in the shed too. If you order the glass, I can replace both windows."

His voice was husky and gruff and only served to send involuntary shivers through Magnus’ entire body. Magnus wondered what he would sound like as his body moved over Magnus’. Would he even say anything at all? Since Alec wasn't a particularly talkative man, Magnus found it hard to believe that Alec would be any different in bed. Magnus let out a sigh as he realized the direction of his thoughts. So much for not thinking inappropriate things about the man. Magnus sent a silent apology to George and then said, "Can you sit down?" He motioned to Madzie’s bed, but still didn’t look at Alec.

Once again, there was a long pause as Alec seemed to debate whether or not to follow through on Magnus’ request, but then he was moving between Magnus and the bed. It was all Magnus could do not to step back from him when Alec’s chest briefly brushed his. Magnus had to believe he was engaging in the physical contact on purpose.

He just didn't know why.

Magnus was a father of two and in his early forties. George had always told Magnus he was beautiful. He exercised enough to keep healthy and fit but didn’t think it enough to warrant the attention he got from someone as gorgeous as Alec. More often than not, people got weird about the fact that Magnus wore make-up.

Magnus forced himself to focus on the task at hand rather than the ridiculous thoughts going through his head. It made no difference what Alec was like in bed. Even if Alec did want him for some reason, the feeling wasn’t mutual.

_Yeah, right._

Magnus told his inner voice to shut up and busied myself with opening one of the gauze squares as Alec settled onto the bed. Once again, Magnus found himself standing over Alec and while that should've given Magnus some sense of power, he still felt as off-balance as ever.

As Magnus began working on Alec's hand, he remained silent.

That was something Magnus should’ve been happy about, but all it did was make him uncomfortable. Early on in his relationship with George, he'd poked fun at Magnus’ inability to deal with awkward silences. Once he’d found out the truth about why they were so difficult for Magnus, he'd never again made fun of Magnus’ verbal vomit. He doubted Alec would be as understanding.

Magnus silently cursed again because he was still doing it… the comparing George and Alec thing.  
"You don't have to fix the windows," Magnus said, because he was that desperate to stop thinking altogether. "But I appreciate you boarding this one up. I'm not exactly handy when it comes to tools."

Not surprisingly, Alec said nothing. Magnus could feel Alec watching him, but this time Magnus was smart enough not to make eye contact. "I owe you an apology," Magnus finally said after what felt like an infinite minute. "I shouldn't have kicked you out like—"

"How long has he been gone?" Alec asked. Magnus was in the process of opening the packaging on the hot-pink adhesive bandage when he asked the question. Alec might as well have stabbed him in the heart.

Magnus tried to focus on what he was doing and just ignored his question, but it was like his voice was separate from his brain because all of a sudden he was saying, "Too long." Magnus let out what sounded like a rusty laugh. "It's been ten years and it still feels like I just found out, you know?"

"No, I don't," he said.

His comment had Magnus looking at him in surprise. Mostly because Magnus hadn't been expecting him to say anything at all. From the way Alec was watching him, Magnus could tell he hadn't said the words in any kind of malicious way. Magnus wanted to believe that he saw a sliver of sympathy in his eyes, but he couldn't be sure. The man was next to impossible to read. Since they were treading in dangerous waters, Magnus said, "What are you doing here, Alexander?" Magnus held his gaze as he added, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't be calling the cops right now to tell them you broke into my house."

Magnus was proud of himself for the firmness in his voice as he asked the question, but instead of answering him, Alec reached for the bandage in his hand. Magnus let him take it, assuming he just wanted to wrap his hand himself. But instead of doing that, he dropped the bandage on the bed. The piece of gauze Magnus had applied had a little bit of adhesive on the pad, so it stayed put on its own.

"He loved you?" Alec asked.

It was the very last question Magnus was expecting. The fact that they were once again back on the subject of George should've angered Magnus, but he was too focused on Alec’s question. One of the hardest things about losing George was that he hadn't had anyone to talk to about him once he'd passed. George hadn't had any family, and Magnus hadn't had any kind of relationship with his own. And the men George once called friends had been the same men who betrayed him and put him, however indirectly, into his coffin. So to have this man in front of Magnus, this virtual stranger, ask him about George stung like a son of a bitch, but there was this odd sense of relief too. In so many ways it felt like Magnus was forgetting everything about George, but the one simple question from Alec had instantly caused a host of memories to go through him.

Things like where they'd been when George had told Magnus he loved him for the first time, Magnus’ excitement when George asked him to move in with him, his fears and joys when George told him he wanted them to have children.

"In the best way," Magnus admitted, because saying yes to that simple question didn't do the answer justice.

Alec nodded. "It feels wrong, then?" he asked as he slowly stood up. Magnus didn't get a chance to ask him what he meant, because he continued on his own. Though, as soon as Magnus heard the rest of what Alec had to say, Magnus wished he hadn't.

"Wanting me.”


	2. Chapter: 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Let me go," Magnus demanded, though he still made no effort to step away. While Alec’s hold on his hair was firm, one twist and Magnus could have easily gotten away from him.
> 
> Alec dropped his mouth to the shell of Magnus’ ear and nuzzled the soft skin just behind it. "Is that really what you want?" Alec whispered to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone
> 
> 1\. Thank you guys so, so much for the amazing feedback on this - it was both unbelievable and unexpected and to show my appreciation AND because of a 2-day public holiday this week, I am able to post this 2nd chapter a day earlier than I initially planned to.
> 
> 2\. Please be warned however, there is a slight Dub-Con feel for a few seconds in the beginning.

Jace had always told Alec that he lacked the filter that most people had when it came to the things they said. In Alec’s mind, it just made it easier for those people to lie. And Alec had absolutely no interest in lying to Magnus.

In addition to the no-filter thing, many of the guys he’d fucked had told him afterwards that he was a callous son of a bitch who got off on using people. He’d never bothered to clarify that he didn't get off on using people, he used people to get off. Though, he supposed, maybe it really was the same thing. That was why he always made sure the guys he was with knew the score… the no-filter thing came in handy in those cases.

He’d figured it would help cut through any unnecessary bullshit with Magnus too. Alec got that Magnus was hung up on his husband, but the man had been dead a long time and Magnus was very much alive. It was as simple as that.

Those were the words Alec told himself, anyway, as he watched Magnus’ expression fall for a moment before hardening into what Alec could only classify as pure fury. It was exactly what Alec needed to happen. What he'd been waiting for.

The second Magnus opened his mouth to lay into him, Alec reached out to snag the back of his head and dragged him forward at the same time that Alec crashed his mouth down onto Magnus’. Magnus was so surprised that he didn't move for several seconds. He didn't kiss Alec back either.

When he did react, not surprisingly, he shoved at Alec’s chest hard and yanked his mouth away. Alec had his fingers threaded in Magnus’ hair while his arm was around Magnus’ waist, so he wasn't able to escape Alec completely. His breath came out in heavy pants as he dropped his left hand to the forearm Alec had at his waist and dug his fingers into Alec’s skin. The mere fact that Magnus wasn't trying to push Alec’s arm away from his body had Alec leaving his arm exactly where it was.

"Let me go," Magnus demanded, though he still made no effort to step away. While Alec’s hold on his hair was firm, one twist and Magnus could have easily gotten away from him.

Alec dropped his mouth to the shell of Magnus’ ear and nuzzled the soft skin just behind it. "Is that really what you want?" Alec whispered to him. He had no interest at all in forcing Magnus to engage in any kind of behaviour that he didn't want, but the way he was holding on to Alec’s arm as tremors racked his body told him that Magnus’ verbal command and his body weren't in complete agreement on what he wanted.

Magnus didn't answer him. He didn't tell Alec to let him go, nor did he tell him not to. He merely stood there, still as a statue, except for his fingers. They continued to dig into Alec’s arm. When Alec went to pull it back just a little to see what Magnus would do, he actually hung on to it. That had Magnus letting out a little whimper and then he was looking down at his own hand, as if surprised by its action.

Alec should've been relishing the victory, but something was niggling at his brain.

He had Magnus right where he needed him to be. All he had to do was take his mouth once more and Magnus would be his. He’d finally be able to get Magnus out of his system.

And yet, Alec still couldn't make himself seek out Magnus’ mouth again.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

Alec wanted him and he wanted Alec. It didn't get any simpler than that.

_So why the fuck am I hesitating?_

Alec let out a muffled curse that was directed at himself more than anything else. He released the hold he had on Magnus’ hair and then dropped his arm from Magnus’ waist, forcing Magnus to let go of him. He still had his mouth near Magnus’ ear. Alec told himself to just whisper an apology to him and get the hell out of there, but Magnus chose that moment to turn his head. Then, suddenly, Magnus’ mouth was on his. Alec was so surprised, he didn't kiss Magnus back right away.

"Alexander," he whispered. "Please…"

It was the permission Alec’s mind and body needed to silence that little niggle. He opened his mouth over Magnus’ and wrapped both arms around him then drew him forward so their bodies were perfectly aligned. Magnus moaned and opened for him when Alec’s tongue licked over the seam of his lips. Any doubts Alec might have had that Magnus wasn't an active participant were wiped out when Magnus’ tongue met his and he eagerly kissed Alec back. Magnus’ hands were pressed to Alec’s chest, but they didn't stay there long. As the kiss intensified, his fingers skimmed over Alec’s pecs and then he was sliding his arms beneath Alec’s so he could dig his fingers into Alec’s back.

Then things went into overdrive.

Magnus’ long fingers carded through Alec’s hair as he held Alec in place and took over the kiss. Alec was happy to cede control to him because it wasn't just Magnus’ mouth that was consuming him. Magnus’ entire body was engaged with his. His hands were skimming up and down Alec’s back as he ground his hips against Alec’s. The tell-tale sign of his erection only heightened Alec’s desire, but somehow, he managed to let Magnus continue to take the lead.

But that only lasted long enough for Magnus to say his name again in that breathy way of his… the way that went directly to Alec’s dick. Alec let out what he could only classify as a growl as he grabbed the back of Magnus’ neck and held him still while Alec took over the kiss. Alec walked him backwards several steps until his back hit the wall next to his kid’s bed. The added leverage drove Alec’s need up to a whole new level. He drank from Magnus’ mouth like his very life depended on it. He couldn't remember even a single time that he'd been this possessed by a mere kiss. Alec had been having sex since his late teens and kissing had always been at the bottom of his list of things to do when it came to foreplay. But with Magnus, kissing might as well have been the main act. Alec was so hard that he suspected he could easily come just from fucking Magnus’ mouth with his tongue the way he wanted to fuck his body with his cock. And based on Magnus’ reaction, he was equally as caught up in the way their mouths moved against one another.

Fortunately, Magnus was so on board with what was happening that Alec didn't need to limit himself to just taking his mouth. Alec slipped a hand between the wall and Magnus’ ass and pulled his hips forward so his groin was pressed against Alec’s. He used his hand to control both the pressure and the pace as he began grinding against Magnus. It didn't take long for Magnus to take over and make Alec’s hand on his ass unnecessary. The heat surging through Alec’s body made it feel like he was going to go up in flames. It was too much too fast, but he still managed to maintain control of himself.

He couldn't say the same for Magnus.

He was hanging on to Alec for dear life as he desperately pumped his dick against Alec. Even through two layers of fabric, Alec could tell that Magnus was as hard as he was, if not harder. Based on the little cries that were falling from Magnus’ lips even as he tried to continue to kiss Alec back, Alec suspected that Magnus was in even worse shape than he was when it came to needing to find a release. Alec was proven right when Magnus ripped his mouth from Alec’s and looked down between their bodies. Then his crazed eyes looked at Alec’s and he cried out, "Alexander?"

Magnus sounded so confused and scared that Alec actually considered stopping the whole thing. But Alec knew that wasn't what Magnus really needed. He'd never had a guy get so lost in the need to come as Magnus was right then. With any other guy, Alec might've enjoyed teasing him and drawing things out, but listening to Magnus’ little half sobs as he desperately tried to get himself off using Alec’s body wasn't something he was even remotely interested in doing. Alec had to give Magnus what he needed like he needed to take his next breath.

"I've got you," Alec whispered as he reached between their bodies and worked Magnus' pants open. Alec could feel the sweat coursing down his forehead and spine as his own desire ticked up to a whole new level. Whatever was about to happen, Alec knew it would be fast and hard… and goddamn perfect.

The second his fingers closed around Magnus’ hot flesh, Magnus cried out and threw his head back so it hit the wall behind him. As Alec began sliding his hand up and down Magnus’ shaft, he slipped his free one between Magnus’ head and the wall to keep Magnus from causing himself any kind of injury. Because Magnus was that lost in the throes of passion. An intoxicating mix of grunts, whimpers and cries erupted from Magnus’ mouth as Alec jerked him off. His fingers bit into Alec’s biceps as he clung to him. He thrust his hips to try to match the rhythm of Alec’s hand, but Alec had no interest in Magnus trying to participate in the process.

Magnus was his and he was going to take care of him his way. Alec was going to give him what he needed.

With that thought in mind, Alec used his hips to hold him against the wall. He could feel his own hand rubbing against his cock through his pants, but Alec knew there was no time for him to take himself out so he could rub one out along with him. Magnus was just too far gone.

Alec kept his hand as a pillow for Magnus’ head but braced the forearm of that hand against the wall so Alec could freely thrust his hips against Magnus’. As close as Alec was, he knew he wouldn't be able to catch up to him. Copious amounts of pre-cum were seeping from the head of Magnus’ dick, acting as lubricant for Alec’s hand. Magnus’ cock was an angry red colour that was just further proof of how badly he needed to find his release. But something seemed to be holding him back and Alec had an idea of what it was.

Alec increased the pace of his stroking as he leaned in and pressed his lips to the corner of Magnus’ mouth. "Come for me," Alec demanded.

That was exactly what it was. A demand. Not a request, not a suggestion. It was a flat-out order and it was exactly what Magnus needed.

Magnus cried out in relief as his body exploded. If Alec hadn't been holding him against the wall, Alec wasn't sure Magnus would've been able to stay upright as the orgasm ripped through him. As it was, Magnus’ painted fingernails bit into Alec’s arms as Magnus’ body jerked and thrashed against his. It was a breath-taking sight to behold. Alec had seen plenty of guys come before, but never like this. Never had he seen someone so completely consumed by pleasure. And to know that _he'd_ given that to him.

Alec settled his mouth over Magnus’ in an effort to drink down his cries of relief. Shot after shot of hot cum hit parts of Alec’s arm and then coated his fingers as Alec continued to pump his hand up and down Magnus’ still-hard flesh. Alec was so caught up in Magnus’ release that he actually forgot about his own. Alec couldn't remember a time that had ever happened. He was doubtful it ever had.

By the time Magnus had calmed enough that his body was no longer jerking beyond his control, Alec’s own need had become an uncomfortable thing within himself, but he didn't even consider following through on it. For some reason that Alec didn't want to explore too thoroughly, all he wanted to do was experience every single one of Magnus’ reactions as he came back to himself. Tears were coasting down his cheeks and he was panting like he'd run a marathon at breakneck speed. Little aftershocks kept rocking his body, causing him to groan each time.

It took Magnus several long beats to finally open his eyes, but when he did, he looked directly at Alec. Alec waited until he was absolutely sure that Magnus was cognizant of what Alec was doing before Alec did the one thing he'd been thinking about from the moment he’d felt Magnus’ semen heating his skin. He gently released Magnus’ softening dick and slowly raised his hand. When Magnus’ dazed eyes shifted to Alec’s fingers, the ones that were covered in sticky white fluid, they widened and he sucked in a breath. Alec actually saw him open his mouth in anticipation.

But it wasn't _his_ mouth that Alec lifted his fingers to.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He wasn’t…_

_He couldn’t…_

_He shouldn’t…_

_Oh God he did._

With Magnus’ knees still threatening to buckle as little aftershocks from his orgasm continued to assail him, he stood transfixed as he watched Alec’s lips close around his own finger. Magnus wasn’t sure what was more erotic… the sight of Alec slowly pulling his finger back out of his mouth while his eyes shone with fire or the knowledge that his juices lingered on Alec’s tongue. Magnus couldn’t stop the little whimper of need that bubbled up from his throat when he swallowed.

And all the while, Alec’s eyes never once left his.

If Magnus hadn’t been so wrung out from his orgasm, he most certainly would have come on the spot.

Magnus hung there, waiting to see what he’d do next. When Alec leaned down and sealed his mouth over his, Magnus cried out in relief. He should have hated tasting himself on his tongue, but he eagerly drank down every bit of the unique flavour. While Magnus knew what semen tasted like, he’d never tasted his own and most certainly not while it was combined with the sweetness of Alec’s lush mouth. George hadn’t enjoyed performing oral sex on him, so…

Magnus’ thoughts hit a brick wall.

_George_.

_Oh God, what have I done?_

He shoved Alec away.

Hard.

Even before Alec fully released him, Magnus was turning away from him and pressing his body face-first against the wall. A violent wave of nausea hit Magnus, and it was all he could do not to throw up then and there.

“George,” he whispered in despair as he choked back a sob. He’d always believed George was in heaven watching over him. That thought had brought him comfort in the past but now it served only to horrify him. Even if he could get past the feeling that he’d cheated on the man who’d essentially been his husband, how was Magnus supposed to explain away the fact that he’d let a complete stranger jerk him off?

And in his six-year-old daughter’s bedroom, no less.

“Hey—” Alec began, but that was all Magnus let him get out.

“Leave,” Magnus demanded, though he couldn’t bring himself to look at Alec. Magnus sank to his ass and drew his knees up to his chest. “I’m sorry, my love,” Magnus murmured as he brought up a picture of George in his head. God, it was so hard to remember him these days. Magnus looked at his picture every night—the one he kept in the drawer of his nightstand—but outside that one image of him, Magnus couldn’t really “see” him any other way. He’d get fleeting reminders of things like his laugh or his touch, but Magnus struggled to get his face just right.

Forgetting his face was one thing, but betraying what he’d meant to Magnus… comparing him to someone who couldn’t hold a candle to him?

_Unacceptable._

Magnus kept repeating the apology over and over even as his ears picked up the faint sound of footsteps leaving the room.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d sat there like that for, but by the time the tears dried up and he felt numb and empty, he barely had the strength to stand. He dragged his body to his bathroom and turned the shower on as hot as he could bear it, then proceeded to scrub at every inch of his skin in the hopes he could wash Alec’s touch away.

It didn’t work.

Even as his own fingers skimmed his skin, he imagined they were Alec’s. He hadn’t even touched any skin besides Magnus’ dick and yet Magnus could still feel Alec’s touch everywhere.

_His touch._

Not George’s.

Magnus gave up his efforts to forget the incendiary encounter with the man who was no better than a stranger and sank to his ass again. He buried his face against his knees and stayed there like that long after the water started to turn cold. He had no idea how much time passed before he managed to reach up and turn off the water before climbing to his feet. His body felt wrung out but the numbness in his mind quickly began to wear off.

His moves were robotic as he dried himself off and went to his bedroom to search out a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt. His body felt too heavy for his limbs, so he ended up moving to his bed so he could sit down. He glanced at his nightstand but made no effort to reach for the knob on the drawer. Although he often reached for George’s picture when he needed someone to talk to, for the first time in pretty much ever, the last thing Magnus wanted was to see his face.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. Saying it once wasn’t enough. Twice wasn’t, either. Magnus ended up losing count of how many times he repeated the words. It didn’t really matter though because he knew there was no magic number that could undo what he’d done. Such a thing might have been possible if Alec had somehow forced or coerced him, but there’d been no mistaking the way things had played out.

Magnus had been the one who refused to let go. _He_ was the one who turned his head and kissed Alec. _He_ was the one who whispered those endless pleas for Alec to give him what he wanted.

Which he had.

A tremor racked Magnus’ body as he thought about how hard he’d come. He wanted to believe it had just been because he’d been abstinent for so long, but he still had the pleasure of his own hand for company in the years since George had died. But not once had his own fingers done what Alec’s had.

George’s hadn’t either.

Magnus could feel the tears threatening to fall again, so he forced himself to stand on shaky legs. He went to the bathroom to retrieve his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, but in the process of gathering the denim up off the floor, his eyes fell on the spots all around the crotch that were a darker shade of blue.

It was physical proof of the very thing he was trying to forget.

He snatched his phone out of the pocket and crumpled the jeans up into a little ball. He didn’t care how ridiculous or childish he was being when he jammed the jeans into the small wastebasket beneath his sink. He sent his neighbour a quick text to let her know he was on his way back over to her house, then grabbed the bag out of the garbage can and hurried to the front door. Since garbage day had happened the morning after the attack, the garbage can was still sitting on the curb. It would have been easier just to leave the semen-stained jeans in the larger can in the kitchen, but he needed them out of his house.

He needed them to no longer exist.

He needed…

He let out a muffled curse when his brain tried to finish the sentence with a certain someone’s name at the end of it.

“Not happening,” Magnus muttered. He paused only long enough to make sure the front door was locked behind him before practically running down the walkway to where the garbage can was sitting along the curb. As he deposited the discarded jeans in the can, he expected some kind of relief to wash over him.

It didn’t.

All he could feel was an itchiness beneath his skin and a couple of pounds’ worth of guilt sitting heavily in his belly.

He slammed the garbage can lid shut and turned to head toward his neighbour’s house.

And stopped just as quickly.

Just like before, Alec appeared out of nowhere. Only this time, he was standing a good twenty feet away. Magnus couldn’t see his face, but it didn’t matter. There was no mistaking the way he watched Magnus.

Magnus stood frozen in place, but Alec made no move to leave the spot where he was leaning against the side of his car. Magnus was helpless to do anything but stand there as he waited to see what Alec would do next. Magnus wanted him to go.

He really did.

So then why wasn’t he telling him that? Why wasn’t he screaming it to the heavens? Why wasn’t he alerting his neighbours and telling them to call the cops because there was a dangerous stranger in their midst?

They didn’t need to know that he was only a danger to Magnus… to his sanity.

Magnus willed him to move.

But he didn’t.

Magnus told himself to turn and walk away.

He couldn’t.

Magnus begged George to whisper in his ear like he always had when he’d known Magnus was too caught up in his own head… the words that had never failed to bring Magnus back to him.

There was nothing.

Even the silence around Magnus seemed off somehow. Like the whole world had abandoned him in that moment.

The fucked-up part was that Magnus was strangely relieved. Because if it was just him and Alec, then there would be no one else to witness his shame when Magnus gave in to him. Magnus knew that was exactly what he’d do if Alec approached him. Hell, at the rate things were going, Alec wouldn’t even need to move a muscle. Magnus would go to him. Magnus would be the one to disregard personal boundaries this time and he’d walk straight into Alec’s body in the hopes that those big, strong arms of his would wrap around Magnus like they had before. He’d feel those firm lips against his ear as he told Magnus all the things he wanted to do to him… would do to him.

It was utter insanity.

But Magnus already had one foot in the door of the asylum.

The other was in the process of stepping off the curb.

And then Magnus’ phone rang, shattering the silence around him. He gasped as he caught himself right before he stepped off the curb. His eyes shot up to where Alec was. His heart nearly pounded out of his chest when he realized that Alec was no longer leaning against his car… that he’d taken several steps away from it.

Toward Magnus.

_Dear God, when did that happen?_

_Did Alec move first?_

_Or did I?_

Magnus fumbled to pull his phone out of his pocket. He nearly dropped the damn thing when he saw Simon’s name on the caller ID.

He tried to command his finger to hit the accept button to answer the call, but instead, Magnus’ eyes jerked up and sought out the last person his mind should be focused on at that moment. A violent shiver coursed through Magnus as he saw Alec was getting into his car. Magnus bit down hard on his lower lip to keep from calling out to him. As the engine of the nondescript sedan turned over, Magnus’ phone went silent. He swallowed hard and tore his gaze from the vehicle. Magnus refused to allow himself to look in that general direction as he searched out the most recent call on his phone and selected it.

“Dad?” his son asked. There was no missing the concern in his voice.

“Yeah, sorry, I was…” he let his words drop off because he couldn’t think of a damn thing to say. He stared at the sidewalk as if the cement could somehow conjure up the right words that wouldn’t be a complete and utter lie. But his damn eyes wouldn’t stay put. He willed them, cursed them, and finally flat-out ordered them not to look in the direction of that fucking car, but they did it anyway.

He was leaving.

The asshole was finally leaving.

Thank God.

“Dad?”

Magnus told himself to celebrate the sight of the two red taillights disappearing into the darkness, but he couldn’t pull it off. There was no victory to be had. He’d still let the guy jerk him off. He’d still nearly called out his name as he’d come in his hand. He’d still taken that first step forward, not once, but twice.

“Dad?”

The heightened pitch of Simon’s voice snapped him from his thoughts. “Yeah, Si, I’m here. Sorry,” He muttered as he turned away from the street and began making his way toward his neighbour’s walkway.

“You okay?” Simon asked.

Magnus nodded to himself and said, “I’m good. You?”

This time, it was his son he had to send a silent apology to.

Not only for lying to him because Magnus was very much not okay, but because Magnus didn’t hear a thing he said after that.

Because he was too damn busy watching the street for the headlights of a certain nondescript sedan and its driver who was anything but.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“How’d you find me this time?” Asked Alec as he kept his eyes trained on the building across the street.

He heard Jace sigh. “You know how,” he muttered. Alec didn’t react when his visitor stepped out of the shadows and came to stand next to him at the mouth of the alley. “If you didn’t want me to find you, you’d dump your phone and use a burner,” added Jace.

“Mmhm,” was all Alec said in response. Jace was right, of course. Alec didn’t bother telling him the real reason he always kept his phone with him was so Jace could always find him if he needed him, even when he wasn’t necessarily in the mood to be found.

Like tonight.

“When are you going to stop this?” Jace asked.

“When he’s six feet under.”

Alec didn’t need to be looking at Jace to know what he was thinking. As much as Alec hated to disappoint his brother, it wouldn’t change anything.

“Just let it go, Alec,” Jace murmured. His hand settled on Alec’s shoulder and it was all he could do not to flinch. But he must have done something to make Jace aware of his discomfort with the physical contact because he immediately removed his hand. This time, Alec did glance at him. Jace’s disappointment was like a physical blow but there was nothing Alec could do to change it.

The days when Alec had been a comfort to his little brother had long since passed. His eyes shifted back to the bar across the street. He willed the door to open and for _him_ to walk through it. Then this would all finally be over and Alec could fucking breathe again. And his kid brother would be safe.

“Victor is gone, Alec,” Jace said, his voice growing heavy with a mix of frustration and anger.

Alec ignored him because he knew better. He knew things about Victor “The Victor” Aldertree that Jace didn’t. Like how Alec’s very unbalanced former second-in-command would never stop. Even if it meant he’d be exposing himself, he’d never leave a mission unfinished.

And Victor’s mission was to destroy Alec.

He’d never do it directly by coming after Alec, though. No, he was much more sadistic than that. He’d take everything that was important in Alec’s life first, and since Jace was the only person who mattered to him, his little brother would never be safe. Victor would be looking to finish what he’d started when he and the rest of Alec’s so-called team had jumped Jace and nearly killed him.

Jace still believed Victor and their brothers-in-arms had only attacked Jace so they could use him as bait to lure Alec into their trap, but Alec knew better. Jace hadn’t just been a means to an end. Victor had enjoyed watching every blow and bullet that had cut into his brother’s flesh merely because he’d known how much Alec would suffer.

How he’d _always_ suffer.

The fucker had been right.

While Jace had recovered from the attack, Alec relived it every moment of every day. And that would be reason enough for Victor to return.

The only way to keep him from getting to Jace was to find him first. Until that day came, there could be no complacency. Alec would always need to look over his shoulder.

“Go home to your man, Jace,” Alec murmured.

The mere thought of Simon Bane had Alec’s mind instantly going to the one place he needed it to _not_ go.

_Alexander, please…_

Alec inwardly cursed as the sound of Magnus’s plea filtered through his brain. Not surprisingly, his dick instantly reacted as a cacophony of images hit him one after another.

Magnus’s head thrown back in pleasure.

His wide eyes as he watched Alec taste his essence.

The moan that bubbled up from his throat when Alec kissed him.

_Fuck._

“Alec—”

“Go home!” Alec snapped at his brother as he whirled on him.

Jace flinched but stood his ground.

And Alec felt like an even bigger asshole.

His brother had stood at his side during even the most dangerous of firefights when they’d been deployed, but to know that he was capable of scaring him…

Alec recoiled in shame and leaned against the nearest brick wall. “Just go, Jace,” Alec said softly as he focused all his attention on the door across the street. Once Victor was dead, he’d get the hell out of Jace’s life so he could live his happily ever after with Simon.

It didn’t surprise Alec in the least when Jace stepped in front of him. He might have put him on edge, but he was a stubborn shit… he always had been. He needed to be to survive their father.

“He’s not in there,” Jace said, his voice cold. “I already looked.”

Alec straightened at that. “You did what?” He growled.

“It’s a gay bar, asshole. The back door might as well be a revolving one with all the guys who sneak out to the alley to fuck.”

Alec had already scoped out the building, so he’d known the back had an exit, but he’d been forced to choose only one door to watch and his gut had told him Victor would use the front one to leave, whether he hooked up with someone or not.

“Even if I hadn’t seen Victor, he sure as shit would have noticed me,” Jace added.

Alec was in the process of reaching for Jace when he caught himself. He fisted his hand instead.

Jace noticed.

But instead of moving away from Alec, he stepped forward. “You’re not Dad, Alec.” His gaze dropped briefly to his fist. “But you’re not you, either. Please, stop this. _Just stop_.”

He might as well have asked Alec to stop breathing. “I can’t,” Alec whispered. He hated the rage that burned within him. He’d always hated it. And he didn’t believe for a second that he wasn’t like their father. Alec was just better at not taking his fury out on the people he cared about.

Not people… _person_. There was only one person Alec truly cared about and he was standing in front of him.

_Are you sure?_

Alec told his inner voice to shut the fuck up, even as an image of Magnus popped in his head.

_Four days_ … four days since Magnus had come apart in his arms and he could still remember every single detail of the encounter. It made no goddamn sense. Alec couldn’t remember the face of pretty much any of the guys he’d fucked, but it was like every detail of Magnus was imprinted on his brain.

“Then at least come home. Raphael’s jet is waiting for us at the airport.”

Alec sighed. He wasn’t exactly thrilled that the man who was the closest thing he had to a boss knew he’d skipped town to deal with personal business.

Alec still had no idea how Raphael Santiago had found him and Jace in the year following the attack on Jace. His brother had still been recovering while he’d been using every connection in his arsenal to track Victor. The former-surgeon-turned-vigilante had shown up one day and made them two simple offers.

The first had been jobs where they could use their unique skill sets to help others get the justice they deserved.

The second was information.

It had turned out that Raphael himself had been in the military and had been the survivor of a brutal attack that had left his lover dead. The attack had been for no other reason than Raphael and his partner’s military brethren learning the men were in a relationship. Like Jace, Raphael had been honourably discharged after the assault.

But there hadn’t been any justice for Raphael and his partner, so he’d gotten that justice for himself.

Then he’d gone on to get it for others and slowly his team had grown. And while Raphael had returned to his roots and was once again practicing medicine as he raised a family along with his husband, Meliorne, he kept a finger on the pulse of the group he’d created.

Even before Jace and Alec had agreed to the deal, Raphael had provided the information he’d been looking for when it came to Victor’s location. Alec had missed the fucker by a matter of minutes in Prague.

It had been game on ever since.

While Alec didn’t make use of Raphael’s tech guy—or girl, rather—since he still preferred to keep his movements while hunting under wraps, he’d learned enough about the dark web to track Victor and some of his haunts. No matter where Alec was or what he was doing, if he got any kind of lead on the man, he dropped everything to check it out. Since he worked jobs with Jace, it meant his brother was often left holding the bag when he took off, but he’d given up on trying to talk Alec out of it.

Until today.

Alec sighed because there was no reason to stay. The ramshackle bar in New Orleans had been a long shot.

But he wasn’t quite ready to leave just yet.

“I’ll meet you there,” Alec murmured to Jace as he stepped past him.

“Where are you going?” Jace asked on a sigh, indicating he pretty much already knew the answer to that.

As Alec crossed the street and headed for the bar’s front door, he simply said, “To leave Victor a message.”

He was glad when Jace didn’t follow him. There was no reason for him to see proof of what he already knew.

That Alec was no longer his hero.

_I was nobody’s hero._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you like this 2nd chapter?


	3. Chapter: 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys
> 
> 1\. Once again, thank you ALL for the incredible support on this - I am still completely stunned that people actually like this.

“She’s finally asleep, “Simon said as soon as he entered the kitchen.

Magnus breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks,” he responded as he dried off another dinner dish. “Let’s hope she has a better night than last night.”

Simon stepped to his side and put his arms around Magnus. “Let’s hope you have a better night,” he said softly.

Magnus leaned into him a little before catching himself. He needed to be strong for his kids.

“How are you and Jace holding up?” Magnus asked as he gave Simon a pat on his lower back. The soft smile that graced his son’s mouth along with the colour that stained his cheeks was answer enough.

His Simon had definitely found his soulmate.

“Good,” he murmured.

Magnus nudged him a little before handing him a dish to dry off. Simon was a lot like him when it came to needing to keep busy. Magnus feared it was a habit Simon had picked up from him. He hated to think that he struggled with any kind of anxiety, but he’d seen enough as he’d been growing up to know that confidence had never been one of his strong suits. Like Magnus, Simon had been good at faking it. Magnus’ hope was that it was something Jace wouldn’t take advantage of like some of Simon’s previous boyfriends had.

Magnus didn’t think so because everything he’d seen of Jace so far had proven he was a good man. While Magnus wasn’t thrilled that Jace had lied to Simon when initially meeting him just so he could protect his son from an unseen threat, Magnus could see every time Jace looked at his son that his feelings were genuine.

Thoughts of his son’s boyfriend inevitably led to the one thing he’d been trying not to think about for three days now. Magnus hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Alec, which was how it should have been.

But that hadn’t mattered when Magnus had spent hour after hour the last few nights staring out his bedroom window in the hopes that a boring grey sedan would magically appear in front of his house. When Magnus hadn’t been watching for the one man he shouldn’t have had any desire to ever see again, he’d been running back and forth to Madzie’s room to comfort her as one nightmare after another had befallen her. Magnus was physically and emotionally drained and yet his brain never failed to cling to every detail of the man who’d become his silent torment.

“He’s on his way back home,” Simon said.

“What?” Magnus asked. “Who is?”

“Jace,” Simon responded. His eyes automatically filled with worry. “Are you sure you’re all right, Dad? The thing with Sebastian—”

“I’m fine,” Magnus said with a wave of his hand. Magnus turned his back to him so he could collect himself as he rewashed a dish that was already spotlessly clean. “Sorry, you did tell me Jace was out of town on business,” Magnus added. “So he’ll be back tonight?”

“Yeah,” Simon responded. The subject of his boyfriend proved to be enough of a distraction because he didn’t press Magnus further on the Sebastian thing. Not that Magnus would have told him that the run-in with his deranged former personal assistant had left Magnus with nightmares of his own. Magnus hadn’t even had a clue that the man had been infatuated with him until he’d shown up in Magnus’ living room with a gun pressed against his little girl’s head. Sebastian had insisted that they should leave together; that he had enough money for them to run away from everything. Magnus had been more than willing to play along with his fantasy but then all hell had broken loose and Sebastian had started shooting.

Then Alec showed up…

Magnus cursed himself for thinking of Alec yet again and tried to focus on Simon’s words instead.

“He and Alec are on their way back from New Orleans.”

“Alec?” Magnus blurted before he could stop himself. Thankfully, Simon was too busy drying dishes to notice that he’d stopped washing the one in his hands.

“Yeah, you remember him, right? Jace’s older brother.”

“Uh-huh,” Magnus said as casually as he could.

“I guess Alec went down to New Orleans for a job or something. Jace went to meet him and I guess they finished up early because they’re already on their way back home.”

Magnus’ gut clenched in excitement.

_Jesus, what’s wrong with me?_

He should be dreading the news that the man was on his way back to town.

“What kind of work are they in?” Magnus asked. He wanted to believe it was because he was interested in learning more about his son’s boyfriend, but deep down Magnus knew that wasn’t the full truth.

“Um, security,” Simon murmured.

Magnus knew when his son was lying and he was most definitely being less than truthful. But Magnus didn’t call him out on it. Part of him didn’t really want to know. Since Jace and Alec had some kind of connection to Hodge Starkweather, it was information he just wasn’t ready to hear. The whole thing with Hodge being part of the reason George was gone but also having saved Simon’s life was too much to process at once, and right now Magnus’ focus had to be on his children.

He was about to change the topic to something safer like the weather when Simon’s phone rang. He looked at his phone and smiled that same goofy smile that Magnus would never tire of seeing on his face. “Hey,” he said softly when he answered the phone.

Simon took a few steps away from Magnus, presumably for some privacy, so Magnus focused on cleaning up the dish in his hand. His eyes shifted to the shed in the backyard.

Specifically, to the broken window on the shed.

Alec had been out of town on business.

_If he hadn’t been, would he have tried to contact me?_

_Did I even want him to?_

“No,” he whispered to himself. The man had broken into his house, gone through his things, and then proceeded to make him question everything he’d ever known about himself with one kiss.

_One soul-wrenching, heartbreakingly perfect kiss._

“Are you done with that one?” Simon asked from behind. Magnus was so caught off guard, he dropped the plate in the sink. Fortunately, it didn’t break.

“Fuck,” Magnus muttered.

_When the hell would I stop being so jumpy?_

“Sorry,” Simon said softly as he appeared at his side.

He shook his head. “No, it’s fine,” Magnus responded. “Just tired.”

Simon reached for the plate and rinsed it off. “Why don’t you go to bed and I’ll sit with Madzie in case she wakes up?”

Magnus glanced at him. “No, no, go on home and wait for your man.”

“It’s not a problem,” Simon said. “I’ll see him tomorrow.”

Magnus sighed and took the plate from him, along with the towel he was using to dry it. “Go be with your man, son. I’m going to take a shower and go to bed myself. Madzie and I will be fine.”

“Dad,” Simon began, but he fell silent as soon as Magnus put his arms around him.

“Enjoy every moment you can with him, Si,” Magnus whispered. While he never wanted Simon to obsess over the possibility of losing his soulmate like he’d lost his, Magnus also knew what it was like to wish you had just one more moment with them.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Simon asked, the worry clear in his voice.

Magnus hated lying to his kid, but he slotted his response under the white lie category and said, “Yes.”

Simon sighed and returned his hug with gusto, then pulled away and grabbed his keys off the counter. His excitement warmed Magnus’ heart. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said. “But if you need me to come back tonight—”

“Go,” Magnus said before flicking his towel at him. Simon had his phone to his ear before he even got out of the kitchen.

“I’ll meet you at my place,” he murmured and then he was too far away to hear. It wasn’t until his son was out the door that the familiar, heavy weight of grief settled back on Magnus’ shoulders. These were the moments he most often wished George could have lived to see.

It took only a few minutes to put away the remaining dinner dishes, after which he went to Madzie’s room to check on her. Unlike the past two nights, Madzie looked completely at peace as she slept. Her favourite stuffed animal, a zebra he’d bought her at the airport in Bulgaria while they’d been waiting for their flight to board, was tucked in her folded arms.

The memory of the moment he’d met his daughter in the orphanage had him leaning against the doorframe. He’d never thought it possible to love another human being as much as he loved Simon, but Madzie had proven him wrong the instant she’d looked at him from the too-small bed the home’s staff had kept the little girl in.

Magnus moved into the room and leaned over Madzie so he could place a gentle kiss on her forehead. Fortunately, the move didn’t wake her up, so he quietly left her room and hurried to his own so he could sneak in a quick shower. Although Magnus had a camera set up in his room so he’d be able to see or hear if she needed him, Magnus knew he wouldn’t be able to hear it while he was showering, so he didn’t bother pulling the app up on his phone. Instead, he undressed in record time and flew through the act of showering. As he pulled on his PJs, he eyed his bathtub longingly.

He knew he was being ridiculous, but it wasn’t the baths that he missed so much as it was the normalcy they represented. It had taken him a lot of years to find a sense of peace in his life that he hadn’t really even realized was absent, but now that it was gone, he was filled with regret that it had taken him so long to recognize it.

He shoved the thought away because if he’d learned anything, it was that life was too short for regrets.

He left the bathroom and made his way back to Madzie’s room to check on her one more time and to triple-check the house yet again to make sure it was locked up tight. He was tempted to try and sleep in the armchair in Madzie’s room but it was a habit he just shouldn’t start. If he wanted Madzie to feel safe in their home, he needed to prove he felt that way too.

Even if he didn’t.

He slowed his steps as he neared Madzie’s room so he wouldn’t inadvertently wake her up. He wasn’t wearing shoes but many of the floorboards beneath his feet were prone to creaking. He’d learned that in the early days when he’d brought Madzie home. Thankfully, she was now a much heavier sleeper, the past week’s events notwithstanding.

He was so focused on watching where he stepped that he didn’t see the looming figure standing at the foot of his daughter’s bed at first. When he did, he let out a shout of fear and leapt forward. He recognized Alec a split second before he barrelled into him.

His arms came up to grab Magnus’ as he practically fell into Alec.

The relief was instantaneous, but Magnus’ adrenaline was still off the charts. “What the—”

Alec covered Magnus’ mouth with his hand. “You’ll wake her,” he said.

_Was he joking? I’d wake my daughter? That was the problem he saw with all of this?_

Magnus was about to tell him as much when his eyes met Magnus’ and something incendiary flashed between them. Just like that, his body got over the scare and used the adrenaline in his bloodstream to energize a completely different part of his body.

_God, not again…_

Magnus moaned silently to himself. He yanked himself free of Alec’s hold and opened his mouth to lay into the man when Madzie’s soft little snore caught his attention. Magnus glanced at his daughter, then at Alec before jabbing his finger in the direction of the door.

When Alec reached him, Magnus said in a hushed but what he hoped was a stern whisper, “What the hell are you doing here?”

Alec actually stepped closer to him. Magnus’ back hit the doorjamb when he stepped back. He wasn’t technically trapped because Alec wasn’t touching him, but he might as well have chained Magnus to the wall. Magnus swallowed hard as he braced his arm on the wood just above his head. Magnus could have sworn that Alec leaned in a little and inhaled deeply.

Even if Magnus was imagining that part, his dick most certainly didn’t care.

“Alexander,” Magnus reminded him in his best I’m-a-mature-father-of-two voice. It still came out sounding like a squeak.

“She dropped her toy.”

“What?” Magnus asked.

_Did I sound as breathless as I felt?_

“Your kid … she dropped her toy. The zebra thing.”

“ZeeBee?” Magnus asked as he looked in the direction of Madzie’s bed. The stuffed zebra was still in her arms but not in the same position it’d been in when he’d kissed her good night.

_Had Alec actually returned the stuffed animal to Madzie’s arms?_

“You put it back?” Magnus asked in disbelief.

“She was upset.”

When he didn’t expound on that statement, Magnus said, “Jesus, Alexander, you probably scared her half to death! She won’t remember you from the other night—”

Something in Alec’s expression went dangerously hard and forbidding, causing Magnus to cut off his words abruptly. But he didn’t reach for Magnus or lash out in any kind of way. Instead, he straightened and put several feet of space between them. Magnus was left both oddly forlorn and completely confused.

“She wasn’t awake,” Alec answered, then he turned and walked away.

Just like that.

No explanation, no emotion, no nothing. He was there turning Magnus’ world on its head again one second and gone the next.

And instead of letting him go, Magnus ran after him.

“Wait,” he called. Magnus got to him just as he reached the kitchen door that led into the backyard. He actually put his body between him and the door. “Just wait,” Magnus huffed as he tried to catch his breath. The adrenaline was leaving his system in a rush and making him light-headed. He ended up leaning heavily against the door.

For all of five seconds.

Because that was how long it took for Alec’s fingers to close around his upper arm so he could lead Magnus to the kitchen table. “Sit,” he muttered.

Magnus would have liked to tell him that he had no right to be ordering him around, but truth was, he really did need to sit.

And maybe the order didn’t rub him as wrong as it most definitely should have.

Alec returned a moment later and placed one of Madzie’s juice boxes in front of Magnus. But instead of the straw sticking neatly out of the small hole in the top, the entire upper part of the box had been ripped open. Magnus lifted his eyes to study Alec.

“Drink,” was all he said as he motioned to the box. Then he was moving past the table to stand by the window. He had his back to Magnus. But even though he wasn’t moving, Magnus got the impression that he wasn’t exactly still either.

Magnus took a sip from the juice box but choked on it as soon as Alec said, “She was fussing in her sleep. You were still in the shower, so I gave it back to her and she settled down.”

Magnus sputtered and gagged before he managed to say, “You knew I was in the shower?”

He didn’t answer. Magnus wasn’t sure he wanted Alec to. Magnus chose to believe that he’d merely heard the running water and nothing more.

_Yeah, I was pretty good at lying to myself._

“What are you doing here, Alexander?” Magnus asked with a sigh.

“You need better locks.”

“If I install them, will you stop picking them and knock on my door like a normal person?” Magnus asked. If he hadn’t been looking at him, Magnus would have missed the tightening of his shoulders and back. He considered the way he’d reacted when Magnus accused him of scaring Madzie.

_Had my words actually hurt him?_

Magnus took another sip of the juice, then abandoned the mangled box and got up so he could stand closer to him.

Not too close. Just enough to see his face and hopefully confirm some of the strange things Magnus’ mind was coming up with. The idea that he’d hurt the man’s feelings was both insane and worrisome. Yes, his behaviour was over the top, but he hadn’t done anything to hurt Magnus or Madzie. Magnus owed the man his life, for God’s sake.

“Alexander,” he repeated, keeping his voice soft. To Magnus’ surprise, Alec actually flinched. But not like he was in pain… more like he was… uncomfortable. “What are you doing here?” Magnus asked.

He didn’t answer Magnus. Beyond the strange flinching thing, he didn’t react at all. It was beyond frustrating, but Magnus knew shouting at the man would get him nowhere.

“Simon said you and your brother were out of town on business.”

No response. At least not at first. When it did come, it was a blink-and-miss-it thing because all he did was jerk his head in what Magnus assumed was a nod.

“And you just got back?” Magnus asked. “Was the trip a success?” He didn’t care so much about the second part as he did the first. But Magnus was too much of a coward to ask him directly if he’d come here right after landing in New York. Jace had notified Simon as soon as he’d arrived home, but there would be no reason for Alec to come here—

“Did the glass come?”

“What?” Magnus asked, surprised that he was once again using words.

“For your kid’s room. And the shed.”

“Um, I ordered it, but it hasn’t come yet. Tomorrow maybe.”

“And the contractor?”

_Was he seriously more interested in talking about house repairs than addressing the fact that he’d broken into my home for the second time in nearly as many days?_

“Alexander—”

“What’s wrong with your daughter?”

If there’d been any kind of animosity in the question, Magnus would have channelled his inner Mama Bear and laid into the man, but he seemed genuinely curious.

“She’s been through quite a few nightmares in her short life so far. And her name’s Madzie.”

Alec glanced at Magnus. Magnus wondered if it was because he’d had the guts to point out that his daughter had a name that wasn’t “your kid.” Magnus might not have been the bravest guy when it came to standing up for himself, but God save anyone who laid a finger on either of his kids.

“That why she can’t talk?”

“It’s why she needs an alternative method of communication,” Magnus said, trying to hide his irritation.

Alec shifted his eyes to Magnus and held his gaze. “It bothers you?” he asked. “When people say she can’t talk?”

Leave it to the man who had his own limitations when it came to speaking to pick up on Magnus’ behaviour rather than just his words in this case.

“She’s no different than any other little boy or girl. She loves junk food and watching movies and being outside and—”

Just like that, Alec was in Magnus’ personal space again and Magnus abruptly stopped talking because his body was going haywire. The man did that weird inhaling thing again that should have freaked Magnus out but made him crazy in an entirely different way.

“She’s lucky to have you… Magnus.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d said Magnus’ name, but it might as well have been.

“I’m the lucky one,” Magnus murmured. He found his eyes dropping to Alec’s mouth. His whole body began to tremble as it silently begged for what Magnus’ mouth couldn’t say.

In that moment, Magnus was his.

Absolutely and completely.

Bent over the kitchen table or up against the window or on his back on the kitchen floor… didn’t matter. Magnus was his for the taking. He wasn’t proud of it, but he couldn’t keep lying to himself. He didn’t even pretend to understand the chemistry he had with the man. It was just there. The sky was blue, grass was green, and he wanted Alexander Lightwood more than he wanted his next breath.

“Alexander,” he whispered.

Magnus drew in a shaky breath and waited for whatever was to come. When it did, he wasn’t prepared for it.

At all.

Because Alec did nothing more than lift his finger to trace the sensitive skin beneath Magnus’ left eye before saying, “Get some sleep, Magnus.”

Then, just like that, he was gone.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Alexander.”

Alec didn’t turn around because he knew Magnus would just have that same mix of confusion and pity in his eyes he’d had the night before and Alec had no desire to see it again.

Ever.

He also wasn’t in the mood to hear the same question he had every right to be asking him.

_What are you doing here, Alexander?_

Alec didn’t want to hear it because he had no fucking clue what he was doing there.

Again.

So he did what would serve the biggest purpose and focused on the task at hand. He could have replaced the window in the shed with his eyes closed, but it was more convenient for him to pretend it was taking all his attention to complete the job.

Several long beats of silence followed.

For the first time in as long as he could remember, the lack of noise made him uncomfortable. He was in the process of turning around when Magnus said, "I don't even know why I have this thing. I mean, the house didn’t come with it and I hire people to maintain the lawn because I can't work a lawnmower to save my life, but I saw this shed at Home Depot one day while I was looking for some hanging flowerpots for my front porch and I just had to have it. I mean, in what world is a garden shed an impulse buy at the checkout aisle? My world, apparently."

Alec found himself inwardly smiling at Magnus' rambling. He had no clue why it brought him such a strange sense of comfort, but it did. Maybe Alec was just glad Magnus wasn't asking him the dreaded question of what he was doing there. Alec was sure that question would eventually come, but in the meantime, he’d enjoy every second of the momentary reprieve.

"I think it's because it matches the house. I mean, not exactly, but the trim is close, and I liked how the windows were circular. Maybe it reminded me of a dollhouse or something. I don't know. I always wanted a dollhouse as a kid, one with circular windows, but that was a big no-no because boys weren’t supposed to want dollhouses…" Magnus let out a laugh that sounded more nervous than anything else. Then he went quiet.

Which was unacceptable to Alec, though he didn't really know why.

Alec cleared his throat and said, "The windows are nice, but they’re a bitch to replace."

_Jesus, Alec, was that really the best you could come up with?_

"Oh, um, I didn't realize that. I told you, I could hire someone to do this… I mean, I'll pay you, of course, but I'm just saying that if you don't have the time or the desire to—"

Alec glanced over his shoulder at him, which effectively silenced him. He was surprised to see that Magnus was holding two bottles of beer in his hands.

_Was that the reason he'd come out here? To bring me a beer?_

"I broke it, I fix it," Alec reminded him. He inwardly cursed when Magnus' expression fell even further. God, why couldn't he just say the right thing? And why was it so important to him that he wanted to? He’d never once given a shit what people thought of him. Hell, his dad had spent years trying to beat certain words out of him. He’d never succeeded, of course. But definitely not from a lack of trying.

"Is that for me?" Alec finally asked, because he couldn't come up with anything better to break the tension that had risen between them. Not that there wasn't always tension between them, but when Magnus went silent, it was never a good thing.

"What? Oh, yeah, I brought you this. I don't even know if you drink. I mean, I don't very often, but I figured if I've ever earned the few extra calories, it would be this week." He let out a nervous laugh. Alec couldn't help but let his eyes trail up and down Magnus’ body and couldn't imagine him as anything other than perfect. The hunger that was an always present thing around Magnus intensified and Alec found himself lowering the hammer in his hand as he stepped closer to him. Alec loved hearing Magnus suck in a breath as he did so. He was so damn easy to read. And so fucking responsive. Alec thought about the way Magnus had come apart for him a few days earlier.

_God, had it only been a handful of days since I’d had him?_

"This is good," Alec managed to say as he took the long-necked bottle from him, making sure that Alec’s fingers touched his in the process. Alec told himself the night before that he needed to keep his distance from the man, but he might as well have tried to stop the tide from coming in. Magnus was like a drug to him and Alec was more than eager to become addicted to him. But he also remembered the way Magnus had tried to crawl into the wall after their encounter, sobbing and not wanting Alec to touch him afterwards. In the past few days, Alec tried to convince himself that he just had no interest in pursuing a man who was still hung up on his dead husband, but that stupid little niggle in his brain was proof otherwise. So was the fact that Alec was still here. He could've had Magnus the night before. He'd known that, from the way Magnus had looked at him as they’d stood by his kitchen window. Magnus had been his for the taking. Alec had been practically shaking with the need to touch him, to consume him, to make Magnus his in every way that he could.

But that was exactly why he'd walked away. Because for the first time in his life, he'd actually been afraid that he wouldn't be able to walk away. That was how he'd known it was time to go. That was how he'd been able to take a step back from Magnus even after Alec touched his warm skin.

By the time Alec reached his car, he'd vowed to never again return to the little ranch style house in the serene little neighbourhood. And yet, here he was.

Alec took a sip of the beer but kept his eyes on Magnus the whole time. He watched Magnus as Magnus watched him. Well, Alec’s throat, anyway. Magnus’ eyes were fixated on that particular part of Alec’s body as he swallowed the icy-cold liquid. Alec told himself that he should just fuck him and get it over with, but his brain overruled his body and he found himself turning back around to focus his attention on the window. He'd found the glass in Magnus' garage, along with the one for his kid’s window—Madzie… Madzie’s window. Alec’s plan was to tackle that job next, then deal with Magnus' flimsy locks. He needed a security system too, but Alec would focus on the locks first.

"Alexan—"

"I knocked," Alec interjected before Magnus could ask him the question.

"What?"

"I knocked on your door," Alec said simply. "You didn't answer."

"I was dropping Madzie off at her afterschool program. She hasn't been ready to go back to school itself, but she feels safe at the afterschool place because Simon volunteers there a couple of afternoons a week. He and your brother are going to take Madzie to a movie tonight." Magnus paused a beat before he said Alec’s name again, but coward that he was, Alec began nailing the frame for the window into place. He took his time with the task. Assuming his blatantly rude gesture had done the trick and sent Magnus scurrying, Alec reached down to grab a nail from the box on the ground but it was no longer there.

He turned around and saw Magnus holding a single nail in his hand. He extended it to Alec and said, "I can do this as long as you can. We are going to talk about this."

His stubbornness was not a good thing because it chipped away at the walls Alec had put up between himself and Magnus… the wall that was keeping Alec from putting his hands on him again. The very last thing he should be doing was challenging Alec in any kind of way. Alec took the nail from him and stepped into his space. He shifted nervously for a moment but stood his ground. Alec’s cock filled with even more in anticipation. "What is it that we're doing?" Alec asked.

Instead of answering him, Magnus softly said, "Thank you, Alexander."

His words caught Alec off guard and admittedly, made Alec more than uncomfortable. He didn't want Magnus’ thanks. He didn't want his kindness or his understanding. He didn't want Magnus trying to figure him out. He wanted Magnus to keep his distance so he could keep his. He wanted to not wonder why he was doing this dance with him. He wanted to bury his body within Magnus’ and be done with it so he could get back to his normal life, even if normal was relative in Alec’s case.

"I told you, I broke it, I fix—"

"You saved my daughter’s life. Probably my life too. Sebastian was clearly unstable. So thank you for what you did. I know I said it that night, but it wasn’t enough. No words could ever be enough."

Magnus’ heartfelt admission made something in Alec’s gut tighten uncomfortably. "Was that the fucker's name?" Alec asked. It was one of those questions that Alec already had the answer to, but he was desperate to get the focus off himself and back where it belonged.

"Yes. Sebastian. He worked for me before I resigned."

Magnus sounded disappointed, but Alec wasn't sure if it was because he'd swept aside his words of thanks or if he was thinking about his former employee’s betrayal. Alec chose to believe it was the latter because that was much easier to deal with.

"He was in love with you," Alec said. Rage began simmering in his blood as he thought about what the lunatic could have done to Magnus if he'd managed to abduct him like he’d planned. Alec slammed the nail into the window frame with one hit of the hammer.

"He only thought he was. Like I said, he was emotionally—"

"He was a psychotic son of a bitch," Alec muttered as he grabbed another nail from Magnus and pounded it into the window frame. He turned to get yet another nail but found that Magnus had moved away from him and was now sitting on a small picnic table bench next to a sandbox. He had the box of nails in his hand and was rolling it back and forth between his fingers.

"I didn't see it," he said softly as he stared at the lush green grass. "He worked for me for years, but I had no idea."

"The most effective predators are the ones you never see coming," Alec said as he went to the table and eased the box of nails from his hand. "You couldn't have known. He would've made sure you didn't."

Magnus shook his head. "If you and Hodge hadn't been there, both my children…" Magnus dropped his head into his hands.

Alec knew he was supposed to comfort him in some way, but even if he’d known how, the last thing he should be doing was putting his hands on him. But as he stood there silently and watched Magnus suffer through his emotions, Alec felt that unfamiliar itch beneath his skin. That strange restlessness that he was afraid had nothing to do with wanting to fuck the guy in front of him.

He hated it.

The helplessness.

It’d been the same thing he’d felt when Magnus had turned away from him in his daughter’s room after Alec had gotten him off. Alec hadn’t known what to do then just as he didn’t know what to do now. He told himself to just turn around and finish up with the window… to leave Magnus on his own to deal with whatever he was going through.

He managed to turn away from Magnus.

He even managed to return to the shed and begin hammering more nails into place.

But when Magnus suddenly got up, collected his beer and began walking toward his house, Alec blurted words that he’d never said to anyone in all of his twenty-nine years.

“Don’t go.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

If Alec hadn’t begun furiously pounding nails into the window frame the second Magnus turned around, he would have asked Alec to repeat himself because Magnus was still in complete and utter disbelief that Alec had said the words in the first place. But Alec’s obvious agitation was proof that he had said them.

And he wasn’t happy about it.

Although Magnus was still feeling overly emotional, he quietly turned around and returned to the picnic table. Alec never once looked at him as he continued securing the frame, nor did he say anything else. Magnus didn’t really care, though, because he was reeling from the fact that the man had actually asked him to stay.

Magnus used the opportunity to study Alec as he worked. He was wearing jeans and a navy-blue t-shirt along with heavy-looking work boots. The sleeves of his shirt hugged the curve of his large biceps as he swung the hammer with precision. Magnus’ eyes couldn’t help but follow the black ink that covered most of his arms.

A shiver of excitement went through him as he remembered how that particular hand had felt wrapped around his most sensitive flesh.

Alec chose that particular moment to glance Magnus’ way, so Magnus busied himself with taking a sip of his beer and pretended to be interested in the flower beds bordering his fence. He could feel the man’s eyes on him, but Magnus didn’t dare look at Alec again until the hammering resumed.

By the time Alec knocked the last nail into place, Magnus’ body was alive with energy.

But it wasn’t until Alec looked his way again that Magnus’ mouth did what it did best.

Went haywire.

“I should be planting my hyacinths and tulips,” he blurted. “I mean, how often do we get weather like this, right?” Magnus asked. “I can plant them in the rain, of course, but I should be taking advantage of the dry spell.”

_Shut up._

“Though you know that as soon as I get my garden tools out, the rain’s going to come.”

_Shut up now._

Alec stared at him with that unreadable expression of his. It should have been enough to shut Magnus up.

It wasn’t.

“Now garden tools, those are my jam. Most people think all you need is a regular trowel and you’re good to go.” Magnus shook his head even as his brain commanded his mouth to stop moving. “I mean, you could probably get by with a potting trowel and a traditional one, but why would you want to, right?”

Alec’s eyes stayed on him as he reached down to collect his beer and took a long swig of it. Then he started walking toward Magnus.

“I’ve got ’em all,” Magnus sputtered. “Potting, digging, weeding, tulip, planting…”

_Shut the fuck up right now, Magnus!_

“You’d think that would be all of them, but then you’d be leaving out some of the most important ones. Like the Great Dixter trowel. You’d like that one because you can hit it with a hammer so it goes in deep—”

Alec took another swallow of his beer. Just watching his throat move had Magnus’ own mouth going dry.

Dry, but not silent.

“It, um, goes deep…”

Alec came to a stop in front of him. He slowly put his empty beer bottle down on the table, leaning into Magnus in the process. “You were saying?” Alec murmured.

“Huh?” Magnus croaked. His eyes were stuck on Alec’s beautiful lips. If Magnus turned his head just a little…

“It goes deep.”

“It does?” Magnus whispered and then God help him, his eyes fell to Alec’s crotch. Alec’s breath skittered over Magnus’ skin.

“Your tool,” he clarified. “You said it goes deep.”

“Um, yeah,” Magnus murmured. “The Great Dixter… it’s meant for deep, tight places.” It wasn’t until the words left his lips that he actually heard them. Heat crawled up his neck.

“Sounds like a useful thing to have,” Alec said. Magnus could have sworn Alec’s mouth skimmed his ear before he leaned back. He had Magnus’s beer in his hand. He hadn’t even noticed Alec take it from his fingers. A smile drifted over his gorgeous mouth right before he took a sip.

“Ass,” Magnus muttered, though he found himself smiling too. Magnus hadn’t thought the man capable of finding humour in anything. That one small smile might as well have been like a burst of sunshine as far as he was concerned.

Magnus was surprised when Alec climbed onto the picnic table with him and sat so their hips were nearly touching. Alec passed the beer back to him. Magnus’ eyes clung to the spot where Alec’s lips had just been. Magnus was so consumed with the excitement of putting his mouth where his had been that Magnus didn’t notice the stiffness in Alec’s body at first. It wasn’t until he snatched the bottle from Magnus’ hand that he realized Alec was pissed.

“What?” Magnus asked as Alec jerked away from him and began to climb off the table. Magnus grabbed his arm to stop him. What the hell had happened to the easy comradery they’d just found with each other?

“So you’re fine with my mouth when it’s getting you off but any other time it offends your sensibilities?” Alec snapped.

“Wha—?”

“Don’t worry, this spic won’t—”

Magnus didn’t wait to hear the rest of his tirade. He didn’t need to. Instead, Magnus grabbed Alec’s face and turned it enough so he could slam his mouth over Alec’s. The element of surprise meant Magnus had several precious seconds to absorb every detail of his response before Alec could react.

The little grunt of surprise.

The stiffness of his lips beneath Magnus that didn’t last even a full second.

The hitch in Alec’s breath right before his arm snaked around Magnus’ waist.

They were an amazing couple of seconds but there was no arguing with the rush of pleasure that went through Magnus when Alec hungrily began kissing him back. Magnus’ whole body went up in flames as Alec’s hot tongue licked over his.

Pure satisfaction rolled over Magnus when Alec broke the kiss and dragged in a deep breath. Magnus was equally oxygen-deprived, but he managed to play it cool as he reached out and took the beer bottle from Alec’s lax fingers and asked, “Any questions?” before taking a hefty sip. When Magnus casually handed it back to him, he could swear he saw a hint of a smile touch the sides of Alec’s mouth.

Magnus forced himself not to get hung up on watching him take a drink and instead focused on the little shed and its newly fixed window. “Does that happen a lot?” Magnus hesitated and added, “People calling you that?”

Alec shifted next to him. His arm, which had been braced behind Magnus, disappeared. He leaned forward so his position on the picnic table was mirroring Magnus’. “Not to my face,” he finally responded. “Not if they want to keep their own in one piece.”

Magnus reached for the beer and took a sip before handing it back to him. “Ignorant assholes,” Magnus muttered. He glanced at Alec and softly said, “The shed looks great, Alexander. Thank you.”

He nodded slightly but didn’t say anything. Magnus couldn’t help but wonder if he didn’t like praise because he felt he didn’t deserve it or he just wasn’t used to hearing it.

“Where’d you learn to fix stuff like that?” Magnus asked.

He shrugged. “Worked construction here and there when I was a kid.”

“When you were a kid?” Magnus asked. “How old?”

Another shrug. “Jace was around ten so I guess I was fifteen.”

Strange that it would be his brother’s age that he’d remember when it came to something like that, but Magnus didn’t comment on it.

“But you don’t work in construction now?” Magnus offered. “Simon says you and Jace work in security.”

He nodded his head once. Magnus bit back a sigh. So much for thinking they’d passed that unseen barrier that kept him so damn quiet. Magnus returned his attention to the shed. “Can I ask you something?” Magnus murmured. He hadn’t intended to bring the issue up, but it was something that had been stewing in his brain ever since Simon had said Alec and his younger brother worked in the security industry.

He took Alec’s silence as a yes. “Do you know how Hodge is doing?”

When Alec didn’t answer, Magnus turned to look at him. His eyes were on Magnus. “He’s home from the hospital,” he said. “He’s expected to make a full recovery.”

The relief that went through Magnus was instantaneous.

“How do you know him?” Alec asked.

Magnus held out his hand for the beer. Alec instantly gave it to him. “You first,” Magnus said.

“He’s friends with our boss. Mine and Jace’s.”

Magnus thought back to the night Sebastian had attacked his family. “So Hodge asked your boss for Jace to keep Simon safe after he was attacked in his office?” Magnus asked.

Alec nodded.

“And that was why Jace got close to Simon? Their meeting at the Halloween charity event Simon had organized wasn’t a coincidence?”

Another nod.

“Why not you?”

“Why not me what?” Alec asked.

“Why weren’t you the one who was supposed to get close to my son?” Even as Magnus asked the question, he felt queasy. What kind of cluster-fuck would it have been if Alec had been the one involved in a physical relationship with his son? Thankfully, Magnus wasn’t at all attracted to Jace, but obviously the same wasn’t true when it came to Alec. It hurt Magnus’ brain too much to even think about.

“I’m not much of a people person,” he said simply. Magnus would have laughed if he hadn’t been completely serious. “Jace handles the front-end stuff on our jobs… I stay behind the scenes. I prefer the shadows.” Alec finished off the beer and then began twirling the bottle between his palms. The nervous gesture surprised Magnus.

“What?” Magnus asked softly.

“We didn’t know you were the target,” he murmured, sidestepping Magnus’ original question completely. “If we had, I would have gotten inside sooner… before that fucker touched your kid—Madzie. Before he touched Madzie.”

Magnus could see his body beginning to vibrate with tension and he instinctively knew what it would lead to. Magnus wasn’t afraid of Alec’s rage, but that didn’t mean he wanted him to have to resort to physical methods to expel the built-up emotion. Magnus covered his hands with one of his, forcing him to stop toying with the bottle, which he’d stopped rolling and had been squeezing between his fingers instead. No doubt it wouldn’t have taken much effort on his part to shatter the thing.

Thankfully, Alec eased his grip on the bottle when Magnus touched him.

“You got to us in time, Alexander. That’s all I care about.”

Alec let out a deep breath that seemed to reverberate throughout his entire body. His hands relaxed slightly beneath Magnus’. Magnus figured it was the best he was going to get.

“Jace said that fucker stole some money from some of your clients and that’s why Simon was attacked.”

Magnus nodded and pulled his hand away, since he was now the one dealing with emotions he wasn’t fond of. “Sebastian stole the money from a guy who was using my company to launder it. The guys thought Simon had taken the cash, so they threatened him. Hodge Starkweather got wind of it and I guess that’s where you guys came in. Simon isn’t exactly trusting of cops, especially Hodge. Runs in the family,” Magnus admitted.

“Why didn’t you guys trust Hodge?” Alec asked.

Magnus shook his head because it was a topic he had no interest in discussing.

“Magnus,” Alec said gently.

_Too damn gently._

“Because… he’s the reason Simon’s father is dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #Obsession_fic


	4. Chapter: 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, let's just say that this is the chapter that REALLY gives the story its 'explicit' rating...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys
> 
> 1\. Once again, I absolutely have to thank everyone for their amazing comments - I cannot even tell you how much I LOVE reading them.
> 
> 2\. This one actually turned out to be a bit of a monster at over 10.7K - so, I REALLY hope you like it.

Alec should've been happy to have the topic of conversation be off of him but hearing the raw pain in Magnus' voice had him wishing he hadn't asked the question in the first place. It was another one of those moments where he wished Jace was there to guide him on what _not_ to say. He'd met Hodge Starkweather a few times and had always considered him a good guy, but there was no doubting the certainty in Magnus’ voice.

"What do you mean?" asked Alec.

Magnus began rubbing his palms together. Alec opened his mouth to tell him they didn't have to talk about any of this, but Magnus beat him to the punch.

"George, my husband—”

Magnus suddenly stopped and covered his mouth with his hand. “Sorry,” he continued softly. “George and I weren’t married but I still call him my husband. He, uh, got me this ring before he died but he never got the chance to propose.” A tear slipped down Magnus’ cheek. “It’s not like gay marriage was legal back then anyway, but I guess he wanted to make it official in our eyes at least. I found the ring in the suit he was supposed to wear the weekend after he died… it was our anniversary.”

“Fuck,” Alec whispered as he reached up to swipe his hand through his hair.

Magnus shook his head like he was trying to dismiss the whole thing. “Anyway, George was Hodge's partner on the police force. When Hodge found out George was gay, he refused to partner with him. The whole force saw George as nothing more than a perverted deviant. The day Hodge told his captain he would no longer work with George, George was ordered to go out on patrol by himself. His first call was a domestic violence one. Some guy was beating the shit out of his girlfriend and her son. George stepped in to break it up, but then the guy’s brother showed up and all hell broke loose. They opened fire on him. He got shot in the shoulder but managed to make it back to his patrol car so he could call for backup."

Magnus' voice fell off as he reached up to wipe at his eyes. Alec knew there was a right thing for him to say, but he had no idea what it was. He cursed the fact that he was so inept when it came to interacting with others. Jace, and probably just about any other human being on the planet, would've known what to do or say to Magnus to make him feel better. But all Alec could do was sit there like a useless lump as Magnus’ heart broke all over again right before his eyes.

"Backup never came. George could've driven off in his car, but he was determined to save that woman and her child."

"Did he?" Alec asked.

Magnus nodded. "George gave her the time she needed to make a run for it. She and her little boy made it to a neighbor’s house."

It was several long seconds before he managed to speak again. "Those assholes left him there to die. He used to tell me how his heart would race and his stomach would drop when he heard those words… 'officer down.' They were pretty much the worst thing any cop could hear. But when George said them… When _he_ was the one who was down…"

Magnus shook his head, clearly unable to finish. Alec was still clueless as to what to do next. Telling him he was sorry seemed like too little. How the hell had Alec gotten to this point with this man? Alec was supposed to be thinking of all the ways he wanted to fuck him, not wishing he knew the best way to comfort him. Alec’s eyes drifted to Magnus’ hands again. He was wringing them now. Alec remembered what his touch had felt like against his own skin as he'd tried to crush the glass beer bottle between his fingers. No, Alec’s rage hadn’t magically disappeared, but it had dulled a bit. Long enough for him to get past the helplessness that had consumed him as he'd remembered how badly he'd fucked up by letting Magnus’ stalker get so close to him and Madzie.

Alec reached out to cover Magnus’ hands with one of his own. Magnus stilled for a moment and then, to Alec’s surprise, Magnus dropped one hand and then opened the other so their palms were touching. Then he linked their fingers together before covering their joined hands with his other one. It was such an intimate touch, at least for Alec. But for the first time in as long as Alec could remember, he didn't feel the need to escape it.

_A feeling so foreign yet so incredible._

"I know that I shouldn't be upset with Hodge anymore. Especially after what he did the other night. He saved Simon's life. I told him I'd forgiven him, and I have, but…"

"You're still angry," Alec offered.

Magnus nodded. "That's strange, isn't it? To forgive someone… to be thankful for one thing they've done, but still hate them for another." Magnus began to rub the thumb on his free hand over Alec’s. Alec wasn't even sure he realized he was doing it. Once again, Alec couldn't understand why he was allowing it to happen. Why he was actually… _enjoying_ it.

"No, it isn't. Some people are wired that way."

"What do you mean?" Magnus asked as his eyes shifted from their joined hands to Alec’s face. Alec found himself looking away. That, in itself, was a first for Alec.

"You don't feel things in black-and-white. Jace is like that too."

"And you're not?" Magnus asked.

Alec shook his head.

"Give me an example."

Alec found himself meeting Magnus’ eyes. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell Magnus no. But the words that came out of his mouth were so much more than that simple single one. "Our father."

"What about him?"

Alec shook his head because that rage inside of him was starting to build again and he wasn't in any position to do anything about it. But then Magnus’ thumb began to move over his again and he whispered, "Please, tell me, Alexander."

Alec stared at Magnus’ ring-clad fingers. His skin was a slightly darker shade. It was more delicate too, and clean. Not marked up with ink like his own. It was another reminder of how different they were. Magnus was refined and classy and good. And Alec…

_Wasn't._

"No matter how many times the fucker would hit Jace, my brother still believed there was some goodness in our old man. He'd remember the one time we went fishing with him and he’d hold on to that. Didn't matter how many bruises the piece of shit left on his skin or what kinds of names he called him, Jace still loved him."

"And you didn't?" Magnus offered.

Alec shook his head. "Hated him. Still do. Always will."

Fire danced beneath Alec’s skin as rage lit up in his belly. The image of Jace huddled in a corner as their father towered over him, belt in hand, had Alec yanking himself away from Magnus. Alec climbed off the picnic bench and automatically began searching for something to take his hate out on.

"Alexander," Magnus said gently, but Alec was too far gone this time. All he could hear were the sounds of Jace's whimpers as the belt fell over and over again. No matter how quickly Alec moved, he couldn't get to Jace fast enough. Alec needed that piece of leather to cut into his skin, not Jace’s. But he just couldn't get to him…

Alec’s eyes fell on the hammer that had fallen off the picnic bench at some point. Probably when Magnus had grabbed him and kissed him out of the blue. He tried to hang on to that image, but it was too far away. Alec couldn't reach it, just like he couldn't reach his little brother. Alec snatched the hammer off the ground and stalked toward the pretty little shed.

The noise in his head grew louder and louder the closer he got to the small structure. Jace's pleas, Magnus’ grief, Madzie's fear… they all jumbled together until Alec couldn’t hear anything else.

But then, just like that, they were gone. And it was only _his_ voice that Alec heard.

_You’re just like me, Alec …_

Alec shook his head but the evidence was in his hand. No matter how badly he wanted to drop that hammer, his fingers refused the command. Alec _was_ just like him. He always had been, and he always would be.

Alec was about to take another step forward toward the shed when Magnus suddenly moved into his path. Thankfully, he didn't touch Alec. Shame that Magnus was seeing him like this warred with the fear of what Alec might do to him if Magnus made the mistake of laying even a finger on him. Alec opened his mouth to tell him to get out of his way, but the words wouldn't come. Nor, surprisingly, did Alec’s body push past him so it could continue to its ultimate target. They stood there, in this strange kind of suspended animation, their eyes locked and their bodies just inches apart.

_Why wasn't he moving? Why wasn't he running away?_

_Why wasn't I telling him to flee?_

"Alexander," Magnus said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. Alec’s whole body began to shake with need.

_But with the need for what exactly?_

"Alexander," the man before him repeated and then suddenly, Magnus’ skin was on him. Alec felt like he was moving in slow motion as he turned to watch Magnus’ fingers slide down the length of his arm. His touch sent shivers through Alec. Not of rage, but of something else. Something stronger. Alec knew in that instant what he needed. Magnus’ fingers trailed over his wrist and finally came to a stop over Alec’s fisted hand.

"You don't need this, Alexander" he murmured.

Alec’s heart felt like it was going to slam out of his chest as Magnus eased Alec’s grip on the hammer open until it landed with a thud in the grass. Alec expected Magnus to step back at that point. To at least grab the hammer and move it away from him so he couldn’t use it on his beloved shed. But to Alec’s surprise, Magnus’ fingers once again linked with his like they had when they’d been sitting on the picnic table. “You don’t need it,” Magnus repeated as he lifted their joined hands.

Alec’s chest seized when Magnus positioned Alec’s arm around his waist. He told himself he was reading the move all wrong… that Magnus was just going to hug him or something. But Alec’s addled mind only saw it for what it was. As Magnus giving him one thing.

_Permission._

Alec let out an ungodly snarl as all his rage and need converged. He dragged Magnus forward at the same time that he slammed his mouth down on Magnus’. Magnus let out a little whimper that he thought could have been a protest of sorts, but when Magnus’ fingers tangled in his hair and gripped it hard, Alec wasn’t so certain. Then Magnus began kissing him back.

And all doubt was instantly erased.

Alec groaned into Magnus’s mouth as his tongue danced with Alec’s.

But Alec wasn’t interested in dancing. He wanted one thing and one thing only.

Alec walked Magnus backwards several steps until his back hit the wall of the shed behind him. He pinned Magnus’ arms above his head as he took complete and total possession of Magnus’ mouth. The kiss was carnal at best. He waited for Magnus to turn his head away because it was too much…

_Because I was too much._

But Magnus met Alec kiss for kiss and it wasn’t long before Alec realized that as much as Alec was owning him in that moment, Magnus was claiming him just the same.

When Alec was finally forced to tear his mouth from his just so they could each suck in some air, he pressed his forehead against Magnus’. Alec’s cock throbbed painfully in his jeans. All the rage Magnus had effectively cast from his body with a single touch had been replaced with an obscene level of need that frightened Alec. He’d come to accept that his rage was sometimes beyond his control, but he’d never had that same problem with his desire.

Alec covered Magnus’ mouth with his again as he tried to get control of himself, but it was useless. Magnus continued to kiss him back, but it didn’t take long before it wasn’t enough anymore. Alec dragged his mouth from his and gripped Magnus’ chin gently between his thumb and forefinger.

“Be sure,” Alec practically snarled. “No regrets this time.”

Magnus’ eyes were glazed over with passion. His damp lips parted as he tried to make sense of Alec’s words. When realization dawned, Alec found himself holding his breath.

Alec knew what his response would be seconds before Magnus even opened his mouth because his nimble fingers were stroking the back of Alec’s neck and they tightened just the tiniest bit right before he nodded and whispered, “No regrets.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The last syllable hadn’t even cleared Magnus’ lips before Alec shifted into action. His mouth crashed down onto Magnus’ again at the same time that his hands dropped to Magnus’ ass. Using his entire body, Alec pressed him back against the side of the shed. “Hold on to me,” Alec growled against Magnus’ mouth.

Magnus already had his arms wrapped around Alec’s neck, so he wasn’t sure what Alec meant until he suddenly gripped Magnus’ ass and lifted him. Magnus instinctively put his legs around Alec’s waist but before he could tell Alec he was too heavy, Alec was on the move, carrying Magnus as though he weighed nothing at all. His mouth never left Magnus’ as he took a few steps, then kicked the shed door open. There was a resounding cracking sound that followed, but Magnus didn’t give a shit if he’d broken the thing or not. All Magnus cared about was finding some relief from the inferno that his body had become.

The shed was quickly plunged into near darkness when Alec booted the door shut behind them. Magnus heard things being kicked around as Alec moved around in the small space. Thankfully, he’d selected a shed that had been designed for an average adult to have a little headroom while inside of it, so even with Alec carrying him, he wasn’t in danger of hitting his head.

He put his trust in Alec to get them wherever he had in mind and just focused on kissing him instead. He growled beneath Magnus’ mouth and gripped Magnus’ ass hard, but Magnus didn’t consider it any kind of complaint. And if Alec did decide to punish him for taking advantage of him literally having his hands full, then so be it.

He only got to tease Alec for about five seconds because that was how long it took him to carry Magnus to the table he used for potting plants. The second Magnus’ ass hit the wood, Alec’s hands cupped his face and he was back in control of things.

Though that didn’t mean Magnus was a passive participant. Quite the opposite, actually. Because as Alec leaned into him, Magnus kept his legs wrapped around his waist and quickly reached for the hem of his shirt. He released Magnus long enough to let him tug the shirt off his body, then he was on Magnus again. Their moves were frantic and rough as they tore at each other’s clothes. Magnus was in the midst of wondering what had possessed him to wear a dress shirt when Alec let out a loud snarl and ripped the front of his shirt open after giving up on the small buttons.

Magnus, in turn, had a little more success with Alec’s pants. Somehow, even with shaky fingers, Magnus managed to get the jeans open. Magnus expected to find a layer of fabric separating his hand from Alec’s cock, but his fingers immediately met with hot, hard skin.

“You need to always go commando, ’kay?” Magnus ground out between hungry kisses as his fingers closed around Alec’s thick shaft.

Alec’s response could barely be classified as a verbal one, but it was sexy all the same. He began pumping his hips so he was basically fucking Magnus’ hand.

“No more fucking buttons,” Alec snapped between kisses as he pushed Magnus shirt off his shoulders. He shoved the fabric to Magnus elbows but didn’t force it any farther since that would have meant Magnus needing to remove his hand from Alec’s dick.

_A fact Magnus was extremely grateful for._

Magnus began stroking his hand up and down Alec’s cock as he moved against Magnus. Alec’s fingers were trying to work Magnus’ pants open but with Magnus sitting, it was a difficult task. Alec growled in frustration, then dragged Magnus off the table. Although there was no doubt in his mind that Alec was in charge of what was happening between them—and Magnus was fully okay with that—he had no clue what possessed him to do what he did next.

Instead of remaining standing so Alec could presumably get his pants open, he slid to his knees and before Alec could stop him, he took Alec’s cock into his mouth. Alec let out a string of curse words as Magnus swallowed him down. His fingers slid into Magnus’ hair, gripping it hard, but he didn’t pull Magnus away like Magnus was expecting. Instead, Alec held him in place as he pulled his hips back, then slid forward. Magnus moaned as Alec’s length caused him to gag. Tears stung the corners of his eyes, but Magnus dared not let him see them for fear he’d stop what was happening. And Magnus didn’t want him to stop.

To his surprise, Alec gripped his chin with one hand and lifted his eyes even as he continued to slide his flesh in and out of Magnus’ mouth. “Do you like that?” Alec demanded to know as his eyes held Magnus’.

The shame Magnus expected to feel wasn’t there. While George had been the first and only man Magnus had ever had full-on sex with, he’d given head to a few guys in his days before George. Although he’d enjoyed the act, he’d hated when the men he’d been with had turned it into something ugly. Some had called him degrading names during the act, leaving him feeling humiliated and ashamed. It had taken a long time to not feel that same level of shame with George, so he couldn’t fathom why it wasn’t there with Alec even a little bit. Magnus managed to answer his question with a nod.

Alec’s gaze was intense as he watched Magnus take his entire length down his throat. Magnus could no longer hold the tears back as his gag reflex kicked in, but he still fought to accept every inch of him. Alec held there for the briefest of moments, giving Magnus all of him, before slowly pulling back. He stroked the tears on Magnus’ cheek as he gave him a second to catch his breath, then he was sliding his pulsing cock into Magnus’ mouth once more.

“Beautiful,” whispered Alec as he continued to use Magnus’ mouth in the best way possible. The reflexive tears caused by the gagging turned into something else entirely as Alec thrust in and out of Magnus over and over again, praising him all the while.

While Alec’s glides into his mouth were slow and smooth at first, it didn’t take long before he was increasing the pace. His fingers tightened in Magnus’ hair as he threw his head back and began grunting. He was hot and heavy in Magnus’ mouth and Magnus did everything he could to make him come.

But before Magnus could protest, Alec pulled his slick cock out of Magnus’ mouth and yanked Magnus upright. He kissed Magnus hard before turning Magnus around and laying him gently face-first down on the worktable. The smooth treatment only heightened Magnus’ need. As Alec yanked at Magnus’ pants, Magnus shoved his ass backwards in the hopes of feeling Alec’s hardness against him.

Alec growled as he shoved Magnus’ jeans and underwear down. Then his big hands closed over Magnus’ hips and he rubbed his dick along the curve of Magnus’ backside. Alec’s heavy weight pressed down on his back as he asked, “Is this what you want, Magnus?”

The head of Alec’s dick slid between his crease and glided over his hole.

“Yes, please. Yes, Alexander!”

Alec’s fingers slid into Magnus’ hair so he could turn Magnus’ head and capture his mouth with his. “Who do you belong to?” he practically snarled as he began pumping his dick up and down the length of Magnus’ crease. Magnus desperately wanted to reach for his own cock to give it some relief, but Alec had him pinned in a way that he couldn’t even manage to get a hand between his body and the table. Magnus was completely and totally reliant on Alec to get him off.

“Who?” Alec demanded.

“You!” Magnus happily agreed. “I belong to you, Alexander,” Magnus cried out. “Please, Alexander I need you.”

Alec kissed Magnus hard, then he reared back. Even as he straightened, he continued to rock his hips against Magnus’ ass, keeping him on edge. Magnus folded his arms so he could press his forehead against them instead of the rough surface of the table while he waited. Magnus tried not to overthink things as he heard foil tearing behind me. But when Alec’s lube-slicked finger pressed against his hole, Magnus’ nerves got the best of him. Despite his efforts to remain silent, because he really did want what was about to happen, Magnus must have made some kind of sound because Alec stopped what he was doing.

“What?” Alec bit out.

Magnus shook his head quickly as the desire he’d been feeling began to turn cold. “N-Nothing,” Magnus blurted. “I’m-I’m fine.”

Magnus did his best to calm himself, but when Alec didn’t move, a crushing wave of disappointment washed over him.

Crippling self-doubt followed.

Magnus tried to reach down to pull his pants up as he murmured, “Maybe this wasn’t—”

Before he could finish the sentence, Alec’s arm wrapped around his chest from behind and then he was pulling Magnus upright so his back was pressed to Alec’s front. He sealed his mouth over Magnus’, swallowing the rest of his words. His kiss was all-consuming… demanding. His still-hard, condom-covered cock pressed against Magnus’ ass and he could feel cold lube on his chest as Alec held Magnus against him. By the time Alec released his mouth, Magnus was squirming desperately against him and his dick was bouncing against the back of the hand Alec had pressed against Magnus’ lower abdomen.

“I would never hurt you,” Alec growled against his mouth. He was angry.

_Really angry._

But Magnus also heard something else in his voice.

_Hurt._

It made no sense, but Magnus knew that was what it was. Magnus shook his head. “No, that’s not why—”

“Then why?” Alec asked, his voice softening somewhat.

Magnus reached up to cover the hand Alec had on his chest. He dropped his eyes to look at their fingers. Alec’s were thick and strong and calloused. A tattoo covered most of the back of his hand and more spread through his upper arms. Conversely, Magnus’ hands were brown and smooth and delicate looking.

They were so different, yet when Magnus ran his fingers over Alec’s, there was no missing the tremor that ran through Alec’s body… much like the one that always went through Magnus’ when Alec touched him.

“I don’t want to disappoint you,” Magnus said softly as he continued to study their hands. “I’ve only ever had sex with one man.”

Alec kissed him again, slow, long and deep. When their mouths separated, he moved his lips to Magnus’ ear and kissed the shell of it before whispering, “You won’t disappoint me. You can’t. Even if this is all we do…” He kissed Magnus again but this time it was soft and sweet. “Not possible,” he said in that blunt way of his.

The soft kisses quickly turned hungry and desperate. Magnus reached behind him to grab Alec’s naked hips as he began to rock against Magnus once again. Alec chose that moment to close his hand around Magnus’ cock, causing him to cry out into Alec’s mouth. Magnus grunted and groaned as he both kissed Magnus and fisted his dick. It took only minutes to have Magnus squirming helplessly against him as the coil of need inside of Magnus began to tighten more and more. Alec’s lubed dick was still notched between Magnus’ ass cheeks, so Magnus reached between them to search him out. Alec moaned into his mouth when Magnus fisted him. He gave Alec a few pumps before guiding him to his hole.

“I have to get you ready,” Alec ground out against Magnus’ mouth even as Alec pushed against his entrance.

“I want it like this,” Magnus muttered. Then the sensation of Alec’s crown breaching him stole his breath, so Magnus couldn’t tell him how much he’d always craved the burn of being penetrated without much prep.

Of course, that had been with George’s cock and he hadn’t been as thick or long as Alec.

His entry hurt like hell, but Magnus held out for what he knew would follow. Thankfully, Alec didn’t linger as he worked his way past the outer ring of muscle trying to keep him out. When Magnus’ body finally gave up the fight, he shouted in relief as Alec’s crown notched inside of him. The pain as his body struggled to accept the invasion quickly turned to something more.

Alec’s mouth searched out Magnus’ as he held himself in place to give Magnus time to adjust to him. Magnus reached up to wrap his hand around the back of Alec’s neck as they kissed. Magnus didn’t need to tell Alec when to move again. He seemed to already know. It was a slow process of give and take, but when Magnus felt Alec’s balls press against his ass, he wanted to shout for joy.

God, how he’d missed this exact moment. The warm body at his back, the soft lips at the nape of his neck, the thick flesh inside of him that made him feel just a little less empty.

“Alexander,” Magnus breathed as he closed his eyes and tried to take in all the sensations that were bombarding his body.

Alec still had one hand on Magnus’ dick which he began moving as he pulled out of his body and then slowly slid back in. Magnus cried out in pleasure as electricity sparked beneath his skin. Between the cock spearing in and out of him and the rough hand matching that same pace on his dick, the coil inside of him began to build and build on itself at a frightening pace. Magnus tried to focus on anything other than the pleasure in the hopes of staving off his release, but when Alec grunted in his ear and then gently placed him down over the worktable, Magnus knew he wouldn’t have to.

With one hand on Magnus’ hip and the other surrounding his cock, Alec began working every part of Magnus over. His thrusts in and out of his body quickly turned rough and frantic. The friction of his dick shuttling in and out of Magnus left him dizzy with the need to come. The table beneath him began to rattle as Alec fucked him harder and harder. Magnus was completely at his mercy and he loved every second of it. It wasn’t until Alec’s free hand moved from his hip to his mouth that Magnus realized his cries of pleasure were letting his neighbors know how much he was loving the rough ride.

Alec’s weight covered his back as he began desperately humping Magnus as he seemingly tried to get deeper and deeper with every forward thrust. His grunts matched Magnus’ as they each sought their release. Alec replaced the hand over Magnus’ mouth with his lips. Their tongues melded with each other in a dance that was just as frantic as the one happening between their lower bodies. Alec dropped his free hand to cover Magnus’ on the table and then he was rutting into Magnus like an animal. Pots and gardening tools began falling off the worktable as the steam from their hot breath began fogging up the windows in the shed. Incoherent pleas for relief began falling from Magnus’ lips between kisses and sweat started to drip off his body.

Magnus was sure he couldn’t go on any longer when Alec suddenly tightened his grip on Magnus’ shaft and frantically stroked him. As desperate as he’d been to come, the orgasm still hit him out of nowhere. “Yes, right there. Yes, God, please!” Magnus shouted. Alec slammed his mouth down on Magnus’ to swallow down the rest of his screams of pleasure. Magnus’ entire body exploded as he came. Hot semen sprayed over his belly and chest as stars danced behind his closed eyes. Alec grunted against his mouth and then he shoved in hard and deep, pushing Magnus onto the balls of his feet. His fingers gripped Magnus’ on the table as his body jerked and thrashed against Magnus’. His dick pulsed inside of him, making Magnus curse the condom that was keeping them from truly being one.

Alec’s orgasm caused one aftershock after another to rock Magnus’ body and by the time Magnus sagged against the table in complete surrender, Alec’s body was the only thing keeping him upright. Magnus groaned every time Alec jerked inside of him, signaling that he too was experiencing heavy aftershocks of pleasure.

Magnus couldn’t say how long they lay bent over the table for, but by the time Alec straightened and slowly slid free from him, rain was beating against the window of the almost too-hot shed and the fading sunlight was leaving behind an orange glow. Fabric rustled behind Magnus. He told himself he needed to move but he was still too physically exhausted.

Problem was, Magnus’ mind wasn’t at all tired. In fact, it was busier than ever.

And that wasn’t a good thing.

Several questions kept replaying on a loop in his head.

_Did I really just get fucked senseless in my garden shed while all my neighbors were going about the business of sitting down to dinner?_

_Had I pleased Alec?_

_If so, when could we do it again?_

_Where could we do it again?_

It was the silence around him that finally snapped him from his reverie. The silence that obliterated all his other questions and left him just one.

_Why isn’t he saying anything?_

Magnus somehow forced his jelly-like limbs to respond to his commands to move. His body hurt everywhere as he straightened, but it was the sting in his ass that had him wanting to smile.

But he couldn’t… not with that question still unanswered.

“Alexander?” He made the mistake of saying before he’d turned around. Because as soon as he did, as soon as Magnus saw him with his back to Magnus and his clothes already in place, Magnus knew the answer to the question.

Magnus felt sick to his stomach. _This_ was a moment he _was_ very familiar with. While he’d never had any of those awkward “walk of shame” times with George, there’d been plenty of them with some of the guys he’d performed oral sex on. In those days, the guys hadn’t been able to get away from him fast enough.

Just like Alec couldn’t get away from him fast enough now… the only difference was that he wouldn’t be spouting some kind of stupid excuse about needing to deal with something at work or having an early morning meeting or whatever.

Magnus glanced around the shed at the path of destruction Alec had created in his efforts to get him to the table. He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Magnus didn’t give a shit about the mess, though. He was too busy wallowing in the fact that this gorgeous man had wanted him so badly that he’d literally let nothing stand in his way.

And now he couldn’t get away from Magnus fast enough.

_God, I was such a fool._

_Of course_ _it had just been about sex. What else was it supposed to have meant?_

_Had I really been expecting undying declarations of love and devotion?_

“You should probably get going,” Magnus murmured as he reached down to pull up his pants. There was semen all over his belly, but he didn’t care.

Alec didn’t move.

He also didn’t look at Magnus.

Magnus wanted to throw up.

“Simon will be bringing Madzie home soon,” Magnus lied. In reality, Simon wouldn’t be back with his sister for several hours. But Magnus was a desperate man. “He’ll probably have Jace with him,” Magnus added.

Alec seemed to flinch when Magnus mentioned his brother’s name.

Since he couldn’t bear to watch Alec walk away, Magnus turned his back to him as he zipped and buttoned his pants. Magnus’ torn shirt was on the floor at his feet, so he reached down to scoop it up. That was when Magnus heard footsteps. As he straightened, he closed his eyes. Magnus hated the silent prayer he sent heavenward asking for those steps to get louder instead of softer.

_They didn’t._

It was all he could do to hold back his tears of disappointment when he heard the shed door open and then close. He took his time pulling his shirt on. By the time he turned around, he thought he’d gotten past the hope that despite evidence to the contrary, Alec had stayed.

But he hadn’t gotten past it.

Just like Alec hadn’t stayed.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Alec didn't need to look in the direction of the door to know who was coming through it when it opened. None of the other residents of the apartment building ever came up to the roof and there was only one person in his life who knew that if he wasn't on the job or following yet another useless lead on the whereabouts of Victor, that he would be in the northwest corner of the building’s highest level. While his apartment building wasn't much to look at and the units were more functional than pretty, the building had a great view of the Hudson if you knew where to stand.

"God, I hate when you do that," his brother said from behind him. Alec glanced over his shoulder at him, then down at the narrow ledge he was standing on.

"It's the best view," Alec murmured.

Jace shook his head. "Here," he said as he held out the white bag in his hand. He made no effort to approach the ledge.

"Breakfast for dinner again?" Alec asked when he noticed the name on the bag. It was from a little diner near Jace’s apartment. From the time he’d been a little kid, all Jace had ever wanted to eat had been breakfast foods. Didn't matter what time of the day it was, when given the choice, he happily ate a bowl of cereal or a plate of pancakes in lieu of something else. To this day, he still kept more eggs and bacon in his refrigerator than he did steak and potatoes.

"Turkey on wheat, no mayo, and lots of those weird sprout things you like so much."

Alec gave the water one more quick look before stepping down from the ledge and making his way to Jace. "Thanks."

As he dug into the bag to get the sandwich, he watched his brother look around the roof. When his eyes landed on Alec’s sleeping bag, Alec waited for the inevitable lecture. But Jace surprised him when he said, "You know what will make you get used to sleeping in a bed again?" He shifted his attention back to Alec. "Having someone in it with you."

Even though Jace and Alec both knew he wasn't being serious, Alec couldn't help but conjure up an image of lying next to Magnus in his big bed, Alec’s arms wrapped around him. He'd fit against Alec perfectly. Just like they'd been a perfect fit in the shed…

Alec inwardly cursed as the same restless feeling that had been plaguing him in the week since he'd walked out of that shed returned. It had been his nonstop companion of every minute of every day since he'd turned his back on Magnus. Even now, Alec wanted nothing more than to push past his brother and return to the quiet little house on Maple Street.

The turkey sandwich tasted like sawdust in his mouth, but he forced himself to eat the thing. Jace made his way to Alec’s sleeping bag and knelt down next to it. Alec didn't need to see his face to feel his disappointment. Jace wanted him to adapt to civilian life. Maybe he figured it would be proof that Alec was getting back to being the man he was so sure he’d once been.

"Aren’t you eating?" Alec asked, more to distract Jace than anything else. Alec had absolutely no desire to have a conversation about his mental health with his kid brother. Jace hadn't actually ever straight out said Alec was suffering from some kind of mental trauma after what had happened to him, but he'd hinted at it a few times.

"No, I ate already. Simon and I had dinner before he went to meet with his dad."

Alec’s gut clenched at the mention of Magnus. "Something going on?" Alec asked as casually as he could.

Jace rose to his feet and then returned to where Alec was standing. He shrugged and said, "Simon is telling his father he no longer wants to run the family business. Si was pretty upset about it." Jace’s concern for his lover was written all over his face.

"Why doesn't he want to run it?" Alec asked.

"Because he doesn't enjoy it. Magnus built the business from the ground up and always talked about Simon running it when he retired. Simon didn't want to let him down."

"Magnus loves his kids," Alec said absently. It wasn't until he noticed Jace look at him strangely that Alec realized he was making an observation that he shouldn't have had the knowledge to make since he’d supposedly only met Magnus briefly the night of the attack on him and his family. "That was pretty clear the night of the shooting," Alec added as smoothly as he could. "I'm sure he just wants Simon to be happy."

Jace paused and held his gaze. Alec forced himself not to look away because Alec knew what he was doing. He was trying to read Alec. Jace finally nodded and said, "That's what I told Simon. But he and Magnus have always been really close. All they had for a long time was each other."

Alec didn't miss Jace’s implication. Simon and his father weren’t the only ones who’d depended on each other to survive. Alec’s thoughts shifted to Magnus again. Even though he was certain Magnus would only want what was best for his son, Simon's decision meant Magnus would have choices of his own he'd need to make.

Would he go back to running the business himself or entrust it to someone else? Maybe he’d sell it. Alec didn't really know anything about Magnus's financial situation, but when Jace had been researching Simon in an effort to get close to him, he'd mentioned that both men were financially well off. Magnus didn't seem to live an extravagant lifestyle, but he could be the type who wouldn’t want to lose control of something he’d created. A strange need to get to him as soon as possible came over Alec, though he didn't know why. It wasn't like he knew how to be a sounding board for someone. And even if he did, it wasn't like he could just walk back into Magnus’ life and force him to confide in him.

Even if by some miracle Alec managed to undo the damage he had undoubtedly caused by walking out without so much as even a goodbye, he wasn't sure that was what he wanted. The goal had been to fuck Magnus out of his system. Alec desperately wanted to believe that had happened, but the fact that he spent every evening hidden in the shadows of the man's backyard just so he could watch him move around the house was proof that Magnus was still under his skin. He didn't even want to think about what that could mean. As he’d watched him these past several nights, Alec told himself to just walk into his house and take him again. And then again.

Anything to end his fascination with the man.

_Hell, who was I kidding? It had never been about fascination._

He had been and still was…..an **_obsession_** _._

_My_ _obsession._

"Alec, Mom called again. She said Dad doesn't have much time left."

"Good," Alec said simply before walking around Jace and heading for the access door that led to the stairs.

"I'm going to go say goodbye."

It was all Alec could do not to lose it then and there. “Fine,” Alec responded, ignoring the hurt that felt like it was piercing his very soul.

“I want you to come with me.”

“No.”

“You won’t even consider—”

“No,” he repeated. Alec thrust his hands into the pockets of his jeans to keep them out of view. It didn’t matter because by the time he reached the access door, Jace was there and his eyes immediately went to Alec’s pockets.

“Does it help? Hiding them?” he asked as he motioned to Alec’s hands. “Because it makes me feel like shit.”

Alec sighed and pulled his hands out of his pockets. “What do you want, little brother?”

“I want you to stop thinking I’m somehow choosing them over you. I want you to understand that I need closure… that I need to let go of that part of my life… of _our_ life.”

“Fine,” Alec responded. This time, he couldn’t keep his eyes on Jace’s. “I have to go.”

“Where?” Jace asked sharply. “Where do you have to go, Alec?” Not surprisingly, he didn’t give Alec time to answer him.

Probably because he knew Alec wouldn’t.

“Walking again?” he bit out. “I know you’re not chasing after Victor because if you had a lead on him, any lead, you’d already be gone. Since you sleep for shit, I know you’re not going to be doing that tonight. That leaves walking around the city. Again.” Jace’s voice softened a bit, the anger replaced by hurt. “Do you know what it does to me, Alec? To know my brother would rather lose himself night after night in a city full of strangers than spend even a few hours with me just watching TV or having a beer or whatever?”

Alec wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say because denying it would just make him a liar. He _did_ avoid spending one-on-one time with Jace. But that had nothing to do with Jace and everything to do with himself.

Alec’s silence did nothing to help the situation because Jace’s face fell.

Jace tore his eyes from Alec’s. He seemed to not know which direction to look. Jace nodded briefly, but it wasn't a nod of agreement. It was a nod of resignation. Alec opened his mouth to say something, anything that would keep him from pushing his brother further and further away, but no sound came out.

"I should go," Jace mumbled and then he was turning on his heel and leaving.

Acid burned at Alec’s throat. He wanted to call out to Jace. But at the same time, he didn't. It made no sense. No fucking sense at all.

Alec turned around and stalked back to his ledge. As he climbed onto it, he tried drawing in several deep breaths and focusing on the tall buildings overlooking the still water. But the restlessness, the helplessness inside of him continued to build. He dropped his eyes to the street below and watched as people went on about their daily lives. Part of him hated them for it. The other part of him just wanted to disappear among them.

Alec turned and stepped off the ledge with the intent of making his way down to the street and losing himself among the rest of the city goers who would have no idea there was a ticking time bomb among them. By the time he stepped out onto the sidewalk, he knew he wouldn't be doing any walking and he knew it wouldn't be a group of strangers that he lost himself in.

As he climbed into his car and pulled away from the curb, he told himself over and over again to drive to one of the many gay bars around town that he'd frequented in the past when looking for a quick and easy hookup. But fifteen minutes later, it wasn't the front of a trashy building he was looking at, but rather a quaint little house with a literal white picket fence and window boxes full of flowers.

He drummed his fingers on his steering wheel as he told himself over and over again to just turn the damn car around. But his body refused to obey his brain's commands. He got out of the car and quietly shut the door, then leaned against the car and just took in the sight of Magnus’ house. It was well after nine o'clock in the evening and he didn't see any cars in the driveway or in front of the house, so he could only assume that Simon wasn't at the house. He parked a good hundred yards away from the house, so he wasn't able to see anything through the windows, but it didn't really matter because the front of the house wasn't his ultimate destination.

It took just minutes to work his way to the back of Magnus’ house. As with every time that he entered the backyard, the gate wasn't locked. It was definitely something Magnus and he would need to talk about.

_Talk about? Really, Alec? You think he's about to talk to you again?_

Alec ignored his inner voice and closed the gate behind him. He began to move to the spot along the fence that he knew would best conceal him but still offer a decent view through the kitchen windows when he noticed the back door.

It was wide open.

A terrifying chill went through him as he automatically pulled his gun from the back of his pants and hurried across the lawn.

_Please let them be okay. I'm not too late. I'm not too late._

He silently repeated the mantra over and over again as he entered the house and began clearing each room. Images of Magnus’ lifeless body had him ignoring protocol as he checked the small house. He disregarded potential hiding spots like closets and instead made his way to the bedrooms. Stark relief hit him hard when he glanced into Madzie's room and saw the little girl asleep beneath her covers. But it didn't last. He rushed the remaining distance to Magnus’ bedroom. Like the kitchen door, the bedroom door was wide open. Bitter cold settled in his belly as he got closer and closer to the room. He was actually afraid to put one foot in front of the other.

_Please._

_Please._

When he reached the door, he held his breath and forced himself to follow his training as he entered the room. But the second he cleared the door and saw Magnus sitting on the edge of his bed, it was all he could do to not collapse on the floor in a heap of relief.

Although he looked unhurt, Magnus wasn't moving as he stared at the floor beneath him. Alec looked all around the room but saw no threat. There was no evidence that anyone had been in it.

He made his way farther into the room and just for safety's sake, he checked Magnus’ bathroom to make sure no one was hiding there. By the time he came back out, Magnus was watching him. He was clearly unsurprised by Alec’s presence. Alec didn't know what to make of that until Magnus said, "Don't ask me about the door, Alexander. Just… don't say anything at all."

A dozen things hit Alec all at once. His comment about the door had Alec realizing that Magnus had left it open on purpose.

_For me._

And if Magnus didn't want Alec to say anything that meant he wasn't interested in a conversation about what Alec was doing there or what had happened between them the last time they'd seen each other.

While he seemed confused, Magnus also seemed resigned and Alec understood that. It should've made him feel better to know that Magnus was going through the same thing he was… that even if Magnus _wanted_ to keep him at arm’s length, he couldn't. Just like Alec hadn't wanted to come to this house but had anyway.

Alec should've been glad that Magnus didn't want to analyze what was happening between them. But he hated seeing him so broken and confused. Magnus looked exactly like how Alec was feeling. That was unacceptable to Alec, but he didn't know how to fix it.

But Alec knew that he could make it go away for a little while.

For both of them.

Alec moved closer to him, depositing his gun on the nightstand. When he stepped between Magnus’ legs, Magnus let out a rough breath. Like he'd been holding it for a really long time. His hands came up to rest on Alec’s hips, but they didn't stay there long. His palms slid up Alec’s sides, pushing the hem of his shirt up in the process. Alec got the silent message and reached behind him to pull the shirt over his head. The sensation of Magnus’ warm hands on his skin had goosebumps prickling his flesh.

Alec expected Magnus to go for his pants or maybe just stand and start kissing him, but to his surprise, Magnus leaned forward and pressed the side of his face against Alec’s abdomen and just held it there. His arms went around Alec’s waist. The intimate embrace should've had Alec eager to find a way to end it, but he found himself reaching a hand out to stroke over Magnus’ hair instead. They stayed like that for the longest time. It was Magnus who made the first move after that. He turned his head and skimmed his lips over the flat of Alec’s belly.

Alec closed his eyes and took in every detail of the soft lips worshiping him. He expected Magnus to work his way south, but to Alec’s surprise, Magnus rose to his feet instead. His eyes met Alec’s and then Magnus’ fingers were coming up to smooth over Alec’s face. It was like he was trying to memorize Alec’s every feature.

"Makes no sense," Magnus whispered softly, and then his mouth was on Alec’s.

And to Alec, it was like… _coming home._

All that cold, dark, empty space inside of Alec just went away like it had never been.

He returned Magnus’ kiss as he wrapped his arms around him and drew Magnus flush with his body. Electricity fired through Alec’s nerve endings as the familiar need inside of him grew and grew. He threaded his fingers in Magnus’ soft hair and gripped him gently as he took control of the kiss. Magnus moaned into his mouth, giving in to him without hesitation. It took next to no time for Alec’s body to go from zero to one hundred. Alec managed to keep his mouth on him as Magnus began plucking at his shirt. To Alec’s surprise, there were no buttons to release. Alec tore his mouth from Magnus so he could look at his shirt. Sure enough, it wasn't a dress shirt. It was nothing more than a simple polo shirt.

His eyes jumped to Magnus’ as he remembered what he’d told Magnus the last time he'd undressed him. Alec told him ‘no more buttons’. Alec knew he was probably placing too much weight on the idea that Magnus might have deliberately chosen a shirt without buttons, but Alec didn't really care. It took just seconds to divest him of the fabric and then Alec was dragging him back into his arms. Magnus kissed him eagerly as his hands roamed along Alec’s back and then down to his ass. He rubbed Alec through his jeans first, but then his hand slipped beneath Alec’s waistband and brushed over his skin. Alec should've been pulling his hand away because he'd never let any guy touch him there, let alone do anything else. Alec was strictly a top and no guy had ever questioned that.

"Is this okay?" Magnus breathed against his mouth.

Alec found himself nodding before he could even give it much thought. The fact was, Alec wanted to feel Magnus’ hands everywhere.

Magnus’ mouth covered Alec’s as his hand slipped into Alec’s pants so he could run his palm over his ass. Heat coiled in Alec’s belly as Magnus massaged him. It was nothing more than that, but it might as well have been. Thankfully, Magnus would have no way of knowing what all of it was doing to Alec on the inside. All the questions that his touch was forcing to the surface.

Since Alec didn't have any answers for those questions and he most certainly wasn't interested in exploring them, he focused on the things he did know.

"I need you, Magnus" Alec growled as he reached for the button on Magnus’ jeans.

"Yes," Magnus responded and then his fingers were on Alec’s pants. They frantically worked to undress each other. The second they were naked, he walked Magnus backwards until his legs hit the bed and then they were falling onto it. Their hard cocks brushed against each other as Magnus wrapped his legs around Alec’s waist. As much as Alec would've liked to go slow, his need for Magnus was too much.

"Hurry, Alexander," Magnus said as he reached between their bodies and began fisting Alec’s dick. “Lube—nightstand."

Alec hated that he had to let him go long enough to rip open the drawer on his nightstand and find the lube. He automatically began searching for condoms in the drawer but found nothing. "Condoms?" Alec asked.

Magnus didn't respond at all, so Alec turned his attention back to him. Magnus was watching him with hungry eyes, so Alec asked, "Do you have any?"

He shook his head.

"I have one," Alec said as he made a move to get off the bed so he could get his wallet which was in his pants. But Magnus grabbed his wrist, drawing Alec’s attention back to him.

"There hasn't been anyone since George. Are you… have you been tested recently?"

Disbelief mixed with excitement and confusion. Was Magnus actually asking him to fuck him bare? Was Alec actually considering it?

Hell yeah, he was. He shouldn't have been, but he most definitely was. He'd never been with a guy without a condom before. Not only wouldn't it have been safe, but it would've sent a message he hadn't been interested in sending.

He settled his body back down on Magnus’. "I got tested last month. Haven't been with anyone since. Besides you," Alec murmured before he kissed him deeply. "Are you sure?"

Magnus’ hand was toying with the hair at the nape of Alec’s neck. "I'm sure," he whispered and then Magnus was kissing him again.

Magnus’ fingers drifted over his and then he was taking the lube from Alec’s hand. He let Magnus take control of getting them both ready as Alec focused on enjoying every second of having Magnus’ perfect body wrapped around him.

_How had I gone an entire week without this? Without him?_

Alec was afraid to think about what any of it meant.

He shifted when Magnus’ hand slipped between their bodies. "Fuck," Alec grunted when Magnus’ fingers closed around his shaft. Alec dropped his head to the spot where Magnus’ neck met his shoulder. The man was turning him into an addict for his touch. He knew exactly how much pressure to exert and he found all of Alec’s most sensitive spots as if he’d been exploring Alec’s body for a lifetime. Magnus’ thumb swiped across his crown. Alec knew he was leaking pre-cum like a sieve. The idea that he would soon be leaving proof of his need for Magnus inside his body had Alec covering Magnus’ mouth with his and reaching down between them to push his hand away. Alec wiped some of the lube from his cock against Magnus opening before pushing the head against it.

Magnus’ hands went to Alec’s back as he wrapped his legs around him, lifting his hips in the process. As frantic as Alec was to get inside of him, he knew he needed to go slow for fear of hurting Magnus. It was a nearly impossible task considering how hot and tight he was when Alec began to slowly slide into him. Magnus grunted and whimpered as inch after inch of Alec’s shaft disappeared into his tight body. By the time Alec’s balls brushed up against his ass, Magnus was begging him to move. To fuck him hard and fast and deep.

The feeling of being inside him bare was heaven and hell. Heaven because it felt so damn good and hell because Alec knew he wasn't going to be able to hang on for long. Even now, all Alec wanted to do was empty himself inside of him. He covered Magnus’ mouth with his, drinking in every sound Magnus made as Alec thrust into him. Magnus’ fingers curled into Alec’s hair, gripping him tight. His other hand scraped down Alec’s back and then gripped his ass hard. Magnus’ nails digging into his flesh sent a clear message. Alec gathered Magnus up in his arms and held him close to him as he started to shove into him hard, rocking his hips off the bed. The new angle let Alec go in even deeper. He experimented with a few different glides into his body until Alec found what he was looking for. The second his cock hit his prostate, Magnus cried out his name.

It was the most perfect sound Alec had ever heard in his entire life. And he wanted to hear it more and more.

He fucked into Magnus hard and fast like he wanted, but Alec made sure to hit that gland every single time he drove into his body.

"Yes, God, please, yes!" Magnus cried. He was frantic as he moved beneath Alec, trying his best to get the relief he so desperately needed. His nails scraped up and down Alec’s back and over his ass. Alec couldn't wait to see what kind of marks he was leaving on him.

"Do you want more of me, Magnus?" Alec snarled.

Magnus seemed unable to speak, so he frantically nodded his head.

"Say it! Say my name!" Alec demanded. He had no clue why he needed to hear it so badly, but he did. Maybe it was because Alec needed to know that Magnus knew it was him above Magnus, in him. With other guys, Alec had never cared if he was just a placeholder for someone else, but the idea of Magnus pretending Alec was his beloved George was unacceptable to him.

"Oh Alexander! Please, Alexander, make me come!"

The sound of his name on Magnus’ lips made Alec swallow down the rest of Magnus’ pleas as he covered his mouth. He slammed into him over and over, nailing his prostate again and again. Alec was about to reach between their bodies so he could get him off, but Magnus jerked beneath him before Alec could and then he was calling Alec’s name again as he came. Jet after jet of hot cum splashed against Alec’s belly as Magnus’ inner muscles clamped down on Alec’s dick. And Magnus orgasm triggered his.

Alec’s entire body exploded as the coil inside of him snapped. Pleasure radiated out to all of Alec’s nerve endings as his balls gave up the battle. He curled himself around Magnus’ body as he began coming inside of him. Impossible heat bathed Alec’s cock as he continued to thrust into Magnus. The orgasm seemed to go on forever, especially since Magnus’ aftershocks continued to trigger his own. Alec couldn't say how long he continued to jerk and spill inside of Magnus, but by the time it was over, he could do nothing more than lay there wrapped in Magnus’ arms as he pressed soft kisses to the side of Alec’s neck and caressed the nape of it in that sweet, drugging way of his.

When his body finally began to come back to itself, it took every ounce of energy Alec had to lift his weight off of Magnus enough that he could pull his softening dick from Magnus’ body. The sight of his own juices on his shaft was like a whole new orgasm. Alec couldn't take his eyes off of it.

Until Magnus let out a little breath of air.

He was still lying on his back, completely exposed to Alec. It was his flexing hole that caught Alec’s attention. Specifically, the thick white fluid that was seeping from it.

Alec didn't know what possessed him to do it. Never in a million years was it something he had ever wanted to do or even considered. But the sight of his essence leaving Magnus body drove him to heights of possessiveness that he didn't even know he had. Alec shut down the part of his brain that said what he was doing was wrong, that it was too much, and leaned in to swipe his tongue along Magnus’ crease. Magnus gasped and then let out a moan as Alec licked his opening, collecting the semen that was there. Alec then moved up Magnus’ body and closed his mouth over his before he could protest.

But he didn't protest.

In fact, he kissed Alec eagerly, drinking down every drop of Alec that he fed him. Only after the bitterness on his tongue had dissipated and was replaced with the sweetness of Magnus’ kisses did Alec finally release his mouth. But when he pulled back just a little, Magnus’ fingers closed around Alec’s biceps, holding him in place. Magnus eyes pinned him. All the softness that had been there was gone, and in its place was a level of defiance that threatened to get Alec hard all over again.

"If you leave like you did the last time, Alexander… don't bother coming back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #Obsession_fic


	5. Chapter: 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys
> 
> 1\. Wow, I cannot believe this brings us to the half way mark. You guys have made my journey thus far absolutely UNBELIEVABLE.
> 
> 2\. So, I'm going to be travelling for work for the next few days and would probably not have the time to write AND edit during this week and since there are a few people who actually like this story and wait for updates, I figured I would rather work on this over the weekend and post 4 days earlier instead of even 1 day late cos I didn't want to let anyone down. I will still try to get Chapter 6 out by the end of next week though.
> 
> 3\. There are a few people who send shout-outs on TWITTER about this story and I just want to say that you guys render me speechless EVERYTIME. And if you are willing, please DM me your names cos I would really like to send out a personal 'THANK YOU' to you here and please don't worry, I won't reveal your twitter handles. I just want you to know how much your love and support means to me.

Despite steeling himself for Alec's reaction to his ultimatum, it still hurt like a son of a bitch when Alec stood and turned his back on Magnus. Part of Magnus wanted to call back his words and just beg him to stay, but the other part refused to break. Magnus was already dealing with a cacophony of emotions about the decision he’d made to invite Alec back into his bed, but there was no way he was going to go through the same hell he'd experienced after Alec had walked out of that shed without a word.

Magnus supposed he should've expected him to leave, but a little bit of him had held out hope that maybe Alec would stay. Magnus held his tongue as he pulled on his pants. He could still taste Alec in his mouth. Heat crawled into Magnus’ cheeks as he thought about what Alec had done. It should've appalled Magnus, but he loved every second of it. He loved that in addition to feeling Alec’s essence still deep inside of him, Magnus could now taste it on his tongue as well. He only hoped that he'd be able to remember everything about it after Alec was gone.

Since Magnus couldn't stand to watch Alec go again, he climbed off the bed and stepped past him to go to the bathroom so he could clean himself up. Magnus bypassed the bathtub and went to the shower to get it started, then stepped back and closed the shower door so the water could warm up. Magnus let out a startled gasp when he turned around and ran right into Alec’s huge, naked chest.

"Are you that eager to get rid of the proof of what we did?" Alec asked angrily. Before Magnus could even respond, Alec reached past him, opened the shower door and turned the water off.

"I'm not the one who started getting dressed five seconds after we finished…"

"Fucking?" Alec asked. The word should've sounded ugly, but when he said it, all it did was remind Magnus of how amazing what they’d just done had been.

Magnus began to turn around so he could get the shower started again, but Alec grabbed his arm to stop him and then pressed his back against the glass door. It felt cold against Magnus’ hot skin. Alec pressed his entire body along the length of Magnus’. The sensation of Alec’s jeans against his naked skin had Magnus’ dick trying desperately to stand to attention again.

"This is why I'm dressed," Alec said as he looked down between their bodies. Magnus followed his gaze and saw that Alec was already hard again… or maybe _still_ hard, Magnus wasn't sure. Either way, the sight had Magnus’ mouth watering and his mind wondering if it was time to start thinking about little blue pills in his near future. "I assumed you wanted to have ‘the talk,’" Alec said. "These jeans are the only thing that might make that a possibility." He nipped at Magnus' lips and added, "Unless you want to take care of round two right now?"

To say Magnus was tempted was an understatement. He ended up stealing a heated kiss before he could stop himself. Magnus hated the vulnerability that went through him. 

Magnus closed his eyes as realisation dawned on him. That was why Alec had turned his back that day in the shed too.

"So, you weren’t going to leave?"

Alec kept shifting his gaze from Magnus’ mouth to his eyes. He finally shook his head. But he didn't say anything else.

Magnus figured it was the best he was going to get.

"Alexander," Magnus began, but then he caught Alec’s reflection in the mirror behind him. "Oh my God!" Magnus gasped as he took in the scratches running down Alec’s back and over his…

Shame spiralled throughout Magnus’ entire body as he took in the damage he'd done to Alec’s beautiful skin. "Alexander, God, I'm so sorry," Magnus stammered as he shook his head in disbelief.

Alec glanced over his shoulder at the reflection. When he looked back at Magnus, he seemed genuinely confused. "For what?"

"The scratches. I didn't realize—"

That was as much as Magnus got out because Alec chose that moment to kiss him. Hard and deep. By the time they came up for air, Magnus was panting and he knew the little blue pills wouldn't be necessary because even now, his cock was rapidly thickening.

Alec’s hand settled on Magnus’ backside. His finger pressed against his entrance. "Can you still feel me inside you?" Alec asked gruffly.

Magnus wasn't sure if he was talking about if he could figuratively still feel Alec’s cock buried deep in his ass or his question was more literal and he wanted to know if any of his semen remained inside Magnus, but either way it didn't matter. Magnus’ answer was the same for both questions. "Not enough."

Alec’s eyes were bright with fire. He pulled Magnus aside and reached into the shower to turn the water back on. Then his mouth was on Magnus’ again. "My pants," he growled. Magnus quickly got them loose and then Alec was stepping out of them. Magnus forgot all about the things he needed to say to him, the questions he had, as he pulled Magnus into the shower with him and kissed him as the hot water sluiced over their bodies. Alec’s hands caressed every inch of him as his mouth made love to Magnus’. Within a matter of minutes, Magnus was on the verge of begging for relief.

That was when Alec turned him around and pressed him up against the glass wall of the shower. His big body stepped in behind Magnus’. Alec’s lips sought out his neck, then his shoulder. Magnus could feel Alec’s hand at his ass, but he wasn't touching him. Magnus had a feeling Alec was stroking himself. It wasn't until something hit the floor that Magnus realized what he was doing. Magnus looked down to see his shampoo bottle rolling across the wet tile. A moment later, Alec’s cock was pushing into his body. It registered that he'd used the shampoo as makeshift lube. If Magnus hadn't been so desperate for him, he probably would have joked with him about using his very expensive, specially made, sandalwood shampoo in such a way. In any case, it provided enough slickness to get him inside of Magnus. When he was fully seated, Magnus let out a cry of relief.

"Open your eyes," Alec growled in his ear. Magnus hadn't really even realized they were closed. "Look at yourself!" he demanded, his voice gruff.

Magnus thought Alec meant for him to look down at his own hard length, but he repeated the command and added, "See what I see." It was then that Magnus realized he was talking about the mirror across from the shower. It offered the perfect view of the two of them. Magnus pressed up against the glass and Alec’s big body behind him. Magnus didn't even recognize himself. He'd always been somewhat comfortable with his body and his looks but seeing himself now was different somehow. _He_ was different. He looked well-loved. He looked…

He looked like he was exactly where he belonged.

Alec chose that moment to pull out of him before thrusting deep once more. Magnus cried out in ecstasy, watching his reflection as he did so. If Magnus hadn't known the man in the mirror was Magnus himself, he would've envied him. He would've envied the wildness in his eyes, the hard press of his fingertips against the glass, the rock-hard cock that was flushed with colour.

Magnus tried to keep his eyes open as long as he could as Alec fucked him, but it was impossible. There was just too much of that incredible sensation to deal with. Magnus’ ass stung as Alec pummelled him, but the burn quickly turned to an almost unbearable pleasure. Alec had him completely pinned, so he could do nothing but stand there and take it… take _him_. He grunted in Magnus ear as his pace quickened and his lunges became more frantic. Magnus was only dimly aware of the pleas that began to fall from his lips… the ones for relief.

When Alec reached around Magnus to grip his dick, Magnus pressed his forehead against the arm he had folded in front of him. Magnus ended up shifting his gaze back and forth between their reflection in the mirror and Alec’s hand on his shaft. He was fascinated with the expressions that passed over Alec’s features as he pounded into him. As detached and distant as Alec always seemed during the few conversations they'd had, Alec’s expressions were so very different when they were having sex. It was like he forgot that he had to hide from Magnus.

It took just minutes for Magnus to feel the orgasm reaching its breaking point. On the one hand, he didn't want it to end, but on the other, Magnus couldn't stop reaching for that perfect relief that would make him forget about the real world for a while. Sex with Alec had become like a drug to him. All it had taken was one hit and he’d been a goner. He had no idea how he would survive it if this was the last time he got to have Alec like this.

Alec's hand quickened on Magnus’ dick as he began slamming into him hard enough to push him up onto his tiptoes. Magnus had nothing to hang on to, so he wrapped his left arm around the arm Alec had braced against the glass. Magnus turned his head and pressed his mouth against Alec’s forearm as the orgasm built and built. There was the slightest shift in Alec’s angle as he drove into Magnus. He hit Magnus’ prostate on the next thrust and that instantly sent Magnus crashing over the abyss of his release. He bit down on Alec's arm as he came. Alec shouted at the same time as he drove into Magnus and began filling him with jet after jet of cum. By the time it was over, Magnus was shaking and barely able to breathe and the only thing holding him up was the man behind him. He released Magnus’ cock and wrapped his arm around Magnus’ waist to hold him in place as aftershocks ripped through both of them with violent force. When it was finally all over, his softened dick slipped from Magnus’ body. But he didn't let Magnus go, which Magnus was thankful for because he would've ended up on the floor in a heap.

Alec stepped them both backwards so the spray of water hit them. Magnus expected Alec to just keep them there, but to Magnus’ surprise, he sat down on the little stool he kept in the shower and then turned Magnus around and pulled him onto his lap so Magnus was facing him. The warm water gently pelted Magnus’ back and slipped over his sore ass. Magnus dropped his head on Alec’s shoulder because he was too tired to keep it upright.

They ended up staying there for several long minutes. It was only when the water started to cool that Alec rose, forcing Magnus to do so as well. Things turned awkward as they got out of the shower and began drying themselves off. As Alec pulled his pants on, Magnus donned the bathrobe he kept on the back of the bathroom door. "I need to go check on Madzie," Magnus said. He wanted to ask Alec not to leave, but unlike the last time after they had sex, Magnus was feeling unbearably vulnerable.

He ended up leaving the bathroom and hurrying out of the bedroom without saying a thing. He went to Madzie's room to make sure she was still asleep. Magnus tried not to listen for any sounds like the front or back doors opening, but in reality, that was _all_ he was really listening for. After making sure Madzie was settled, Magnus returned to his room, not sure what he'd find. A ridiculous amount of relief went through him when he saw Alec’s shirt still on the floor by the bed. The man himself was standing by the window that overlooked the backyard.

"I'm not looking for a relationship," Alec said without turning around.

The words weren’t a particular surprise, but the fact that they stung, was.

"And I don't want to be a one-night stand," Magnus responded.

Magnus swore he saw the slightest stiffening of Alec’s shoulders. He had his hands clasped behind his back, much like the stance of someone in the military. It wasn't the first time Magnus had that thought, but a lot of things had changed since the day he'd first met this man. It might've only been a couple of weeks, but it felt like much longer. His eyes roamed over Alec’s back. The scratches he'd left on him were still there, but they didn't seem as pronounced anymore. Magnus stepped closer to him so he could see for himself how badly he’d damaged his skin, but as he got closer, it wasn't the marks _he'd_ left behind that caught his attention.

Alec was covered in marks. Not just marks, but scars. The majority had the same size and shape. The skin was raised and puckered, so the wounds clearly hadn't been stitched. There were maybe a dozen of the marks, mostly clustered in the centre of his shoulders. Magnus found himself reaching up to touch one without even thinking to ask if it was okay. Alec flinched at the contact, but he didn't pull away. Magnus traced the length of one of them. "What happened?" he asked softly.

He didn't answer. Magnus thought he wasn't going to, so he dropped his hand and began to turn away.

"I hadn't figured it out yet," Alec responded, his voice barely above a whisper. Magnus almost didn't recognize it because he'd never heard him sound so unsure and vulnerable before.

"Figured what out?" Magnus asked as he stepped back to him and carefully moved so he was standing by Alec’s side. Despite the change in his voice, his jaw was set and hard and nothing about his stance had softened in the least.

"There was this point when he'd be too drunk to aim his belt. It took me a while to learn how to steer clear of him until he got to that point. As long as I stayed quiet enough, stayed out of his sight enough, he’d focus on drinking and he’d eventually be too far gone to get in a clean shot." Despite the vulnerability Magnus heard, there was little emotion in his voice as he described the cause of the scars. Magnus felt sick to his stomach as he looked at them again.

He remembered what Alec had said about his father when he’d been telling Magnus that the man had often gone after Jace. “Your father did this to you?”

Again, there was no immediate response. But this time Magnus remained where he was and eventually Alec nodded.

"How old were you?"

Alec shrugged. "Old enough to know there'd be a day when I'd be able to hit back."

"I'm so sorry—"

"I didn't tell you because I wanted your pity. I told you because you asked." His voice was firm, but not harsh. Magnus suspected it was more about him trying to both protect himself but not hurt Magnus in the process.

"You said he hurt Jace too.”

For the first time, Magnus saw an obvious reaction. Alec swallowed hard and closed his eyes. He nodded again before saying, "I couldn't always be there to protect him. I would tell him to stay in his room, but he was like me when I was little. He wanted to believe."

"Believe what?"

"That he was immune. That the fists our father used on other people would never be used on him. When it did finally happen for the first time, Jace thought it was his fault. That he provoked it somehow."

Even though Alec was talking about Jace, Magnus couldn't help but think that maybe it wasn't just Jace who'd had those feelings about their father.

"But he knows now that it wasn't his fault, right?" Magnus asked carefully. "That nothing he did warranted that kind of behaviour?"

Alec didn't say anything at first. When he did respond, he actually turned to look at Magnus first. "He wants closure," he murmured. "Jace. He told me tonight that he wants to go see the bastard so he could say goodbye to him before the cigarettes finish him off."

"Your father is dying?"

He nodded and then turned his attention back out the window.

"You don't understand why Jace wants to see him before he's gone," Magnus offered.

"He's always been too forgiving, too trusting," Alec muttered.

"Maybe it isn't about forgiving him," Magnus suggested. "Maybe it's about letting go of something that he’s held on to for too long. Maybe it's about not letting the past define his future."

Alec was quiet for a moment and then he looked at Magnus. Magnus expected him to argue the point or at least disagree with it, but Alec caught him completely off guard with his next question.

The question Magnus wasn't prepared to answer.

"Is that what you did? With George?"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

"Fuck,” Alec snapped, but he was directing the curse at himself. He had to be the stupidest man on the planet. Jace was right, He really did lack the filter most people had when it came to being sensitive to others. "Sorry," He managed to get out as he started to move past Magnus. Alec never wanted to see that look of hurt in his expression again. If the only way to do that was to not stick around and ask him incredibly cruel questions about the man he’d obviously loved a great deal, then that was what needed to happen.

"No, wait," Magnus said as he grabbed Alec’s arm.

"I shouldn't have asked that," said Alec. It was all he could do not to rip his arm from Magnus’ grasp.

"You asked it because it's something you want to know." Despite Magnus’ words, his voice was lanced with hurt.

"That doesn't make it right," Alec returned. "You want to know why I don't talk much, Magnus? _This_ is why. Because I say the wrong thing. Because I think the wrong thing. Usually, it doesn't matter because Jace is the only other person I've ever given two shits about and he's used to the way I am, but you're not."

Alec tried again to move away from him, but Magnus’ grip was firm. "You said your brother’s the only other person. _Other_."

Alec inwardly cursed because he hadn't realized the implication of what he'd said. But clearly, Magnus had. Or at least he thought he had. Alec could easily derail the whole thing by telling Magnus he'd misunderstood him, but the lie refused to pass Alec’s lips. For once, so did the truth.

When Alec didn't say anything, Magnus eased his grip just a little, but not enough to release Alec entirely. His voice sounded less pained as he said, "What's that saying? Do as I say, not as I do? Yeah, I do use what happened to George to keep from having to move on. I guess not letting him go all these years has been the only thing that's made it possible to hang on. And I guess being able to focus my anger on Hodge and the other police officers who failed George meant I never really had to accept it. I turned George into a cause. But worse, I let my hate and anger rub off on my son… on _George’s_ son."

Magnus released Alec and stepped away. Alec felt the loss immediately but Magnus only went so far as his bed and then sat down on the edge of it. His eyes found a spot on the floor between his feet and stayed there.

"I hardly ever talked about George after he died. Even to Simon, I hardly talked about his dad. I didn’t even sit him down and explain how George died. He actually found out about what happened to George when he googled him one day. I guess he could always sense how much pain I was in over losing George. And I could sense Simon’s pain too. But instead of focusing on how George lived, I fuelled Simon’s pain with my own anger and resentment. And I guess, that’s why I’ve been so hung up on George even after all these years. I never really took the time to properly mourn him cos that would have meant letting go. And Simon’s been so good".

Alec went to sit beside Magnus on the bed. "You have an amazing son, Magnus. The fact that he makes my brother as happy as he does is a testament to what a good man he is. He got that from you."

Magnus discreetly dashed at his eyes and nodded. He paused for a long moment before adding, "Simon told me today that he doesn't want to run the business anymore."

"I know. Jace told me."

"I had no clue he was so unhappy. How did I get so caught up in my own life that I couldn't tell that my child wasn't happy?" He shook his head. "You hear all about parents who push their kids into things they never wanted to do and it seems so obvious and you think you’ll never be like that. Then you find out that's exactly what you _are_ like—"

"I don't believe that for one second," Alec snapped. He forced himself to take a breath before adding, "Just like I don't believe that Simon would want you spending even one moment feeling guilty about how things turned out."

Magnus let out a harsh laugh. "That's what he was most upset about. Hurting me."

"Like I said, he's a good man. Like his father."

Magnus looked at Alec with watery eyes and smiled. "Thank you, Alexander."

"You don't have to—" Alec began.

"And thank you for fixing Madzie's window." Magnus lifted his eyebrows knowingly and added, "And for taking care of the leak beneath the kitchen sink. And for replacing the light bulb in the garage. And for doing whatever you did so Madzie's bedroom door doesn't squeak anymore when you close it."

Alec could feel the heat rising in his cheeks as Magnus listed off all the little things he'd done in the past week after letting himself into Magnus’ house while he and Madzie had been gone. Alec knew Magnus had notice Madzie's window, obviously, but he hadn't figured on Magnus realizing he had returned multiple times to take care of other things as well.

"WD-40," Alec murmured.

"I don't know what that means, but thank you," Magnus said with a small laugh.

Alec found himself smiling. "It's like lube, but for hinges and stuff."

This time, Magnus was the one who was blushing. Alec had no doubt Magnus was remembering his creative use of the shampoo in the shower. Desperate men and all that…

"How did you know I was here tonight?" Alec asked.

"You’ve been here every night for the past week," Magnus responded. "I took a chance that tonight would be no different."

"You knew I was here?"

Magnus nodded. "I didn't see you, but I knew you were out there hiding in the shadows of my backyard."

"Why didn't you say something?" Alec asked.

"Why didn't you just come in?" Magnus shot back.

They both fell silent. "Why did you open the door tonight?" Alec finally found the courage to ask.

"Probably for the same reason you came over. I didn't want to be alone."

"So, what do we do now?" Alec asked. "I know I need to stop this, but I can't. I _won't_."

The admission was a tough one for him to make, both because it exposed his vulnerability and because he was admitting that Magnus had a hold on him that Alec couldn't control, that he wouldn't control.

"I'm not asking you to stop."

His words caught Alec off guard and he found himself jerking his head in Magnus’ direction. "I told you, I don't want a relationship."

"And I told you I didn't want to be a one-night stand. But I'm not asking for a ring on my finger, Alexander. Just don't ever walk out on me like I'm not even worth saying goodbye to."

Alec leaned in and palmed Magnus’ cheek before admitting something that he hadn't been willing to even admit to himself. "I knew that day in the shed wouldn't be goodbye, Magnus. I was just having a hard time accepting that because once with you should have been enough, but it wasn’t. Just like twice wasn’t enough." Alec kissed him softly before adding, “And three times…”

With that, Alec closed his mouth over Magnus’ and when Magnus kissed him back, Alec knew the time for talking with words was over, which was a good thing because Alec had been on the verge of admitting a very dangerous truth that he wasn’t ready to face.

There was no such thing as “enough” when it came to Magnus Bane.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

It became a frighteningly familiar routine over the next two weeks.

Magnus’ days were spent doing normal dad things like getting Madzie up and ready for her day, driving her to her various therapy sessions, and spending time with her at school as she continued to recover from the fear of what had happened with Sebastian several weeks earlier. Magnus’ nights, every single one of them, were spent in Alec’s arms. Granted, he never actually slept in them, but he wasn't complaining. The man was insatiable when it came to sex, but it turned out that Magnus was too. They'd spend hours every night having incredible sex and then Alec would ultimately leave and Magnus would try to sneak in a few hours of sleep before starting the day all over again.

And before he started counting the hours until he saw Alec again.

Alec and Magnus were seemingly both getting what they wanted. What was happening between them most definitely wasn't a relationship, because the majority of it was spent in bed. Or in the shower. Or on his bathroom floor… Or any of the other dozen places in his room that they'd lost themselves in one another as his daughter had slept just a few doors down the hall. And Magnus had gotten what he wanted because Alec always kissed him goodbye before he left. At least when he was awake, anyway. There had been a few times when Magnus had nodded off as they’d both been recovering from their mutual orgasms and he’d found himself waking up the next morning alone with no memory of Alec leaving, but still feeling strangely content in the knowledge that he hadn't just walked out on Magnus.

So it wasn't a real relationship, but it wasn't just a hook-up either. Alec continued to do little things around the house, either while Magnus was gone during the day or during those nights when he'd fallen asleep before Alec left. Sometimes it was as simple as a loose drawer handle getting fixed and other times it was more complicated like the locks on Magnus’ doors being changed. In either case, Magnus had to believe that Alec wouldn't be taking the time to make sure he and his daughter were both comfortable and safe if Alec was only interested in having sex with him.

Ironically, when Alec installed the new door locks, he didn't keep a key for himself, even though Magnus suggested that he do so. No, he continued to pick the locks every day to let himself in. When Magnus pointed out the fact that he still seemed to have no issue getting into the house, he'd merely winked at Magnus and said that he was the only one who would be able to get in. His blatant arrogance had made Magnus smile. Still, Magnus had decided to make things easier for him one day by leaving the back door unlocked for him. Alec had been beyond pissed at him for risking his and Madzie's safety. That, in turn, had gotten Magnus riled up and they'd ended up having their first semi-fight since they'd started sleeping together. They had to do the whole thing in hushed whispers since Madzie had been asleep, but the making up part had all been worth it. Angry sex with Alec was just as incredible as every other intense encounter they'd ever had together.

After two weeks, the novelty of being with Alec should've worn off. But if anything, it only intensified. When Magnus wasn't with him, he was thinking about him. His curiosity about Alec’s past grew and grew the more time they spent together, but he knew that the topic was off-limits. And, of course, that just made Magnus wonder why he was so adamant about not wanting to be in any kind of relationship. Not that he thought they could actually have one. Magnus was still convinced that Alec just had some weird infatuation with him, maybe because Magnus was older or because they were so very different, so Magnus did his best not to envision a future with Alec.

_Easier said than done._

There were two aspects of Magnus’ life that he wasn't ready to let Alec be a part of, even if he'd shown any interest in them. First off was Madzie. Alec hadn’t had any kind of interaction with Magnus’ daughter since the night of the attack and Magnus planned to keep it that way. Madzie was already struggling with the trauma from what Sebastian had done to their family, and he wasn't sure if Alec would be some kind of trigger for her. Magnus was also very protective of his daughter’s feelings and while he thought Alec was a good man, Magnus had no idea how he'd react around a child, let alone one with her special needs. He hoped with all his heart and soul that Alec would be like his brother when it came to Madzie, but Magnus knew it was a tall order, especially since Alec and Jace had such different personalities.

While Magnus knew that Alec would never intentionally hurt Madzie, he also knew that he likely wouldn't be as patient and tactful when it came to a little girl. Jace was a natural when it came to interacting with Madzie. The younger Lightwood brother had a much more easy-going nature and was quick to laugh and smile. He was an open book when it came to his feelings for Simon, whereas Alec's feelings and emotions were locked behind a vault that was guarded by a fire-breathing dragon that had broken the key into a multitude of pieces before swallowing it.

The other aspect of Magnus’ life that Alec couldn't be a part of pertained to Jace and Simon. Magnus felt beyond ashamed for lying to his son and his boyfriend about what was going on between him and Alec. Granted, Magnus knew that Simon didn't need to know the details of his sex life, but to Magnus a lie of omission was still a lie. If it had been any other man in his life, he likely would've told Simon because he knew his son would've supported him. But the fact that he was sleeping with his boyfriend’s older brother, a man who was still much younger than him, was a slight complication. Fortunately, since it was only a physical relationship that had to eventually die a natural death, Magnus could still justify his silence on the matter.

"Dad, are you here?" he heard Simon call from the front of the house.

"Back here!" yelled Magnus.

Madzie's computer voice began saying, "Simon! Jace!" 

It’s been an amazing piece of technology. The gift that Simon got Madzie. All she had to do was type out or choose a picture of what she wanted to say and a communication board would read out her words.

"Hang on, Sweat-pea," Magnus called to Madzie before stepping from the sink to the table. Madzie moved closer to Simon and Jace with a slight smile and bright eyes. Magnus followed her to the living room and smiled as Simon, then Jace, bumped fists with her.

"Did you get it?" Madzie asked excitedly through her computer. Although his daughter wasn't able to speak on her own, there was no missing the excitement in her voice, even if it was a computer-generated one. It had taken Madzie a long time to learn to use the communication board that was linked to her computer. Magnus was beyond grateful for the technology that allowed his daughter to look at images on a board and have a computer relay those words to the people around her. 

"I got it," Simon said before he pulled what looked like a DVD from his messenger bag.

"Are you kidding me?" Magnus said when he saw what movie it was. "Si, she's not old enough—"

"Am!" Madzie said. "Please. Will not get scared. Not like you."

Magnus eyed his youngest. "Excuse me?" said Magnus with pretend irritation.

Madzie did her lopsided, sheepish smile. " _Frozen_ , Dad."

"Hey," Magnus protested. "That ice monster was scary!"

Both his kids began laughing. Jace was smiling but when Magnus looked at him, he put his hands up. "I agree with you. I almost peed my pants when Anna, Kristoff, and Sven were being chased by those wolves."

"Thank you," said Magnus to the young man before turning his attention back to his two giggling children. " _Jurassic Park_ is a far cry from _Frozen_."

"But it's the original," Simon said as if that would somehow explain everything.

"Yes," Madzie chimed in. "Dinosaurs, Dad. Please."

"The dinosaurs eat people, Madzie."

"We've got that covered, Dad," Simon said. "Everybody take your positions."

Magnus watched in amusement as Jace, Simon, and Madzie moved to the living room. Jace lifted Madzie and settled her on the couch before he and Simon sat down on either side of the little girl. All three looked at the black screen of the TV before Simon suddenly yelled, "Dino dining!" With that, Simon covered Madzie's eyes with his hands while Jace covered her ears. Magnus found himself laughing when Simon called, "Dino done!" after a few seconds and all three resumed their normal positions.

"See?" Simon said.

"See?" Madzie mimicked after Jace held up the communication board for her.

"Okay, fine," Magnus said. "But no begging to come to bed with me tonight, young lady," Magnus warned Madzie. "And who's going to cover _my_ eyes?"

It was at that moment that the front door opened after a brief knock. Magnus’ heart nearly stopped at the sight of Alec. What was he doing there so early? Magnus began to panic and try to come up with some explanation for the man's presence when Simon said, "I'm sure Alec will protect you."

"What?" Magnus croaked. "Why would he… I don't know what you're—"

"I hope you don't mind that my brother invited me to tag along for movie night, Mr. Bane," Alec said to Magnus, his voice steady and even.

"What?" asked Magnus, completely confused.

_Why the hell was he calling me Mr. Bane?_

_And why was it turning me on?_

"It's fine, right, Dad?" Simon said. "The more, the merrier when it comes to family movie night, right?"

"Yeah, right," Magnus somehow managed to get out. "You're always welcome to join us. I'll, um, go put the pizzas in."

Magnus was sure at that moment that everyone in the room knew exactly what was going through his head, but only one pair of eyes stayed on him. Magnus shot him a quick glance and then hurried to the kitchen. Magnus heard footsteps behind him a moment later, but when he turned around to confront Alec, it was Jace that he came face-to-face with.

"Oh, it's you," Magnus said stupidly.

"Yeah, I was going to grab everyone some drinks, if that's okay," Jace said.

"Absolutely," Magnus responded. "There’s soda for whoever wants it and there's a few beers in there for your brother… and you… and Simon."

_Jesus, why couldn't I get control of my mouth?_

"Thanks," Jace said before heading to the fridge. As he rifled through it, he said, "I'm sorry about not asking you ahead of time if Alec could join us. We stopped by his apartment to drop off some paperwork before coming here and Simon offered for him to join us."

"Not a problem," Magnus responded as evenly as he could. "He's always welcome."

Jace let out a rough laugh. "I don't think anyone has ever said those words about him or to him."

Jace's voice sounded off somehow. Magnus mind went back to the last real conversation he'd had with Alec. He'd mentioned Jace wanting to see their dying father. Alec had been upset about it and Magnus couldn’t help but wonder if it was still a point of contention between them. He didn't know how to find out without setting off warning bells for Jace.

"Well, I'm happy to have all of you guys here. It will make Madzie's night." That part was true enough, though admittedly, Magnus was nervous about Alec and Madzie. He supposed there was a part of him that had been avoiding this meeting because he hadn't wanted to give up his relationship with Alec. If he treated Magnus’ daughter with even the tiniest bit of disrespect; that was exactly what Magnus would do. He wasn't particularly proud of the fact that he would've rather lived in blissful ignorance and enjoyed however many more reckless nights of abandon he could get out of the arrangement than face the truth of Alec's character, but it was what it was.

"You’ve got two amazing kids, Magnus. I know you don't trust me all that much since Simon and I got close quick and because of our association with Hodge, but I love Simon with everything I am. I promise to never give you a reason to doubt that, ever."

"I've seen the way my son looks at you, Jace. Your feelings for him have never been in doubt. Not in my mind and certainly not in his. You and I are good, son."

Jace swallowed hard and nodded before returning his attention back to the refrigerator. He seemed embarrassed, so Magnus didn't focus any more of his attention on him as he left the kitchen. But within seconds, his footsteps returned. "Did you forget something?" Magnus asked as he turned to smile at him. Magnus was greeted with firm lips settling over his and a familiar tongue sweeping into his mouth.

He groaned as Alec pulled him into his arms.

"I didn’t get to do that last night because _someone_ fell asleep on me," he murmured.

He kissed Magnus again before he had a chance to respond. It was the sound of the television turning on in the next room that reminded Magnus of where they were. He pulled free of Alec's hold and said, "What are you doing here?"

"Needed a bottle opener," Alec said as he held up one of the beers.

"It's a twist-off cap," Magnus said.

"So it is," Alec said without even looking at the bottle.

His intense stare had Magnus quivering and if they’d been alone, Magnus would've already been on his knees by now. Or his back. Whichever Alec preferred.

Magnus shook off the image of Alec taking him on his kitchen floor. "What are you doing here in the house?" Magnus asked. Not surprisingly, Alec didn't answer.

Simon calling from the next room made it so he didn't have to. "Come on, movie is starting, guys!"

"So is it true?" Alec asked softly as he pressed even closer to Magnus.

"Is what true?"

"You're not a fan of scary movies."

"You going to poke fun at the movie wimp too?" Magnus asked. He allowed himself a few precious moments to let his body sink into Alec’s.

Alec dropped his head and nuzzled Magnus’ neck. "Don't worry, _baby_ , I'll protect you," he whispered, then he pressed the softest of kisses against the spot where Magnus’ neck met his shoulder. He held there for a moment before gliding his nose up Magnus’ neck, inhaling softly and finally stepping back. He twisted the cap off the bottle of beer and tossed it into the garbage can in the corner of the kitchen. Then he was gone, and Magnus was left thinking only one thing.

_And just who was going to protect me from him?_

"Dino dining!"

As Simon yelled the phrase, he and Jace jumped into action to cover Madzie’s eyes and ears, eliciting a huge grin from her. His child's delight made everything in Magnus’ world right at that moment. But he had a feeling it wasn't _only_ because of Madzie’s innocent joy as her big brother and Jace made the entire movie experience a thousand times more memorable. No, Magnus was afraid that a good deal of his contentment came from the man sitting on the other side of the living room.

From the moment the movie had started, Magnus had been on edge that his relationship with Alec would get outed and ruin the evening for everyone, but if Jace and Simon had noticed anything odd about his interactions with Alec or, in this case, his lack thereof, they didn't make it obvious. There were no questioning or confused looks from either his son or his boyfriend. By the time the first character had been killed off in the movie, Magnus finally started to relax and now as the film was nearing its end, he was caught up in both the action on screen and the things that were happening off it, as well.

Mainly, the looks Alec would send him whenever his brother and Simon were focused on the television. They were looks of promise and more than once Magnus had to excuse himself on the pretence of getting more popcorn when, in fact, what he'd really needed to do was get control of his crazy libido. As much fun as he was having watching Madzie enjoy the movie she'd been waiting so long to see, Magnus was also watching the clock like a hawk. It was already slightly past Madzie's bedtime, so his hope was that she would start to tire quickly after the movie came to an end and he'd be able to get everyone out of the house and Madzie put to bed so the second half of his night could begin. From the way Alec was watching him from across the room, Magnus had to believe that his mind was on the same track.

"Dino done," Simon announced. Madzie's giggles quickly settled down as the action in the film picked up. Magnus found himself getting caught up in the final scene where the heroes of the story were running from the most dangerous of the dinosaurs, so he didn't notice anything amiss at first. When he happened to shoot Alec a quick glance, Magnus saw that he was staring at his cell phone. That, in itself, wasn't completely unusual, but when Magnus looked at Jace, he saw that he was watching Alec as well. And Jace did not look happy.

Magnus tried to focus on the movie, but kept finding himself looking back and forth between the two brothers. It seemed like there was some kind of silent argument going on between them, though Jace was clearly coming out as the loser. Simon began to notice as well, but fortunately, Madzie continued to focus on the film.

Suddenly, without warning, Alec stood and then he was heading for the front door without a word. His eyes were still glued to his cell phone.

Jace shot Simon a brief look and then he was climbing to his feet and hurrying after his brother. Simon, for his part, remained focused on his little sister. Magnus stayed where he was, even though all he really wanted to do was go after Alec and make sure he was okay. But he didn't have the right to do that. Despite the volume on the television, he could still hear raised voices coming from outside. Simon looked up at him, clearly concerned, but Magnus knew he wouldn't leave his sister’s side. Magnus used that as an excuse to get up and move across the room. As he made his way to the front door, he heard Jace say, "Alec, I’m asking you, for once, not to!"

By the time Magnus got the door open, Jace and Alec were no longer in conversation. In fact, Jace was making his way back up the walkway toward the house while Alec was heading to his car.

"Everything okay?" Magnus asked Jace as he reached the front door.

"Yeah," he murmured as he glanced over his shoulder at his brother. Magnus didn't believe his response for even a moment. Nothing about what was happening was okay. Jace stepped past Magnus and went into the house. Magnus knew he should've followed him, but as he watched Alec’s broad shoulders get swallowed up by the darkness, he had this weird sense of foreboding. He remembered the last time he'd said goodbye to George. He hadn't really said goodbye to him because he hadn't seen him that evening when he’d left for work. Instead of making an effort to get home to join his man for dinner, he'd stayed late at the office because he'd been desperate to climb the corporate ladder.

The idea of having this particular image of Alec being his last one was unacceptable to him, so Magnus pulled the door shut behind him and hurried down the walkway.

"Alexander," he called as he quickened his pace to catch up to him. But he didn't respond, which hurt.

It hurt like a motherfucker.

Magnus called his name again on the off chance that he hadn't heard him, but all Alec did was pause momentarily and then he continued walking. He didn't look over his shoulder at Magnus. He didn't say anything to him. He didn't do anything but get to his car, climb in, and drive away.

Magus told himself to pull his phone out and call him. To send him a text to make sure he was okay. But Magnus couldn't get his mind off that last moment. The one where he’d had the chance to talk to Magnus, to send Magnus a look telling him everything was okay, but hadn't.

Pain mixed with nausea in his belly as Magnus stood there staring at the receding taillights. As he turned and walked slowly back toward the house, he thought about what Alec had said about not being able to say goodbye to him after they'd had sex in his garden shed. He’d said it was because he'd known it wasn’t really goodbye. That being with Magnus the one time hadn't been enough. Magnus wanted to believe that was the case here, but deep in his heart he knew it didn't matter.

Because the reality was that he'd brought this moment upon himself. When Alec had confessed he didn't want a relationship, Magnus hadn't had the strength to admit that _he_ did. He hadn't even been willing to admit it to himself.

Just like he hadn't been willing to admit that he was well on his way to losing his heart for the second—and what he knew without a doubt would be the last time in his life.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so just remember, I love you ALL - ALOT.
> 
> Aaaannnddd, I'm kinda hoping my love declaration here would get me off the hook for this ending...
> 
> #Obsession_fic 
> 
> Come shout at me anyway... :)


	6. Chapter: 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys
> 
> 1\. Work is actually turning out to be way more hectic than I thought it would be and will continue for a while - but I wanted to get this chapter out like I promised I would. I may not be able to respond to comments right away but please do let me know what you think and I will respond as soon as I can.
> 
> 2\. There are a few people who give me really LOUD shout-outs for this story on twitter and I would like to thank them - Becky - Diana - Giulia - Juuli - Nikki - Seena - Simona - Sonja - Su -  
> If there is anyone else that I've forgotten, I will add as I go along.
> 
> 3\. There are also those who prefer to remain anonymous but please know that I love, respect and thank you ALL the same. AND to EVERYONE here.... You guys are ALL truly incredible. 
> 
> 4\. OK, so here we go...

Alec could easily say that few people ever got the jump on him. Raphael Santiago was one of those few people.

Alec was usually much better at noticing his surroundings, but needless to say, his thoughts were entirely focused on the occupants _inside_ the house rather than outside of it. The fact that his boss was lurking in the very shadows he often lingered in himself as he'd watch Magnus from afar was surreal, to say the least. By the time he had his gun drawn, Raphael was already stepping into the light. If he'd been an assailant, Alec would've already been dead and Magnus and Madzie would've been left completely vulnerable.

"I suppose you want me to apologize," Alec murmured as he returned the gun to his waistband.

"What is it exactly that you would be apologizing for?" Raphael asked. "Leaving without telling anyone where you were going? Staying gone for two weeks without so much as even a text telling your brother you were still alive?"

Raphael glanced at the house. "Worrying _him_ sick?"

Alec had expected Raphael to bring up the first two points, but the reference to Magnus caught him off guard. Alec’s immediate concern had him giving away more secrets than he intended to because at Raphael’s words, Alec instantly stepped forward, grabbed the man and barked, "What happened? Is he okay? Did something happen to Madzie?”

To his credit, Raphael didn't react either to the hold Alec had on his arm or his barrage of questions. But all that did was scare Alec even more. Alec dropped his hand and quickly hurried toward the house. "They aren't home," Raphael said.

"Where are they?" Alec asked as he turned back to face him.

"So is that how your relationship with him works?" Raphael drawled as he moved farther into the backyard. Alec felt this strange sense of possessiveness come over him when he leaned some of his weight against the side of Magnus’ little garden shed. "You get to know where he is every second of every day, but you're allowed to come and go as you please."

Alec wasn't as surprised as he probably should have been that Raphael knew about his relationship with Magnus but that was because Alec was too busy trying to control his anger. It wasn't so much the fact that Raphael was his boss, because truth be told, the job, while important to Alec, wasn't the be-all and end-all of his life. No, it was the fact that he was pointing out something that Alec was already feeling pretty shitty about. He'd tried to justify his silence in the past two weeks by arguing that communication with Magnus or Jace would’ve put them in danger as he’d pursued the lead he'd gotten on Victor, but he was tired of lying to himself. He'd fucked up. Plain and simple. He didn't need Raphael to dump his disappointment on top of all that shit.

"Does Jace know?" asked Alec.

"That you’re back or that you're sleeping with the man who will likely be his father-in-law someday?"

Alec automatically fisted his hands but when he shifted his eyes to the picnic table where Magnus and he had talked for the first time… _really talked_ , he felt some of the tension in his chest ease and he drew in a deep breath. He could still hear Magnus whispering in his ear.

_You don't need this, Alexander._

Magnus let him take his anger and fear and frustrations out on him that day in the form of sex, but he’d done so much more too.

"Maybe I'm just taking a move out of the Raphael Santiago playbook. How is it that you ended up marrying your dead fiancé's little brother again?" Alec asked. He instantly felt like an asshole as soon as the words left his lips. Alec didn’t know much about Raphael’s relationship with his much younger husband, but he knew the man was Raphael’s entire world.

There was no discernible proof that Alec had gotten a reaction out of him. In fact, all Raphael did was sigh. "You're a man who likes the facts, right, Alec? You don't like it when people beat around the bush. So let's do it this way. You want to keep looking on your own for the man who betrayed you, that's your business. But protecting my family is _my_ business. And like it or not, the moment you and your brother agreed to join my team, you became a part of that family. Now, I don't give a fuck if you want to be the bat-shit crazy, black-sheep cousin who lives in a hut in Timbuktu and wears a tin foil hat on his head, but you're still family. Just like your brother is family."

For the first time since his arrival, Raphael seemed to be losing a hint of the iron grip he had on his control. It made Alec envious of the man. If Alec had been him, he would've already kicked his ass for the dig about his relationship with his husband.

"That man in there"—Raphael pointed in the direction of the house—"may just be a casual fuck to you, but are you so certain he feels the same way?"

"Yes," Alec responded, even though he’d intended to keep quiet. But something about Raphael suggesting that his relationship with Magnus meant more than it did made Alec’s chest hurt.

After spending every night with Magnus for two weeks straight, Alec expected his need for Magnus to wane, but the opposite was true. He couldn't get enough of him. And worse, Alec was absolutely terrified that it wasn't just the sex that he couldn't get enough of. It had been getting harder and harder every night to leave Magnus all warm and content in his bed. There had been a few nights when Magnus fallen asleep before Alec had left and he’d found himself actually watching Magnus sleep like they were in some cheesy romantic movie or something.

If that hadn't been bad enough, when Jace and Simon had come to Alec’s apartment the night he abruptly left town and he learned they were going to Magnus’ house for movie night, Alec had all but invited himself to go with them.

And he loved every moment of that night. The only part that had made that familiar restlessness crawl beneath his skin had been the mere fact that he hadn't been able to touch Magnus like he'd wanted. Watching him enjoy his children had left Alec with a sense of longing he still didn't really understand. He'd been waiting eagerly for the hours to go by so he could get Magnus alone and show him how much he hated not being able to put his hands on him whenever he wanted, but then Alec’s phone had beeped and the present had ceased to exist. Alec had gotten nothing more than a vague location on a possible sighting of Victor from a random contact and that had been it. His entire brain had shifted and focused in on the hunt of extinguishing the threat to his brother and the people who were becoming a real family to him.

"Yes," Alec repeated firmly. There were a lot of things he wasn't certain about, but he knew one thing for sure. Magnus had feelings for only one man and that man wasn't Alec. Even if he'd wanted to, Alec wouldn't have known how to compete with George’s memory.

"Then explain to me why Magnus has been running Internet searches on you."

"What?" Alec asked in surprise.

"Not just on you, but on how to report a missing person anonymously."

Alec shook his head in disbelief. Had he really done that? Had Magnus tried to find out more information about him? Why? It made no sense. "How do you know all this?" Alec asked.

"You and I made a deal when you and your brother came on board. I'm keeping up my end. You may not want my help in finding the man who hurt Jace, but that doesn't mean I'm not looking. You and I both know that while you’re hunting Victor, he's hunting you. It's just a matter of who gets the upper hand first. I have Dot monitoring any searches related to you and Jace. Your name popped up on a Google search a couple of weeks ago. She traced it back to Magnus’ computer."

"Fuck," Alec muttered.

"Yeah," Raphael said, his voice full of irritation. "If she was watching, it's possible Victor was too. Dot did her best to remove the evidence, but there's no telling what Victor might've seen."

"Where is Magnus?" Alec repeated, his fear now a new, living, breathing thing. The idea that while he'd been out hunting Victor, he could've just as easily been hunting Alec and finding Magnus and Madzie, made Alec violently ill and it was all he could do not to empty the contents of his belly then and there.

"He’s safe. I have men on him. Him _and_ Madzie.”

"And Jace?"

"Your brother and Simon used my jet to fly to Miami a couple of days ago. I have men watching them, but Jace doesn't know about any of this yet. I figured it would be better coming from you. Of course, it's just a matter of time until he realizes I've got guys shadowing him and Simon. I suspect the only reason he hasn't already figured it out is because he's dealing with some heavier shit."

Alec nodded. He already knew why Jace had gone to Miami. That was where their parents lived. It was information overload and Alec had no clue where to start. The most important thing was that everyone was safe. At least for now.

"Where is Magnus?" Alec asked again. The helplessness he was feeling was doing a number on his head. He knew he needed to be satisfied with Raphael's word that Magnus and Madzie were safe, but he wouldn't believe it until he saw them for himself.

It wasn't that he didn't trust Raphael.

It was that he _needed_ Magnus. He needed to touch him and talk to him. He needed to hear his voice and see his smile.

Raphael stared at him for a moment and then reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He hit a couple of buttons on it and then put it on speaker.

"Yeah?" Alec heard a man say.

"Elias, do you have him?" Raphael asked.

"Yes. He dropped the kid off—"

"Madzie," Alec interjected. "Her name is Madzie."

Alec avoided the look of surprise Raphael shot him and kept his eyes on the phone. There was a brief pause and then Elias, a guy Alec knew more by reputation than anything else, murmured, "He dropped Madzie off at a classmate’s house. Looked like there was a birthday party happening or something. Bane is on the move. South of the city."

"Who's got eyes on Madzie?" Raphael asked.

Elias rattled off four names Alec didn't recognize.

"Let me know where Magnus is headed," Raphael said and then he disconnected the call.

"The guys watching Madzie … are they the best?" Alec asked. For the first time in his life, his knees felt shaky and he was actually afraid he wouldn't be able to support his own weight.

"Yes," Raphael said simply.

"Can Dot find Victor?” Alec asked next. As much as he hated the idea of asking for help, the stakes had changed. His actions had now jeopardized the lives of two completely innocent people. More than ever, he needed to make sure Victor was no longer a threat of any kind to anyone. His failure to find his former teammate had crashed head-on into his endless pursuit of Magnus and the result was Magnus and Madzie possibly never being able to go back to the life they'd known before Alec had come into it.

"She's got some leads she’s working on," Raphael said gently, which was a sign in and of itself. If his tech expert couldn't locate Victor, it meant Magnus would never be able to rest. He'd spend the rest of his life looking over his shoulder and cursing Alec as he did so.

Instead of the rage he'd relied on for so long to keep him moving forward, all Alec felt was complete numbness. Despite the helplessness that was firing throughout his body, there was still only one thing that he was one hundred percent certain of.

"Magnus. I need to get to Magnus."

Before Raphael could respond, his phone was beeping. "We have a location,” he said.

"On Victor?" Alec asked desperately.

"No, on Magnus. We know where he was headed." With that, Raphael handed Alec his phone so Alec could see the text for himself. As relieved as he was to know he was still safe, Alec was more than a little bit surprised to see where Magnus had ended up. He handed the phone back to Raphael and then hurried from the yard, making no attempt to conceal himself in the process. He had only one destination in mind as he reached the street and trotted across it to get to his car.

As he got behind the wheel and started the car, the same question began repeating on a loop in his head.

_Magnus, what the hell are you doing?_

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

It took a phenomenally long time for the door in front of Magnus to open. When he finally saw why, he felt a mix of relief and pain go through his chest. The little girl peeking through the open crack couldn't have been more than four or five years old.

"Hi?" she said with a soft smile.

"Hi," Magnus returned. "Is your daddy here?"

"Which one? I got three." The little girl held up three fingers as she spoke.

"Sierra, honey, what did Daddy Andrew tell you about opening the door without one of us?" Magnus heard a man say. A moment later he appeared in the doorway, his hand settling on the little girl’s shoulder. There was a beautiful golden retriever at the man's side. The dog thumped its tail when it saw him, but it didn't move from its position next to the man.

"Daddy Andrew is fussin’ over Daddy Hodge," the girl announced.

The man knelt down in front of the child and said, "Okay, honey, but next time come get one of us before you answer it.”

"Okay, Daddy." With that, the girl turned her attention back to Magnus and said, "Bye!" And then she waved her hand at him.

"Bye," Magnus called but she was already gone. The man in front of Magnus opened the door wider. Magnus guessed him to be in his early thirties. Magnus already knew who he was, though he'd never met him before. He had a long and complicated relationship with the Starkweather family. The man before him was Lorenzo Rey-Starkweather. His brothers, Dom and Vin, ran a security company that was well known in the New York area. Magnus’ investment firm had been using their services for many years. The complication had come into play when Hodge, the man who'd turned his back on George, had come out as gay and had begun a relationship with not only Lorenzo, but another man as well. The three of them were living together in what appeared to be an equal relationship. When Magnus learned that the man who'd turned his back on George for being gay had come out himself, it had been a cruel twist of fate. And if that hadn't been bad enough, Hodge and his two partners had gone on to have children of their own.

Complicated didn't even begin to cover it.

Magnus still couldn't believe he was standing on the man's doorstep, but he was beyond desperate.

_Two weeks._

Two weeks and not a single word from Alec. He'd tried hard not to care that he hadn't called or texted, but when Magnus learned from Jace that he hadn't heard from his brother either, Magnus’ anger and disappointment had shifted to something else entirely. He hadn't been able to question Jace the way he'd wanted because he would've given away too much about his relationship with his brother, so Magnus tried and failed to get that information on his own.

Magnus waffled back and forth between trying to not care what had happened to the man and making himself sick with all the different scenarios to explain his disappearance. The reality was that Magnus was desperate to know if he was alive or dead.

That desperation had landed him on Hodge Starkweather's stoop.

"Sorry about that," Lorenzo said. "She's at that phase where she wants to be the first one to answer the phone every time it rings or open the door as soon as she hears the bell. Sierra isn't exactly known for her patience. She gets that from her father."

It was on the tip of Magnus’ tongue to ask which father, but he managed to keep the question to himself. As it was, he was afraid of what would come out of his mouth when he finally did open it.

"Can I help you with something?" Lorenzo finally asked. Some of the friendliness had faded from his voice.

Probably because of Magnus’ own lack of social graces.

"I'm Magnus Bane," Magnus blurted, though that hadn't been what he'd wanted to say. He'd meant to ask to see Hodge. So much for thinking he was in control of himself.

Lorenzo stiffened and what little had remained of his smile disappeared instantly. Several things flashed in his eyes at once. Pity, nervousness, and ultimately, confusion. He stepped back and opened the door all the way. "Would you like to come in?" he asked softly.

No, Magnus really didn't. But he managed to nod and stepped forward.

He was greeted by the sound of a television playing. The little girl who'd opened the door for him came running down the hallway with what looked like the same kind of tube of yogurt that Madzie liked to eat.

"Five more minutes of TV, Sierra. And then it's bedtime."

"Okay, Daddy."

The child darted past them and disappeared into what looked like a den. It was the room where the TV was playing.

"Come on in," Lorenzo said cautiously as he stepped around Magnus and led him down the hallway in the direction Sierra had come from and they ended up in the kitchen. The trio lived in a townhouse rather than a single-family home, but it was spacious and bright. There were pictures everywhere and the refrigerator was covered in all sorts of children’s artwork. "Would you like something to drink?" Lorenzo asked.

Magnus shook his head.

An awkward silence fell between them before Lorenzo gently asked, "Did you come here to see Hodge?"

Magnus throat was thick with emotion. He hated the bitter regret that filled his belly. He’d hoped this would be easier. That he'd walk in the door and just be able to let everything go, but all the pictures of Hodge smiling with his family hurt like a son of a bitch. Magnus managed a nod and nothing more.

"Okay, I'll go get him," Lorenzo said softly and then he hurried off, the dog trailing behind him. Magnus wanted to turn tail and run. He wanted to not have to look at all the pictures that were proof of the happiness Hodge had found. He'd dreamed of having similar pictures in his house one day of himself, George, and their kids.

Magnus closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at the damning photographs. But all that did was make him think about the reason he’d come here in the first place.

He wasn't sure how much time passed before he heard heavy footsteps coming in his direction. When Hodge rounded the corner that led into the kitchen, he stopped and stared at Magnus as if surprised that it really was him standing in his kitchen.

Magnus wanted to tell him he was surprised that he was standing there too.

"Magnus," he said softly. His arm was in a sling, but otherwise he looked healthy. Magnus was glad when that made him feel relieved. He already felt like the biggest asshole on the planet for the bitterness his family pictures made him feel. At least he wasn't so far gone that he wished the man harm. And just seeing that sling reminded Magnus of how Hodge had jumped in front of Simon. The bullet that had torn through Hodge's shoulder would've hit Simon square in the chest if Hodge hadn’t done what he’d done.

The reminder of that night and the close call was the push Magnus needed to finally open his mouth.

"I need your help," Magnus blurted.

Hodge's eyes widened almost comically, but then he quickly got control of himself and nodded. "Please, sit," he said. "What's going on?" he asked as he eased himself into a chair. Despite his suggestion that Magnus sit, he couldn't. If he sat, he'd fall apart.

"I need to find someone. To make sure he’s okay. But I don't know how to do that." Magnus’ mind automatically went to the terrible image that had been haunting him for the past two weeks—Alec's body lying in a ditch somewhere, his lifeless eyes staring at nothing.

"Okay, to start we can file a missing persons report—"

"It's Alec," Magnus interjected before he could finish.

"Alec Lightwood?" Hodge asked in surprise.

Magnus nodded.

Hodge hesitated a moment before saying, "Have you talked to Jace —"

"No," Magnus said. "Not directly, anyway. It's complicated." Magnus began pacing the small kitchen. "I don't think Jace has heard from him. He didn’t come right out and say that when he and Simon were over for Thanksgiving dinner but…” Magnus found himself biting into his lip to try and get control of himself. “Alec left two weeks ago and no one has seen or heard from him since."

"Magnus—" Hodge began, his voice full of confusion.

The helplessness and frustration that Magnus had been feeling for the past two weeks spilled over in a horrific way. "Hodge, please, I just need your help. He told me that you guys know each other… that the person he works for knows you or something. I don't really know what kind of work he does, but I know it isn't just security. I just need to know that he's okay. I can't file a missing persons report because then my name will go on it and the police will talk to Jace and he'll find out…" Magnus shook his head. "Please, Hodge, I didn't know where else to go."

The chair scraped back, but Magnus couldn't bring himself to look up. He kept pacing, but eventually Hodge's feet came into view. He was only a handful of inches from Magnus, but thankfully he didn't reach for him or anything like that. He just stood there as he said, "Magnus, we'll find him, okay? I haven't met Alec directly, but you're right, I do know the person he works for. I also know that all the guys who work for that man know what they're doing and can take care of themselves. I'm going to start by making a couple of phone calls."

That had Magnus looking up at Hodge. "Jace can't know that I…" Magnus didn't know how to finish the statement because he hadn't actually told Hodge the truth about his relationship with Alec. Honestly, Magnus couldn't even remember half the things he'd said to Hodge during his outburst.

"He won't," Hodge assured Magnus. "Why don't you sit down?" He motioned to one of the kitchen chairs. Magnus forced himself to move to it and sit but it was hard to keep still. It brought back memories of dinners with his family when he'd been a kid. The silence had him on edge now as it had back then.

He jumped when Hodge appeared at his side and put a bottle of water on the table in front of him. He seemed startled by Magnus’ reaction. "Sorry," Magnus mumbled as he reached for the bottle. It would at least give his hands something to do.

He forced himself to take a drink of the water as Hodge moved back around the table and sat down across from him. It was hard for Magnus to keep his eyes on him, so he focused on the bottle in his hand instead.

"Magnus, can you tell me about your relationship with Alec?"

Magnus nodded but found himself unable to actually say anything after that.

"I take it that something happened between the two of you since the night of the attack?" Hodge said carefully.

Magnus nodded again.

"Were you with him the night that he disappeared?"

"Yes," Magnus managed to say. "He came with his brother and Simon to my house for movie night. He, uh, got some kind of text on his phone and then he just got up and walked out. He didn't say a thing."

Magnus heart thudded painfully in his chest. "Jace went after him and I heard them arguing, but I couldn't really make out what they were saying. I think Jace asked him not to do something, but I don't know what it was. Alec left anyway. I followed him to his car, but…" Magnus could feel tears stinging the backs of his eyes as he remembered how Alec hadn't even looked back when Magnus had called his name. Magnus reminded himself that the last person he should be falling apart in front of was Hodge Starkweather, but he was too raw to control his emotions anymore. There hadn't been a single person he could talk to about what was happening in the past two weeks and now that there was someone in front of him, it was like his mouth was moving of its own accord.

"Did you try to call him?" Hodge asked.

"Yeah. Our, um, relationship… it's not like that…" Magnus shook his head because he didn't know how to describe it. "It's casual," he finally managed to get out.

"Okay," Hodge said. "I'm going to make a couple of calls. Do you mind hanging out here for a few minutes?"

Magnus absolutely did, but he shook his head. No matter how awkward it would be, he'd sit there all night if it meant getting some answers about Alec. As Hodge got up, another little girl came racing around the corner. Magnus guessed her to be around two or three. Her hair was a riot of soft brown curls and she had a nightgown on that went from her neck to her toes. It was covered in stars and rainbows. There was a book in her hands that she immediately held up when she spied Hodge.

"You story, Dadda," she said. Moments later, another man came hurrying into the kitchen. He was a big guy with no hair and seemed to be about the same age as Hodge.

"Sorry, sorry," he said as he entered the room. "She got away from me." The man scooped up the little girl and added, "She used diversionary tactics." He grinned with pride before his eyes settled on Magnus. His expression quickly faded. "Everything okay here?" he asked before looking at Hodge with concern.

"Yeah," Hodge said as he put his hand on the larger man's arm. "Andrew, this is Magnus Bane. Magnus, this is my husband, Andrew. You met Lorenzo at the door."

"Hodge's _other_ husband," Andrew added. He obviously wanted to see if Magnus had something to say about their unconventional relationship. Magnus also got the impression that he was sending Magnus a silent warning of sorts.

"Babe, can you read Jordan her story tonight?" Hodge asked softly. His fingers moved over his husband's forearm. It reminded Magnus of the few times he'd found himself doing the same thing to Alec to try and calm him.

"No, Dadda Hodge," the little girl insisted. Hodge immediately crouched down to her level and pulled her into his arms before lifting her with his good arm.

"Daddy Hodge will tuck you into bed, okay? Why don't you pick out a different story for Daddy Andrew to read you and if you're still awake when I'm finished, I'll read you our story. How does that sound?" he asked the little girl. She nodded eagerly and pressed her head against Hodge's chest.

"Magnus, I'm just going to lay her down and then I'll make those calls. I won't be long, I promise."

Magnus nodded.

Hodge turned to leave the kitchen, but when he saw that Andrew wasn't moving, he said, "Babe." Andrew tore his eyes from Magnus and looked at his husband. Hodge held his husband’s gaze which was enough to get Andrew moving. His hand went to the middle of Hodge’s back as he accompanied his husband and daughter out of the room.

The intimate scene made Magnus want to cry. Hodge was living a life he and George should've had. As much as Magnus wanted to hate Hodge for taking that from him, he couldn't find it in himself to wish that Hodge hadn't found that happiness for himself. Magnus wasn't sure what had changed because in the years after George died, he'd wanted Hodge to hurt like he had. Even after he'd saved Simon's life, Magnus hadn't been able to just say that all was forgiven. And he wasn't saying that now.

He sighed as he stood up because it was all just one big mess. He didn't know how he felt about anything anymore. All he knew was that he was terrified that he'd never see Alec again. That was about the only reality he could deal with at the moment.

As he began pacing again, he found himself being drawn more and more to the wall of pictures across from the kitchen table. There was no particular order to them. There were some of just two of the men, some of all three, some of the kids, and some of groups of different people. His eyes settled on a photo that was clearly some kind of wedding ceremony for the three men. While he'd heard of some gay men choosing to live in threesome relationships, he'd never actually seen one in person. It seemed incongruous to Magnus that three people could be in a loving, committed relationship, but looking at the three men smiling back at him from the picture, he knew it had to be possible. The absolute joy on each man's face as they held on to one another was proof that it wasn't just some gimmick or fad.

Magnus heart thudded painfully in his chest again and he found himself twirling the ring on his finger as he thought about what his wedding to George would've been like. Right on the heels of that thought came the realization that he never would've met Alec if he hadn't lost George. It was all too painful to think about. He was about to turn away from the picture when he heard a soft whine and then something wet and warm trailed over the back of his hand. He looked down and saw the pretty golden retriever sitting politely at his feet. It whined again and then licked his hand once more.

Assuming the dog wanted attention, Magnus settled his hand on the top of its head and began petting the silky fur. When Magnus sensed that he was no longer alone, he looked in the direction of the hallway and saw Lorenzo standing in the doorway.

"Is she bothering you?" he asked.

Magnus shook his head. "The opposite, actually."

Lorenzo stepped around the corner and closed the distance between them so he could pet his dog. "She's good at that. Even if it weren't her job, I think she'd still have that instinct."

"Her job?" Magnus asked.

"She's my service dog. She senses when I'm getting anxious. I have PTSD," he explained. "Mick is able to sense an episode and help draw me out of it before it gets too bad."

"I'm sorry," Magnus said.

"I'm one of the lucky ones," Lorenzo responded. "A lot of people who need dogs like Mick can't get them. They're expensive to train. It was Hodge’s idea to start our own foundation to help get dogs for those who can’t afford them."

Magnus’ expression must've changed when Lorenzo mentioned Hodge's name, because he fell silent and the smile left his face.

"I'm sorry," Magnus murmured. "Maybe I shouldn't have come here."

"If it's because you need help with something, then here is exactly where you should've come."

Magnus found himself looking at the wedding photo again. He knew he should say something about it, but no words would come.

"Whatever it is, Magnus, Hodge can fix it," Lorenzo assured Magnus. He reached out to briefly touch Magnus’ elbow. The attempt to comfort Magnus only served to wind him even tighter.

Magnus shook his head and dashed at the tears that were even closer to falling. He didn't know what possessed him to say what he said next, but it was out before he could stop it.

"I can't lose him too."

Mick began frantically licking his hand. Ridiculously, it was the dog's sweet concern that had Magnus losing it entirely. He began to sob as all the fear and doubt and god-awful image of Alec lying dead in that ditch collided in his head.

"I'm sorry," Magnus croaked and then he was turning away so he could get the hell out of there. All he wanted was to escape. He wanted to go back to his quiet, boring life. The one he'd had before Alec had driven a freight train through it. He wanted to not lie in bed night after night waiting for Alec to pick the lock on his kitchen door as surely as he was picking the lock on Magnus’ heart. He wanted to go back to having the hole in his soul that he hadn’t even realized was there until he’d met the mysterious stranger who’d saved his daughter’s life.

_How had this happened? How had I fallen for a man I barely knew?_

Although his intent had been to escape the house, either his feet never moved or Lorenzo was quicker than him because a moment later Magnus found himself crying in the man's arms. It was painfully humiliating, but instead of pushing him away, Magnus found himself wrapping his arms around him and just hanging on. He was dimly aware of Lorenzo telling him it was okay, but after that it was hard to make out any words because of all the white noise in his head.

Years and years of grief and pain and loneliness spilled out as he clung to a man who might as well have been a complete stranger. But his mind didn't seem to care. By the time he was able to get control of himself, he was once again sitting in one of the kitchen chairs, but he wasn't alone. Lorenzo was sitting next to him in one of the other chairs, his hand wrapped around Magnus’. Across from him was Hodge, and Andrew was standing on the far side of the room. The little girl who’d answered the door when he’d arrived was in Andrew’s arms. She looked like she’d been crying and Magnus wondered if his own breakdown had triggered one for her.

Magnus felt like an absolute fool. He'd had plenty of meltdowns when he'd been younger, but after losing George, he'd had to keep it together for Simon's sake. He'd just assumed he'd gotten stronger over the years, but the fact that he'd fallen apart so easily and in front of the very last people he should be having that kind of episode in front of, was proof that he hadn't gotten stronger—he’d just gotten better at keeping things inside. That dam had been bound to burst at some point given the right trigger.

_And Alec, apparently, was the trigger._

Even though he was more in control of his emotions, the need to escape was greater than ever. If Magnus could've crawled into a hole and disappeared, he would have. The best he could do was make a break for it. "I, uh, need to go. I have to pick up my daughter," he said, his voice hoarse from the tears. He tugged his hand free of Lorenzo's and stepped around the chair and headed in the direction of the front door.

"Magnus," Hodge called as he climbed to his feet.

But Magnus didn't stop. He couldn't. He needed to find a way to pull himself back together and he couldn't do that in front of these men. Hell, he didn't even know if he could do it, period.

"Sorry, my daughter is waiting…" Magnus lied. He was halfway down the hall with the front door in view, so his escape was imminent.

That was when Hodge said, "Magnus, Alec is okay."

Magnus came to a stumbling halt as his brain processed his words. He whirled around and looked at him.

"He is?" Magnus asked as all the humiliation he'd been feeling was gone just like that and relief flooded every cell in his body. "He's alive?"

Before Hodge could respond, Magnus heard the front door behind him open. He didn't know how he knew, but he did. He knew _exactly_ who would be standing there when he turned around.

Still, when he did turn, the sight of Alec nearly drove him to his knees. He looked perfectly fine. Unhurt and strong and beautiful. The lifeless eyes that had been haunting Magnus for weeks were full of light. Magnus almost started to walk toward him but then he saw a man appear behind him, his expression grim. Beyond him were several more men. Magnus looked back at Alec and saw something in his eyes that Magnus had never seen before.

Regret.

If it had just been Alec and Magnus and he’d been returning to Magnus’ house after his abrupt departure, Magnus could've written off the regret as being related to that, but in his gut Magnus knew it had nothing to do with the events of how they’d parted. He confirmed that by looking at Hodge. The worry in his eyes was clear.

_Worry?_

_For … me?_

_Oh God._

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Alec’s relief at seeing Magnus unhurt was short-lived because the first words that came out of Magnus' mouth were filled with pure terror.

"Madzie? Simon?" he breathed, his voice catching on his children's names.

Alec knew instantly what he was asking. As Alec hurried to close the distance between them, he said, "They're fine. They're both fine, Magnus. I promise you."

His relief was palpable. As soon as Alec reached him, Magnus put out his arm and grabbed onto Alec. Then his hands were on Alec’s face. "You're okay?" he asked as his swollen, reddened eyes scanned Alec’s body.

Alec managed to nod, but nothing more. He couldn't comprehend Magnus level of worry.

_Why would it be for me?_

Especially after the way he’d left.

Magnus pushed into Alec’s arms while his went around Magnus’ neck. "I'm sorry, Alec, I didn't know what else to do. I was so scared."

Alec had no clue what he was talking about. But he automatically put his arms around Magnus and held him close. Alec remembered that they had an audience, but he didn't care. It wasn't until Alec looked up at Hodge and saw him watching the both of them that something finally clicked in Alec’s muddled brain. Alec was so floored by the possibility that he found himself putting distance between his and Magnus’ bodies so he could look Magnus in the eye. "Did you come here for me?" Alec asked in disbelief.

Magnus dropped his eyes. He looked like he was going to be physically ill. On the drive over to Hodge's house, Alec had been trying to figure out how to tell Magnus about the danger he and his kids were now in because of Alec. He'd planned to do it back at Magnus’ house but looking at him now and realizing he was blaming himself for something he had absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, Alec knew he couldn't wait that long.

To Hodge Alec said, "Is there some place he and I can talk?"

"The den," he said as he motioned to a door by the front entryway.

Alec wrapped his fingers around Magnus’ and led him to the door in question. Once he had Magnus inside, he slammed the door shut and then he was pressing Magnus up against it. Alec kissed him before he could say anything else. He expected Magnus to protest, but to his surprise, he let out a soft little cry and then he was kissing back as desperately as Alec was kissing him. When Magnus was forced to break the kiss before things went beyond the point of no return, both of them were panting hard. Magnus’ hands were on his face but as reality returned, his face fell and he slowly dropped them. His eyes held Alec’s for a moment, then Magnus was moving away from him. Magnus went to stand behind the couch. Alec couldn’t help but wonder if he was using it as a barrier between them.

“What’s going on?” Magnus asked. “Who are those men out front?”

Alec went to the television to turn off the cartoon that was playing.

“I work with them. One of them was Raphael, my boss. The others… the others are in charge of keeping you safe.”

To Magnus credit, he kept his voice calm as he asked, “What are you talking about?”

“You googled my name.”

Magnus shrugged his shoulders a bit. “Yeah, but I didn’t find anything. I was just—” He stopped suddenly. “Wait… how did you know I googled your name? Have you been spying on me?” he asked in disbelief.

“No,” Alec responded.

"Then how—"

"When you entered my name into the search engine, it triggered an alert."

Magnus was clearly confused. And growing increasingly frustrated. Alec didn't blame him. Never before had he had so much trouble getting to a point.

"What kind of alert? Are the authorities looking for you or something?"

Alec shook his head. "They aren't, but someone else is."

"Alexan—" Magnus said in frustration.

"Fuck," Alec growled, cutting him off. But the anger was directed at himself. "Up until two years ago, Jace and I were in the Army—we were in the same unit. One night after Jace hung out with some of the other guys on our team at a bar, they jumped him. They nearly killed him. He wasn't their primary target, though."

"You were," Magnus said softly.

Alec nodded. "War changes people. When you spend every minute of every day wondering if you're going to die, it changes you in ways you never thought possible. Most of the men on my team were good men, but they got caught up in something they couldn't come back from."

"I don't understand," Magnus interjected in frustration.

"Jace almost died because of a decision I made. All the men who hurt him are either dead or in prison. All but one."

Understanding dawned for Magnus. Alec saw it in the moment his eyes widened just a little bit. "He's the one looking for you?"

Alec nodded again. "He's looking for me just like I've been looking for him."

"The night you left my house without saying anything, was that why?"

"Yes. I thought I had a lead on him, on his location. But it didn't pan out."

"Oh God, Alexander. My search… I didn't know. I didn't know," he said with a shake of his head. Magnus was so distressed that Alec found himself hurrying around the couch so he could grab his arms.

"Listen to me, Magnus. You did nothing wrong. Chances are, he never even saw your search. A woman who works for Raphael, has been monitoring various search engines for my name. When your search triggered that alert, she hacked into your computer thinking you were the guy looking for me. When she realized you weren’t, she deleted everything she could. She basically deleted your electronic footprint."

Magnus let out a sigh of relief. "So it's okay. Everything is okay." His hands moved up and down Alec’s arms as if he were trying to make sure Alec was really there. He stopped just as quickly and stared at Alec’s chest before saying, "Why are there men protecting me, Alexander?"

Despite the question, Alec could tell he already knew the answer. He dropped his hands and stepped back, putting more and more distance between them. It was all Alec could do not to grab him to keep him close.

"There's no guarantee she got everything, Magnus. He could be using the same kind of alert. He could follow the same trail Dot did."

Magnus was quiet for the longest time. Alec could practically see the wheels in his head spinning as he tried to put everything together.

"Magnus—" Alec began, but when he stepped forward, Magnus threw up his hand and shook his head almost violently.

"You think he's coming after me," Magnus breathed. He shook his head again and then he was on the move. Alec stepped into his path and grabbed his upper arms.

"Madzie! Simon! I have to get to my children!" He frantically fought the hold Alec had on him.

"Magnus," Alec tried again.

Magnus lashed out at him, pulling free of Alec in the process. He took several steps back and then he was digging out his phone. His hands were shaking violently. Even as he tried to dial, he was attempting to move past Alec.

Once again, Alec grabbed his arms, but this time Alec was more prepared for his reaction.

"Let me go, Alexander! Madzie! I need to get to Madzie!" he yelled.

The door behind Alec flew open, but he ignored the man that he knew would be standing there and focused only on Magnus. "Madzie is safe!" Alec said firmly. "And Simon is with Jace. They’re all being watched."

Magnus shook his head, clearly not satisfied with Alec’s response. Despite the hold Alec had on him, he continued to fumble with his phone. Alec covered Magnus’ hand with his. When he jerked it away, something inside of Alec broke. The idea that he no longer welcomed Alec’s touch was abhorrent to Alec. He didn't know how to react, so when Alec did, it was all wrong. Alec knew that. But he did it anyway.

He snatched the phone out of Magnus’ hands and threw it against the wall.

Magnus took several steps back. His expression said it all. He was afraid of Alec.

Alec felt sick. It was all he could do not to throw up then and there.

"Mr. Bane, my name is Raphael Santiago. Alec and Jace work for me. As do all the men who are currently watching both of your kids to make sure nothing happens to them." Alec hated that Magnus turned his attention to Raphael … that he actually listened to him. It felt like a betrayal, but Alec knew it was one he had earned with his behavior. He managed to keep silent as Raphael continued to explain to Magnus what was happening in a way Alec couldn't.

"Jace and Simon don't yet know about these extra precautions we've taken. It would be better for them if they heard it upon their return to New York."

"Madzie?" was all Magnus managed to get out. Alec could see that he was on the verge of completely losing it. He wanted to go to Magnus, but he couldn't move. And he knew Magnus wouldn't welcome the contact anyway.

"Madzie is safe. I have four men surrounding the home she’s at. When you're ready, we’ll escort you to her and then make sure to get you back home. All of this is just a precaution, Mr. Bane. Chances are, nothing will happen, we’re just being overly cautious."

"I want to see my daughter," Magnus said softly. His eyes darted back and forth between Alec and Raphael. He was clearly on edge and Alec couldn't blame him. It was a lot to take in and he hadn't even heard the worst of it yet.

"Of course," Raphael said. Alec saw him hold out his arm invitingly, and that had Alec seeing red. Despite knowing that Raphael had no interest in Magnus, Alec still found himself moving between them.

"He's coming with me."

Raphael wasn't the kind of guy you wanted to fuck with, but the idea of Magnus leaving with him, of Magnus trusting him over Alec, threatened to have Alec’s rage going to a whole new level. Whether he liked it or not, Magnus was his. Even if Alec had destroyed the fragile relationship they had managed to establish, his safety was still Alec’s only concern. He could hate Alec all he wanted. As long as he was alive to do it, that was all that mattered to Alec at the moment.

Alec ignored Raphael and focused on Magnus, daring him to defy Alec. He was expecting it. Despite some of the insecurities Magnus had about himself, he’d stood up to Alec more than once already and Alec wasn't expecting that to change. Magnus’ gaze shifted back and forth between Alec and Raphael and then he shook his head. "I'm leaving," he murmured and then he was moving past the both of them.

Alec turned and headed for the door himself, stopping only long enough to say to Raphael, "He stays with me."

Alec was glad when Raphael didn't try to stop him. Though he was a formidable opponent, Alec had much more at stake. Neither he nor his men would keep Alec from what he needed to do.

And what he needed to do was protect Magnus.

Alec refused to dwell on the other thoughts that went through his head when it came to what he wanted with Magnus. He tried to tell himself it wasn't about gaining his forgiveness or understanding. It was far too late for that anyway, or it would be once Magnus found out how precarious his situation had really become.

And all because Alec hadn't been able to keep his hands off him.

Alec forced all thoughts aside as he hurried to catch up to Magnus. He was making his way down the walkway toward his car, ignoring the few men that were keeping an eye on the perimeter. Thankfully, Alec didn't hear any kind of command from behind him from Raphael for his men to stop Alec. Once he reached Magnus, Raphael's guys were the least of his problems. Because the second he grabbed Magnus’ arm, he turned and hit Alec in the jaw with his fist. The blow wasn't enough to do much damage, but it did have Alec releasing him.

"Two weeks!" Magnus screamed. "Two weeks! We had a deal, Alec. You said you wouldn’t walk out on me without saying goodbye!" Magnus bit back a sob before continuing. "Two weeks I've been driving myself crazy with worry for you. The things I imagined…" He shook his head. "And then you come back with this!" He motioned to their surroundings.

For their part, Raphael's men kept their attention on the perimeter and not them, but one glance over his shoulder proved that they still had an audience in Raphael as well as the Starkweathers.

While Alec didn't give a crap about who was watching, Magnus stopped abruptly when he realized they weren't alone. He dropped his eyes and shook his hand out, the hand he’d hit Alec with. "Stay away from me, Alec. Just stay away from me."

His words were like a knife being thrust into Alec’s chest. Especially after noticing that Magnus hadn’t used his full name. But that didn't stop him from stepping in front of Magnus again as he moved to open his car door. His keys were in his hand, so before he could react, Alec plucked them out of it and then grabbed his arm in a firm grip. "Hate me all you want, Magnus." Alec propelled him to the passenger side of the car as he continued with, "You're going to have plenty of time for that because I'm not going anywhere."

Once they reached the opposite side of the car, Alec yanked the door open and waited. Magnus’ eyes held Alec’s. They glittered with anger and hurt. Alec tried to search for the right thing to say, but he knew there was no such thing. He waited for Magnus to fight him, to argue with him.

But there was no more arguing, no more words of anger and pain. It was all there in his eyes though, loud and clear. Magnus simply turned away from him and climbed into the car. And Alec knew then that this really was it. That he'd lost him.

_I’d lost him and I had no one but myself to blame._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #Obsession_fic
> 
> Sorry - again - I hope you still love me....


	7. Chapter: 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys
> 
> 1\. I'm really sorry I haven't been able to respond to any of your comments from the previous chapter - I cannot even describe how hectic work has turned out to be. But please know that I've read every one of them - they just make me so happy and that is why I've had to steal few minutes from work today to post this chapter cos, like I mentioned previously, I really don't want to let anyone down.
> 
> 2\. Ok, so here we go.....

"Night, sweatpea," Magnus said to Madzie one final time as he closed the door to her bedroom enough that the light from the hallway wouldn't be shining directly in her eyes as she fell asleep. Madzie waved her hand at him drowsily. Despite the evening's events, Magnus knew she’d be out in no time.

To say the drive from the Starkweather townhouse to the home where Madzie had been attending a classmate’s birthday party had been tense was an understatement. Magnus hadn't spoken a word to Alec, just like Alec hadn't spoken a word to him. Magnus managed to put on a mask of calm when they’d picked up Madzie and he’d shown all the appropriate levels of excitement as she'd told him about the party. But as he'd gotten Madzie in and out of the van, Magnus had been frantically looking around for a stranger to come out of nowhere, gun drawn.

Thankfully, Madzie hadn't picked up on any of his tension. She'd been curious about Alec’s presence, but after Magnus explained that Alec had just stopped by to say hi, she hadn't asked any more questions. Magnus figured she'd remembered Alec from their movie night a couple weeks earlier. He'd been worried that Alec would be a trigger for Madzie since he’d been there the night Sebastian had attacked his family, but Madzie hadn't seemed to recognize Alec on movie night. Tonight had been the same.

As he stood just outside of Madzie's door to make sure he didn't hear her calling out for him, Magnus’ body began to shake violently. All the fear and confusion and hurt came roaring back in an instant. He was tempted to go back into Madzie's room and lie down next to her just so he would know she was safe, but he knew that would just confuse his little girl. She was finally getting back to the point where she was feeling more and more comfortable being away from him, and Magnus didn't want to jeopardize that in any kind of way. The mere fact that she'd been willing to attend her friend’s birthday party was proof that her meetings with the child psychologist were helping.

But now it was all at risk because Alec hadn't been up front with him. In truth, Magnus still didn't even really understand what was happening. He knew it was something he would have to talk to him about in more detail, but the ordeal of going to Hodge Starkweather’s home and thinking that Alec was dead somewhere only to have him walk through the door like he'd never been gone had worn Magnus out mentally and emotionally. Then Alec had the audacity to let him start apologizing to _him_ for having dared google his name out of concern.

Magnus pulled in a deep breath and tried to get control of his runaway emotions. He was eager to talk to Simon to make sure he was okay, but without his phone, he was out of luck. The reality was that Raphael was right. Magnus needed to wait until Simon was back in New York before talking to him about what was going on. He had called Magnus a few days earlier to tell him know that he was flying with Jace to Miami so Jace could say goodbye to his dying father. Knowing what Magnus knew about the relationship both Jace and Alec had with their father, Magnus knew it would be an emotional time for Jace. Jace would need all of Simon’s attention to deal with what was happening.

Magnus took one last peek into Madzie's room to make sure she was okay and then he made his way to his own room. He was beyond exhausted, but more than anything, he needed to release some of the pent-up emotion inside of him. He'd had panic attacks when he'd been younger, so he knew what the tell-tale signs were, including the increased breathing and the chest pains.

Once in his room, he bypassed his inviting bed and hurried to the bathroom. He got the water in the shower going and quickly undressed. Once he was standing beneath the spray of hot water, he tried to go through the normal motions of washing his hair, but as soon as he lifted his hands, his body decided enough was enough. He couldn't hold back the sob that burst from his throat. He covered his mouth with his hand to try to stifle the sound as much as he could. It was doubtful that Madzie would hear him, but he didn't want to risk waking her.

His breakdown wasn't pretty. By the time the tears finally stopped flowing, he was sitting on his ass in the corner of his shower. He had his arms wrapped around his knees, his face buried against them to muffle any noise he made. The water no longer felt hot, but fortunately it wasn't ice cold yet. Even when it got to that point, he doubted he'd be able to do anything. His body felt too heavy to move.

_Why has Alec done this to me?_

_Why have I done this to myself?_

He'd spent the years after George's death learning to rely only on himself. There hadn't been any choice. It'd been a lonely existence at times, but at least he'd been the one in control of what was happening to him. Now, everything felt out of control. And all because he'd allowed himself to fall for a guy who'd been off-limits to him in every kind of way.

He could feel the tears threatening to start up all over again. Luckily, the water chose that moment to start turning cold, so he had the incentive he needed to stop feeling sorry for himself.

_Easier said than done._

It took a good minute to work up the energy to even try to move, but just as he was dropping his hands and bracing them on the tile floor so he could push himself to his feet, the shower door was torn open. Magnus let out a little yelp at the sight of Alec standing there. He stuck his hand into the shower and turned the knob, cutting off the stream of water that was cascading over Magnus and chilling his skin.

"Enough," he growled, and then he was reaching down and pulling Magnus to his feet. Unfortunately, his feet weren’t quite ready to cooperate. Magnus ended up stumbling forward, right into Alec’s warm body. He wanted to sink into it as the heat washed over him, but then he remembered how he hadn’t bothered to even look over his shoulder at him that day in the street as he’d walked away.

Magnus pushed at him as best he could, but he didn't release Magnus entirely. The fact that Magnus was stark naked and dripping wet didn't seem to faze Alec in the least. He ripped a towel off one of the hooks near the shower and thrust it at Magnus. "Dry yourself off," he demanded.

Alec’s words had him forgetting all about his state of undress… as well as his despair. Magnus launched the towel at him and said, "Fuck you, Alec."

Alec’s already hard jaw turned to granite as the towel fell harmlessly to his feet. He stepped forward and kept coming until he had Magnus crowded against the wall. Magnus probably should've been afraid, but his body had decided to go in a whole different direction.

_And not a good one._

Alec slapped his hands on the wall on each side of Magnus’ head as he leaned in until his mouth was practically brushing Magnus’. "I'm good with that," he muttered and then Alec’s mouth was on his.

Magnus wanted to resist him. He really did. But the second their lips met, all Magnus could think about was the fact that he'd come so close to losing this… _him_. In the two weeks that Magnus had spent imagining Alec gone from his life forever, he'd wished for just one more moment like this. One more moment where he could taste Alec again.

_Hold him again._

Magnus whimpered when Alec’s fingers closed around his hardening dick. He gave Magnus a few long, drawn-out tugs and then he was tearing his mouth from Magnus’. Magnus told himself to push Alec away, to tell him to get his hands off, but he could do nothing but stand there as Alec’s strong fingers toyed with him. His free hand came down to stroke over Magnus’ cheek. Alec’s eyes never left his.

"Do you want that, Magnus? Do you want to be the first guy to fuck me?"

Before Magnus could answer him, Alec dipped his head and nipped at Magnus’ lips. "Because I haven't been able to stop thinking about it," he murmured. Alec’s mouth once again sealed over his. His kiss was desperate and deep and Magnus felt it everywhere. This time when he released Magnus’ mouth, he trailed kisses down his throat and along his chest. Then, to Magnus’ disbelief, he was on his knees in front of Magnus. His nose nuzzled Magnus’ groin and he did that inhaling thing that drove Magnus crazy.

Magnus knew he needed to stop it. But all the fear and anxiety and uncertainty that were pent up inside of him, needed to come out and at the moment, he was more than happy to take all that out on Alec in a different way.

"Open your mouth," Magnus demanded. He knew he was pushing his luck because a guy like Alec didn't take orders. Not from Magnus, not from anyone. Not even under the best of circumstances. But to Magnus’ surprise, Alec lifted his eyes and held his gaze before slowly opening his mouth as wide as he could. He held there like that even when Magnus didn't move right away.

Magnus reached down to run his fingers over his firm lips. Alec closed his eyes but it only lasted a second or two and then he was opening them again. Magnus was mesmerized by his submissiveness. Never in a million years would Magnus have guessed Alec was even capable of such a thing. But the proof was before him. Magnus pressed him thumb between Alec’s lips again. He immediately closed them around the digit and began gently sucking on it. His lips were soft on Magnus’ skin, but his level of suction was intense, robbing Magnus’ brain of all rational thought. It was like Magnus was moving in slow motion when he pulled his finger from his mouth and then clasped the back of Alec’s head with his hand. Magnus drew him forward until Alec’s mouth was just centimetres from the crown of his cock.

Magnus didn't need to order Alec to take him down his throat. He did that all on his own and on the first pass. Magnus let out a ragged curse as he dropped his head back against the wall and lost himself in the sensation of Alec’s firm lips wrapped around his most sensitive flesh. "Oh God," Magnus whispered when Alec began sliding his mouth up and down Magnus’ shaft. Magnus still had his fingers in Alec’s hair, so he gripped him hard to make sure that he wasn't going to try to escape Magnus.

He didn't.

What he did do was put his big hands on Magnus’ backside so he had something to hold on to as Magnus hips took over and began controlling the glides in and out of his mouth. He gagged a few times when Magnus hit the back of his throat, but he didn't try to spit Magnus out or pull away. The more Magnus drove into his mouth, the more he thought about what it would be like to thrust like that into his ass. Magnus had never actually been with a guy like that before. Hell, he'd barely been with anyone like this before. George had given him one or two blow jobs early on in their relationship, but it hadn't been something he’d wanted to do a lot of and so they'd just naturally fallen into the roles of George always topping and Magnus always bottoming. Magnus had been happy with the arrangement, but the more he thought about driving into Alec's gorgeous body as he moaned and writhed beneath him, the more he suddenly wanted it.

_And to be his first? To be the first man who ever had him that way?_

Magnus suddenly understood where Alec’s possessiveness came from. Now that the idea of being the first to have him in such a way was planted in Magnus’ head, the idea of someone coming and taking it away, had him just wanting to hold on to it even tighter. If Magnus hadn't been so close to coming, he probably would've shoved him on all fours and thrust inside of him then and there. Magnus was that desperate.

"Alexander," he cried out softly as his balls grew tighter and tighter. Alec’s mouth slurped along his length as he took him all the way in. Magnus looked down, nearly coming on the spot when he took in the sight of Alec’s lips wrapped around his base and his nose pressed up against his groin. Magnus could feel his balls pressing against Alec’s chin. Magnus’ dick was wet with his saliva when Alec pulled back. Alec released his hold on Magnus’ backside, but only so he could play with Magnus’ balls with one hand and press a finger from his other against Magnus’ hole. The dual massage was too much to bear. Magnus cried out his name as he gripped Alec’s head with both of his hands and began shooting down his throat. Magnus managed to keep his eyes open long enough to see semen dripping out of Alec’s mouth, but then it was all just too much and Magnus was forced to close his eyes as the orgasm rolled over him in waves and waves. When it was finally over, he sagged against the wall. Alec used his tongue to clean Magnus off, then he was climbing to his feet and his mouth was sealing over Magnus’.

Magnus lost himself in the kiss, but then cold reality began to settle over him. He dragged his mouth from Alec’s and turned his head so Alec couldn't continue the kiss. Magnus didn't need to see him to feel his disappointment. He told himself he didn't care.

"Dry yourself off and meet me in your room. We need to talk," Alec said, his voice dripping with anger as he stalked away.

"Alec," called Magnus.

Alec turned to look at him over his shoulder.

"We'll talk when _I'm_ ready."

Other than a tick in his jaw, Alec didn't react. Magnus was reminded of the first days of their relationship. He'd gotten better at reading Alec since then, but it wouldn't have taken a rocket scientist to know he was pissed.

Magnus expected him to just walk out, but he caught Magnus off guard when he slowly reached his hand up and wiped at something at the corner of his mouth. Magnus held his breath when he realized what it was. His eyes stayed on Magnus’ as he sucked his finger into his mouth, licking off the tiny drop of semen he'd missed earlier. Magnus’ body tried to react to the seductive move, but Alec had wrung him dry.

_Literally._

Just like that, Magnus turned and left the room, quietly closing the bathroom door behind him.

He had no clue if the man would be there or not when he got out of the bathroom. In his mind, he was the injured party and so what he said should automatically go, but at the same time, there was another part of him that needed him to be there. He had no clue why. He had to believe he was going crazy. Maybe he was. But he was also sick with fear and confused as hell.

So when Magnus opened the door and saw Alec standing at the window like he had the night they'd mutually agreed to be fuck buddies or whatever the hell it was they'd ended up being, he was both glad and pissed. His body was still feeling the aftereffects of the orgasm, so he supposed that tempered his immediate response .He went to his dresser and looked through it for a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. He didn't bother trying to hide from Alec as he got dressed. The man had just had Magnus’ dick down his throat, so modesty was pretty much moot at that point.

"I'm not doing this here," Magnus muttered and then he left the room. If he was anywhere near the bed when he got into what would likely prove to be an epic fight with Alec, chances were he'd end up beneath him on said bed and be more than a little happy about it. He went to the kitchen and began making himself a cup of tea. He found himself starting up the coffee pot before he could even consider what he was doing. He wrote it off to his need to be polite rather than any softness he was feeling toward Alec. He got a mug down for him and put it in front of the coffee pot but left it at that.

Magnus sensed him long before he came into view. He kept his attention on preparing his cup of tea as Alec stood in front of the coffee pot and waited for a cup to brew. If it hadn't been such an awkward moment, it would've been sweetly domestic.

Alec’s coffee was done before Magnus’ tea. Thankfully, Alec went to sit down at the kitchen table, giving Magnus a couple of minutes to get control of himself. Magnus chose the seat on the opposite side of the table, putting as much distance between them as he could.

"His name is Victor. Victor Aldertree. They called him ‘ _The_ Victor’ because he had a way of winning people over. To open up to him. On the surface, he seemed like one of those guys you just couldn't help but like."

"Did you?" Magnus asked. "Like him?"

"I didn't _not_ like him," Alec said. Magnus wasn't really sure what that meant but decided he didn't really need to know. Maybe if he'd still meant something, Magnus would've had a different perspective.

_Who are you kidding, Magnus? If he doesn't mean something to you, then why do you want to just crawl into a hole and disappear?_

Magnus ignored his inner voice and focused on Alec as he toyed with his coffee mug. He was twisting the mug round and round between his big hands. Alec’s eyes, for once, weren't on him and Magnus wondered what that meant.

"He was like one of those cats. You know, the kind that know which people aren’t cat people?"

"Yeah, those are the people they want to be around the most," Magnus said.

Alec nodded. "Victor was like that. It didn't hurt that he was gay."

Magnus’ heart lodged in his throat. Was he really saying what Magnus thought he was saying? "You slept with him?" Magnus asked. He didn't want to know the answer, but he also kind of had to at the same time.

"I made it clear it was just a one-time thing. Normally, I never messed around with guys I worked with, but options are pretty limited when you're in the middle of a desert surrounded by combatants who are trying to kill you."

"Did you care about him?" Magnus asked. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he wanted to call them back. Truth was, he didn't really want to know if he’d cared about him.

"NO," Alec said without hesitation. "I'd never had any interest in that. It was purely physical, and it was just the one time. Shortly after, I was promoted to sergeant which made me his boss. It made things even more awkward between us, but he insisted he was fine with it."

"But he wasn't?" Magnus suggested.

Alec shook his head. He began rubbing his fingers more erratically along the coffee mug. "He was a competitive son of a bitch. He’d been vying for the position for a long time, long before I'd joined the team. He was a charming guy when he wanted to be, and he was good at using people's weaknesses against them. He began pitting my subordinates against me one by one. I was a hard-ass when it came to my leadership style, but Victor was smart enough to not come at me directly."

"What happened?" Magnus asked.

"The missions we went on were tough. They were physically and mentally demanding. Sometimes we lost some of our guys. That, combined with day after day of wondering if you're going to be the next one who loses his life, can be damaging to some people. Victor stoked those fires and built up resentment among our teammates. He directed the blame at our enemies, which obviously wasn't unusual. But then he began to redefine who the enemy was."

Alec began fisting and flexing his fingers. It was proof of how agitated he was becoming. If Magnus had been sitting next to him, he probably would've done something stupid like put his hand over Alec’s to try and calm him. Magnus had to remind himself that he wasn't here to calm him. Not anymore. But it was painful to watch Alec struggling, so Magnus asked, "What happened, Alec?"

"Victor and half a dozen of the guys on the team attacked several women and girls in one of the villages we’d been reconning." Alec drew in a breath. "The youngest girl was just fifteen. The fuckers justified raping her and the other women and girls because some were supposedly related to an insurgent. I wouldn't have even known about it except that one of the guys started bragging about what they’d done after getting drunk one night. I went back to the village to confirm it was true. It was. That girl…" Alec shook his head slowly back and forth. Magnus had never seen him look so haunted.

"What happened to her?" Magnus asked gently.

"She killed herself. Fifteen fucking years old."

"I'm sorry, Alec."

Alec kicked back the chair and stood. He moved over to the window and took up the familiar position where his hands were clasped behind his back. "I began the process of having the men court-martialled for their crimes. The plan was to arrest them when we returned to the States. We had a stopover in Germany before we were set to return home. Victor found out about the court-martial. He used Jace to draw me out."

"Used him how?" Magnus asked.

"I hadn't told Jace about the attack on the village. I didn’t know it, but he ended up going with them to a bar the night before we were supposed to fly home. He left early but the guys followed him and jumped him behind an abandoned building. They beat him nearly to death. He was shot three times. The third shot should've killed him, but it didn't."

Magnus felt like his throat was going to close up. He was horrified by the entire story, of course, but to know that the young man who’d become such an important part of his son's life had nearly lost his own made Magnus sick to his stomach. "You said… you said they used him to draw you out."

"Part of it was to draw me out so they could kill me as well."

"Part of it? What was the other part?"

"Victor is a sadistic son of a bitch. Jace thinks that Victor missed with the kill shot because he was drunk. The thing about Victor, though, is he doesn't drink. He's never touched the stuff. I'm sure the other guys were bombed but not Victor. He missed that shot on purpose. He wanted to make sure that Jace survived so I would be reminded of it every day. Of how close I'd come to losing him. When I got to the alley, I took care of the guys who’d hurt Jace, but Victor got away. That first night I spent at Jace's side in the hospital, the nurse delivered a note that had been left for me at the reception desk. All it said was, ‘ _See you soon_.’"

"Victor sent it?"

Alec nodded.

The reality of what he was saying kicked in. "You think he wants to hurt me to get to you?" Saying the words was painful. It was all just too surreal. All Magnus had done was put a name in a search engine. How had that turned into a sadistic would-be murderer hunting him? And what did that mean for his children?

"This man… this _Victor_ guy, he went after Jace because he knew how much you cared about him. You and me, we…" Magnus struggled to finish the sentence because it hurt to admit the truth of it. "We don't mean anything to each other." Even as he said it, the words sounded wrong. Alec meant more to Magnus than Magnus wanted to admit. Even after everything that had happened, Alec still meant something to him.

Magnus thought it couldn't get any more painful than it already was by confronting the truth about his feelings for Alec still being there. But he was wrong because Alec’s next sentence pretty much took the cake when it came to the pain thing.

"No we don’t, but Victor doesn’t know that.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Alec wanted to pass off the tightness in his chest as being related to the memory of what had happened to Jace that night two years ago, but he knew better. The knot was there behind his ribcage because Magnus had confirmed what he should've wanted to hear.

His insistence that they didn't mean anything to each other were the right words, yet they still felt wrong. Alec wanted to demand that he feel differently. He wanted Magnus to admit that when he touched him, he felt the same things he did.

Problem was, Alec didn't know what the shit he was feeling even meant. Alec was in unchartered territory.

It didn't matter. There was only one thing Alec needed to be focused on at the moment, and that was keeping Magnus and his family safe while finding the man who was never going to let him rest. Victor wasn't right in the head. Alec had no doubt that he'd been enjoying toying with him over the past couple of years… leaving little clues for him here and there to remind him that he was still out there. He'd fed into all of it by pursuing him. It had just been an extension of the game he’d played with Alec the night he attacked Jace.

"So what are you saying?" Magnus asked.

Alec could see that he already knew the answer. That he understood what was going to happen.

"I'm sorry, Magnus."

Magnus fell silent for a long time. His eyes dropped to his hands which he was wringing on top of the table. He shook his head. "So what, Madzie and Simon and I are supposed to live in fear the rest of our lives? Or we go into hiding?"

"I'll find him, Magnus," Alec said firmly.

Magnus let out a harsh laugh. "What do I do until then? How do I explain to my six-year-old that she has to leave everything she knows? How am I supposed to live the rest of my own life waiting for something to happen? For something to take away the only thing that matters to me in this world?"

Alec didn't have an answer for him. Actually, he did, because he'd been living that very life for two years now. But he certainly wasn't going to tell him what it was like to never be able to truly rest. To always wonder who or what was just around the corner. To wake up in a cold sweat night after night as you tried to wipe the damning images of death and loss from your brain.

Magnus slid his chair back and stood. He didn't say a word as he turned his back on Alec and left the kitchen, leaving his untouched cup of tea sitting on the table. Alec found himself reaching for his phone, but as he stared at the blank screen, he realized there was no one to call. The only two people in his life he could talk to about this whole thing were the same two people he’d pushed away so effectively. Once Jace learned what his behavior had led to, he doubted Jace would ever forgive him. He could only hope that his actions wouldn't cost his brother his new family.

Alec climbed to his feet, prepared to go outside and stand watch along with the handful of men Raphael had left stationed in front of Magnus’ house and up and down the blocks surrounding it, but when his feet started moving, it wasn't in the direction of the door.

He half expected to find Magnus’ bedroom door locked, but it was standing wide open. The room was completely dark, but it didn't take long for Alec’s eyes to adjust as he stepped into the room. He instinctively knew where Magnus was.

When he reached the side of Magnus’ king-size bed, Alec toed his shoes off, keeping his eyes on the still form beneath the covers the whole time. Magnus had his back to Alec, but Alec knew he wasn't sleeping. How could he be? Alec had basically just upended his entire world. Alec eased himself into the bed and then sidled up against him. Alec fully expected Magnus to tell him to leave or push him away, but he didn't react. Alec took a chance and pressed the front of his body full-length against Magnus’ back. It wasn't until Alec wrapped his arm around his waist that Magnus reacted.

But instead of pushing his hand away, Magnus drew it up so Alec’s palm was resting against his chest. Alec found himself letting out a heavy sigh of relief. He knew nothing between them had been resolved, and that Magnus was likely just experiencing a moment of needing to be comforted, but Alec would take it.

"Promise me you'll keep them safe, Alec. Promise me you won't let anything happen to my children."

"I promise, Magnus. I'll find Victor and I'll end this. You, your kids, you'll be able to go back to your normal lives and this will all seem like a bad dream and nothing more."

Alec had no way of knowing if his words comforted him, because Magnus didn't speak again. Within a matter of minutes, he could hear the steady breathing that was proof Magnus had finally fallen asleep.

Alec wasn't expecting to find any peace in slumber himself, but the next thing he knew, it was morning and he woke up alone in the bed. He practically jumped off the mattress and ran out of the room. It wasn't until he heard Magnus’ voice and Madzie's computer voice that he came to a screeching halt and tried to calm his racing heart. The fact that his reaction to Magnus’ absence had been so over the top was just more evidence that Magnus was much deeper under his skin than he'd ever believed possible.

When he entered the kitchen, Magnus looked up at him. Something flashed in his eyes that Alec couldn't identify, but his voice was calm, friendly even, as he said, "Good morning. Can I make you anything for breakfast?"

Alec shook his head and murmured, "I'll just have some coffee."

Alec made his way toward the coffee machine, but Magnus beat him to it. "Sit," he said as he motioned to the table. Alec noticed an iPad sitting on it next to several dirty breakfast dishes.

Despite Magnus’ friendly demeanour, Alec knew something was off. The words might've been right, but the tone wasn't. He could hear the anger behind Magnus’ words. Anger he suspected Magnus probably would've directed at him full force if Madzie hadn't been present. Alec’s eyes shifted to the little girl. She was watching him curiously.

"Sleepover," she said through the use of her computer. It still fascinated Alec the way she would look at something on the screen in front of her and the words would come out of the machine. After that first night with Magnus when he'd gotten his hackles up about Alec referring to Madzie as his “kid” instead of using the child's first name, Alec started looking up information about Madzie's condition. The big takeaway he'd gotten from his research had been that Madzie and people like her weren't developmentally challenged and not uncommon. It became clear that Madzie was just like any other kid. In her case, she needed a board and a computer to help her talk, just like a deaf person would need sign language to communicate.

Alec glanced at Magnus because he wasn't really sure what Madzie was asking him. He'd always made sure to leave by morning long before Madzie got up, so this was a first for her and for Alec.

"I was telling Madzie that you and I had a sleepover and that we would probably have a few more this week."

"I have sleepover?" Madzie said.

"No," Alec automatically said. There was no way he could risk another kid’s life. It was bad enough that he'd put Madzie in danger.

Alec realized immediately that not only had he responded inappropriately, he'd scared Madzie in the process with his too-loud response. The little girl shrank in upon herself and Alec felt like a complete and utter asshole.

"Yes, sweatpea," Magnus said as he knelt down next to Madzie's chair and put his hand on her arm. "You can have a sleepover soon. Maybe we can talk about having a couple of your friends spend the night for your seventh birthday."

Whatever damage Alec had done to Madzie with his callous behaviour, Magnus managed to undo with his gentle touch and soft words. Madzie nodded happily, though she shifted her gaze back and forth between Alec and her father. Alec wisely held his tongue this time.

"Why don't you start getting ready for school?" Magnus said. "I'll be in to help you in a minute." Magnus leaned in and pressed a kiss to his daughter’s forehead.

"Okay, Dad," Madzie said. Then she was out of the kitchen. She gave Alec a wide berth in the process. Alec couldn’t blame her.

The second the little girl was out of hearing range, Magnus turned to Alec, "That will not happen again, do you understand me?"

Normally, Magnus’ defiance would've turned him on and had him itching for a confrontation that would end in the most delicious of ways, but all Alec did was nod in response.

"She can't go to school today, Magnus."

Magnus grabbed the breakfast dishes that had been sitting in front of Madzie and took them to the sink. "So what was your plan, Alec? To lock us up somewhere while you go off hunting the sadistic bastard you've been trying to find for two years?"

That had been his exact plan. But before Alec could open his mouth to tell him so, there was a knock at the kitchen door. Alec immediately got to his feet and pulled out his gun. He put his hand out to make sure that Magnus knew to stay behind him. As he approached the door, he saw who it was through the glass. Alec tucked the gun back into his waistband and opened the door for Raphael.

"We need to talk," the man said simply before his eyes shifted to Magnus. Alec expected Magnus to cower before the clearly angry Raphael, but to Alec’s surprise, he straightened his spine and crossed his arms.

"Actually, we don't. _I'm_ going to talk and _you two_ are going to listen," Magnus said in response.

Raphael didn't comment other than to hand Alec his phone. The screen was already unlocked, so Alec could see what he’d been looking at. Disbelief tore through Alec as he took in what was on the screen in front of him. It was a screenshot from Magnus’ Facebook page. There was a picture of Alec and Magnus in bed. Alec was asleep whereas Magnus was cuddled up next to him taking a selfie of them. It looked like he was in the process of kissing Alec’s cheek. The description beneath the photograph said ‘ _waking up with my guy’_. Magnus had actually tagged Alec in the post, which couldn't have even been possible since Alec didn't have a Facebook account. He was about to ask Magnus not only what the hell he’d done but how he’d done it since he didn’t have his phone but then Alec’s eyes fell on the iPad sitting on the kitchen table.

"Look at the next screenshot," Raphael murmured. Alec did just that and saw that Magnus had changed his relationship status from single to in a relationship. Again, he’d tagged Alec in the post. Alec scrolled through several similar screenshots on Raphael’s phone. They all said the same thing—that Magnus and him were in a relationship—but were from different social media sites.

"What the hell is this?" Alec asked.

" _‘I'll find Victor and end all this.’_ That's what you said, right, Alec?" Magnus asked, his jaw tight and his eyes burning with emotion. "Until that happens, I don't get my life back, right? My kid’s don't get their lives back. Well excuse me if I'm not okay with waiting two years for that to happen."

His jab stung. But before Alec could respond, he was continuing on his own.

"So here's how this is going to go," Magnus said. "You"—he looked directly at Raphael—"are going to take Madzie someplace safe and you’re going to make sure that no one touches even a hair on her head. Simon is going to go with you so Madzie thinks it’s just a sibling adventure. I will be asking Jace to go along as well because I know that he’ll do anything to keep Simon and Madzie safe." Magnus’ gaze shifted to Alec. " _I'm_ going to be the bait. You're so certain this man will try to take someone you care about from you, well, we’re going to see if that's true or not."

It was safe to say that every single word he said had Alec seeing red. More and more red. Endless swaths of it.

"Mr. Bane, I understand your frustration—" Raphael began.

"Do you, Mr. Santiago?” Magnus asked, keeping his eyes on Alec as he spoke. “And I think under the circumstances you can call me Magnus. We can hash out the details of my plan a bit later but for now I think Alec and I should have a little talk."

As much as Alec hated to admit it, Magnus’ tone was having an untimely effect on his dick. From the moment he met the man, he loved his submissiveness. But Alec could completely get on board with this version of Magnus too. He couldn't help but imagine Magnus leaning over his back as he held Alec down and told him everything that he was going to do to him in that no-nonsense tone of his, that he had right now.

Alec was more than a little surprised when Raphael left, but also glad. The second the kitchen door closed, Alec was on Magnus. Alec walked him backwards until he hit the refrigerator behind him. He put out his hands to grab Alec’s arms but made no effort to escape him. "You're not doing this," Alec said simply.

"Unless you plan on locking me in a room and throwing away the key, _this_ is _exactly_ what I'm going to be doing. I don't care how many fake social media accounts I have to create so I can tout our _love_ in front of the world. If that's what it takes to keep my kids safe, then that’s what's going to happen."

“No—”

“That’s a word you don’t get to say to me anymore, Alec,” Magnus cut in, his voice steady and even. “You gave up the chance to have any say in the decisions I make when you walked out on me like I was nothing. If you don’t get on board with this, then Madzie and I will run but you won’t be part of that either. You’ll never know what happened to us. Is that really something you want to have to live with for the rest of your life?”

“I’ll—” Alec began before he realized he had nothing. He shook his head because it was the best he could do.

Magnus’ eyes softened a bit and then his hand was coming up to cradle Alec’s cheek. “Keep me safe, Alec. End this thing with Victor and we can both go back to the lives we had.”

It was on the tip of Alec’s tongue to tell him the truth… that he had absolutely no desire to go back to the life he’d had because Magnus hadn’t been a part of it, but Alec had the sense to keep the words to himself. Instead, Alec kissed him hard. He was glad when Magnus kissed him back. When he pulled back, Magnus looked startled and confused.

_Good._

Alec didn’t want to be the only one who had no clue what was happening. But instead of just telling him that, the insecure, has-to-protect-himself-at-all-costs Alec reared his ugly head and the next words out of his mouth were the last ones he should have been saying because there was absolutely no truth behind them.

“Fake it till you make it, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #Obsession_fic
> 
> You guys really are AMAZING and I LOVE YOU ALL...🙏😘❤️


	8. Chapter: 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys
> 
> 1\. I really hope all of you are doing OK during these really tough times. My only wish is that you all take special precautions to stay safe.
> 
> 2\. Once again, I want to thank ALL of you amazing people who have shown me an endless amount of love and support.
> 
> 3\. Please do let me know what you think about this chapter...❤️ 
> 
> ________________________________________________________________________________

"What's that one called?"

"Spinosaurus," Magnus heard Madzie's computer say. "It is the biggest carnivore."

"Carnivore, that's the one that eats meat, right?" Alec asked.

"Yes. But it is not the biggest dinosaur.”

"Wait, let me guess," Alec interrupted. "I remember this from the movie. The kid said it when his sister got sneezed on. It's a… Boogersaurus."

Madzie’s sweet smile had Magnus leaning against the wall just outside of her door. After his confrontation with Alec, Magnus had gone to his room to find a bag to put Madzie's belongings in for her spur-of-the-moment trip with her brother. Magnus just assumed Alec had gone outside.

Granted, after his comment about faking it, Magnus hadn't really cared where the man went. He'd just wanted to escape Alec’s presence. The idea that he could so easily fake a relationship with Magnus made Magnus sick to his stomach. Maybe Magnus deserved it for his actions, but he couldn't regret what he'd done. While he'd fallen asleep relatively quickly the night before while in Alec’s arms, Magnus had woken up a mere hour later. His mind had been racing with thoughts of what it would be like to live life on the run. Magnus had enough money in his bank account that he could do it, but the fact was that he didn't want to. He didn't want that for his kids. Either of them.

What had surprised Magnus more than anything, though, had been that he didn't want Alec to live that life anymore. Although Magnus didn't know much about Alec’s day-to-day world, he had to believe that his hunt for the man who'd nearly killed his brother had left Alec with his fair share of internal scars. The one thing Magnus did know about Alec was that he was very protective. He'd made that clear when he'd apologized to Magnus for not preventing the events surrounding Sebastian's attack on Magnus’ family.

There had been absolutely no reason for the man to know what Sebastian had planned to do, but Alec still felt like it was his fault that the man had gotten into his house and had held a gun to Madzie’s head. If he had such deep emotions about an attack he had no way of preventing, Magnus couldn't even imagine the mental duress he'd been experiencing since his brother had nearly died.

Alec wasn't a man who could deal with feeling helpless and out of control. If Victor was as good at reading people as Alec had said he was, he'd know that about Alec and he'd used it to his advantage. The cat and mouse game they’d been playing had been just that, but Alec was the mouse. Magnus wasn't sure he really understood that.

In any case, as Magnus wondered what his future held if he was forced to live it on the run, he knew there was no way he could do it. There was no way he could give up the life he'd built for Madzie. And there was no way he could live a life where death was always just around the corner. Even if it destroyed the fragile connection he had with Alec, it was what he had to do. Alec was too stubborn to see that on his own, so Magnus had no choice but to set the wheels in motion himself. It'd been hard to stand up to both Alec and Raphael, but with his kids involved, there hadn't been any question about what he’d needed to do.

Magnus knew there were a lot of logistics to work out, but he’d let Alec and Raphael deal with that. For now, he needed to figure out how to explain to Madzie that she wouldn't be seeing him for the foreseeable future. Magnus’ hope was that this thing with Victor would come to an end soon, but there was just no way to know. If Magnus’ plan didn't work, he'd eventually have to call an end to the trap in which he was the bait, but he wasn't ready to think about what that would mean for him or his daughter. Simon had Jace to take care of him, so the two of them would have to make those decisions together.

Magnus stood outside of Madzie's door for a little longer just listening to how Alec and Madzie interacted. He'd been pissed when Alec had snapped at Madzie after she had brought up the idea of a sleepover, but hearing now how Alec was speaking to his little girl, how he was engaging with her, Magnus was starting to realize that Alec’s reaction had been based on fear for Madzie’s safety rather than anything else. The mere fact that Alec was trying to make it up to Madzie went a long way to ease some of the anger Magnus was feeling.

Magnus waited a few minutes for the pair to finish up their conversation about dinosaurs before entering the room. When Alec saw him, he stood up from the bed where he’d been sitting. Alec was holding a dinosaur in his hand. He stood there awkwardly for a moment before putting the toy on the desk that was close to Madzie’s bed.

"Thanks for the lesson, Madzie," Alec said and then he bumped fists with her. Madzie gave a little smile and then she made a sound that most people dismissed as nothing more than a grunt but what was actually laughter. It was so amazing to hear that sound come out of her since that was a sound she only ever made around Simon and Magnus himself. Magnus’ eyes met Alec’s as he walked past Magnus before leaving the room. Magnus ignored the shiver of awareness that went through him and went to sit next to his daughter.

It was a daunting conversation. On the one hand, Madzie was beyond excited to know that she’d be taking a trip with her big brother. But on the other, her distress was obvious when she realized Magnus wouldn't be going with her. They hadn't been apart for even one night since he'd brought her home from the orphanage. He spent a good half hour reassuring Madzie that he was just a phone call away and that he'd see her before she even started to miss him. The act of having her help him pack her stuff seemed to help calm her down, but they were only halfway through the task when he heard raised voices coming from the living room.

"Can you stay here for a minute, Madzie?" Magnus asked. "I’ll be right back."

Madzie gave him a nod. He hurried from the room and got to the living room just in time to hear Jace yell, "My future father-in-law, Alec? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Jace and Alec were standing near the television. Jace was clearly pissed. Simon was standing just a few feet behind Jace. He had his fingers on Jace’s arm, but Magnus wasn't sure if it was to comfort him or to try and hold him back. Alec, for his part, wasn't reacting to his brother’s anger. If anything, he was being _too_ quiet.

"It's all for show," Magnus called as he stepped into the room. As angry as he was at Alec, he couldn't bear to watch him deal with his brother’s wrath. He moved to stand between the brothers and said, "Jace, there's a lot going on here that you don't understand. The stuff I posted on Facebook was just for show. There's nothing going on between me and your brother." Magnus wasn't particularly proud of the lie, but he figured there would be plenty of time to hash out the truth after all of this was over. As far as he was concerned, the details of any relationship he had with Alec wasn't anyone's business anyway.

"Dad, what are you talking about?" Simon asked in confusion. "This morning I logged onto Facebook and saw that you’re in a relationship with Alec and five minutes later the post is gone."

Magnus figured the woman Alec had mentioned who did ‘the computer stuff’ for Raphael had likely removed his posts, but he hadn't been sure. Hopefully, they’d been up long enough for Victor to see them. Or he'd at least have to convince Alec and Raphael to have her put the posts back. But first, he had to deal with Simon and Jace.

"We'll explain everything to you, Si, but the short version is that there's no relationship between me and Alec. It was all a lie."

"No it wasn't," Alec interjected. Magnus turned to look at him and shook his head in disbelief.

_What the hell was he doing?_

"Alec—" Magnus began.

But the man stepped around Magnus and closed the distance between him and his brother. "It wasn't a lie. Magnus and I _are_ in a relationship. It's been going on for weeks."

Magnus opened his mouth to correct him on more than one front, but before he could, Jace was throwing a punch. The blow caught Alec along the jaw. He stumbled backwards but managed to stay on his feet.

"You're such a selfish asshole, Alec!" Jace snapped. "What, you aren't happy so no one else can be? I can't live like this anymore. I don't even know you anymore," he added sadly.

"Enough," Magnus interjected as he stepped between the two men. "What happened between your brother and me is none of your business, Jace," Magnus said. "It's nobody's business but ours. But if you must know, it was very much a mutual decision. And maybe we should have told you at some point, I don't know, but that's neither here nor there. We have a bigger problem now."

Jace pulled in a couple of breaths. Simon had taken his hand and that seemed to have calmed Jace considerably.

"What problem?" he asked.

"Victor," Alec said as he rubbed his jaw.

Jace let out a harsh laugh. "God, Victor again? Alec, he's gone. He's not hunting you. Or me. If anything, he’s staying as far away from us as he can. It would be insanity for him to come here—"

"Jace, as your future father-in-law, I need you to do something for me."

Magnus’ words got Jace's attention. As badly as he wanted to know if the young man had proposed to his son, Magnus knew it was irrelevant at the moment. Even if he hadn't, it was just a matter of time. With that knowledge in mind, Magnus said, "I need you to listen to your brother. Really listen." Magnus couldn't help but glance over his shoulder as he said the next part. "Listen to the things… he's not saying."

Jace was silent for a moment and then he finally nodded. Magnus glanced at Simon who also nodded in understanding. Simon leaned in and kissed his boyfriend softly and then whispered something in his ear that Magnus couldn't hear. Magnus took the opportunity to focus on Alec. "If you want to protect him, do it by telling him the truth." Magnus found himself reaching out to squeeze Alec’s fingers. He kept the contact brief, though all he really wanted to do was lean in and close his arms around the man.

Magnus waited for Simon to join him and then led him to Madzie's room. He had no doubt that his son had a million questions and that his daughter was probably confused as hell by all the yelling that had been going on, but despite all that, all Magnus really wanted to do was return to Alec’s side so Alec would have someone to hold on to.

_So much for faking it._

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

For the first time in a long time, it wasn't a matter of not wanting to talk to his brother, it was a matter of not knowing what to say. Alec didn't do feelings or emotions. He dealt in truths and silence. But as he stood before Jace and took in the disappointment that was clearly written across every feature, he knew that silence wasn't an option.

Which left the truth.

"I thought Magnus was just an....obsession. I thought if I could get past the physical attraction, I could move on," Alec said.

"And did it even register with you what your obsession could do to my relationship with Simon?" Jace asked.

"Yes," Alec acknowledged.

Jace nodded. "So it registered, but you just didn't care?"

"Did you care when pursuing something with Simon jeopardized your job?"

"I'm not your job, Alec! I'm your brother!"

He was right. Alec knew that and he knew nothing he said would justify what he’d done. As terrible as that was, he still couldn't find it in himself to regret it. Alec’s silence was the same as if he'd made the admission out loud. Jace shook his head in disbelief and then turned his back on Alec. In that moment, Alec felt fear like he'd never known in his entire life. Not even the night he'd almost lost Jace forever.

This was the same thing, but it was also different. He knew Jace was walking away from him for good this time. It was a battle he didn't know how to fight.

"He made things easier," Alec found himself whispering. He'd dropped his eyes, so he sensed rather than saw Jace hesitate. His throat felt tight and he was sure that his heart was beating a million miles an hour. "When I'm around him, I feel like I can finally take a deep breath."

"And you don't feel that way around anyone else?" Jace asked softly.

Alec shook his head. "The only time I don't feel like _him_ is when I'm with Magnus."

Alec didn't have to explain who _‘him_ ’ was. Jace knew. Their father had dominated their world long after they’d escaped the man.

"Are you in love with him, Alec?"

Alec let out a rough laugh. "You're assuming I know what the fuck love is."

Jace sighed and then he was moving even closer to Alec. "Tell me about Victor."

"He's not right in the head. I knew that the minute I met him. But I fucked him anyway and regretted it almost immediately. Afterwards, he was so easy-going about the whole thing, about understanding that it had been a one-time thing that I started to doubt myself. No one had managed to do that since Dad."

"Dad made you doubt yourself?"

"He used to say that I was like him. He'd wait till I was standing over him with my fists at the ready after he'd threatened to go after you for something. He'd say, ‘See, Alec, you're just like me.’ I knew he was right. Deep down, I knew there would come a time when I couldn't control my anger. That I'd hurt someone who didn't deserve it."

"You've never done that, Alec—"

"Not with my hands, maybe. But I’ve hurt the only people who matter to me. You. Magnus."

"You've never hurt me—"

"I've scared you. I've made you wonder about me—"

"I've never been afraid of you, brother. I’ve been afraid _for_ you. You've carried too much on your shoulders for too long. You know what I realized while I was in Miami? Dad was never a real father to me, but you were. You took care of me when no one else would, Alec. You kept me safe, you made sure I had a roof over my head and food in my belly. When I was scared, you were the one I went to. When I had something exciting to share, you were the first one I wanted to tell. And when I needed to come out, I knew I could test the waters with you because you would never judge me. You would never be disappointed in me."

"No, never," Alec agreed. "I'm so proud of the man you've become, Jace. Of the man you've always been."

Jace fell silent for a moment as he held Alec’s gaze. He finally let out a breath and asked, "So you think Victor will come here?"

"It's not the kill he wants, Jace. It's the hunt. If he'd wanted you dead that night in the alley, you would've been dead."

Jace was clearly confused. "Why would he leave me alive? His goal was to get to you. To get back at you for the court-martial—"

Alec shook his head. "That was just what he told the men he convinced to attack us both. It was the same thing with the women and girls in that village. When I went back to question the victims, they all said the same thing. That there was one man who stood apart from the rest of them. That he only watched and that he took pleasure in that… in _watching_. He did the same thing that night when he had you attacked. He stayed long enough to watch me fight off the men who'd hurt you, and then he was gone. He wanted me to know that he was still out there and that he would always be watching. It was the ultimate revenge. It meant I would never have peace."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jace asked.

"Because there was no reason for you to live like that. To be looking over your shoulder every day for the rest of your life."

"No, I guess there wasn't. Because you were doing it for me," Jace murmured. "I suppose it never occurred to you that maybe I could help catch the man who was so intent on hurting you?"

"If I told you the truth, would you have been able to have what you do with Simon? Or would you have given up the chance to be with him so you could ensure his safety?" Alec asked. “Because it isn’t me Victor is going to go after. It’s everyone he thinks I care about. If you’d known, would you have been able to let Simon go?”

Jace looked away, clearly torn by the question. It didn't matter because Alec knew the truth. Jace absolutely would've chosen Simon's safety over having a future with him. It was something Alec understood all too well.

"Help me find him now, Jace. Help me make sure that Victor can't hurt the people we care about most in this world."

"Tell me what you need me to do," Jace said. His eyes met Alec’s once again. Jace was now in soldier mode, which was exactly where Alec needed him to be.

"Take Madzie and Simon somewhere Victor can't find them. Magnus needs to know that his children are safe."

"Alec, why are you risking Magnus’ life like this—"

"Do you really think this is my choice?" Alec snapped impatiently. "If I had my way, I'd hide Magnus away on some mountain somewhere where nothing could ever hurt him again! But the man's as stubborn as…" Alec’s words dropped off when he saw the wicked grin that drifted across Jace’s mouth.

"What?" Alec asked in frustration.

"Let me know when you come up with the right words to describe him," he said with a wink. He sobered a moment later and added, "I'll keep them safe, Alec. Do what you need to do and end this thing with Victor once and for all. And after it's all over, if Magnus is the one who still makes it easier for you to take those deep breaths, then you have my blessing."

Jace turned to go, but Alec found himself unable to resist saying, "Even if it means I'll be your stepfather-in-law?"

Alec smiled when Jace shot him a deadly look. "No, just…. _NO_ ," he murmured and then he was headed in the direction of Madzie's room. It was just moments later that Magnus was returning to the living room.

"Everything okay?" he asked. Alec wanted nothing more than to draw him into him arms and tell him that everything was perfect. Because despite the sheer chaos that their lives had become, the fact that he was here with Magnus was perfect. He couldn't explain it, but he was tired of trying to pretend it wasn't true.

Alec nodded. "How is Madzie?" he asked.

"She's hanging in there," Magnus said. "Simon's got her super excited about the adventure they’re going on. She’s already talking about all the rest of the _Jurassic Park_ movies they’ll be able to watch without me there to stop them."

An awkward silence hung in the air between them after he finished talking. As glad as Alec was to be there with him, he’d never felt so disconnected from Magnus. There were a thousand things Alec wanted to say and do, but he couldn't bring himself to move or speak. Magnus stood there for a moment, his eyes speaking volumes, but then he was dropping them. "Okay, well, I guess I should go back and see how they're doing on the packing."

"Yeah, I should go talk to Raphael about what the plan is," Alec murmured.

It wasn't until well after Magnus had left the room that Alec found the words he should've said as Magnus turned his back on him. The same words he'd had the courage to say to him only once…the ones that had changed the trajectory of their relationship forever.

_Don't go._

But of course, by the time Alec whispered them, it was too late because Magnus was long gone.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Sorry," Magnus murmured as he caught Alec’s gaze on his hands once again.

They were sitting at Magnus’ kitchen table. Alec had recently given him what he’d called a burner phone that he could use to talk to Simon and Madzie without fear of it being traced. Ever since he’d put it in Magnus’ hand, he'd been tapping it on the table out of sheer nervousness.

"It's fine," Alec said. "Why don't you go ahead and call them?"

Simon and Madzie had left with Jace and several other men only twenty minutes earlier, but Magnus was already beside himself with worry. He would've liked to have told Alec he was fine and that making the call wasn't necessary, but the reality was that he needed to hear his children's voices. It was the only way he had even a chance in hell of focusing on whatever plan Raphael was about to share with them.

Magnus hit the button on the phone that was programmed to dial the other burner phone. Simon picked up almost immediately. "Dad, everything okay?" he asked. Magnus could hear the nervousness in his voice. He definitely took after Magnus when it came to his anxiety level. Magnus was glad that he had Jace to watch over him. He hadn't really had much of a chance to go into detail with Simon about what was happening, but his trust in Jace was absolute, so Magnus knew that was the only thing that had made it possible for Simon to walk out the front door with his little sister, leaving Magnus behind.

"Yeah, everything's good," Magnus said. "Just wanted to see how you guys are doing."

Simon hesitated a moment and then said, "Hang on, let me put you on speaker." The fact that his son knew he needed to hear both his and Madzie's voices wasn't a surprise. He felt tears stinging the backs of his eyes when he heard Madzie's computer voice kick in. Even though the computer couldn't convey the tone of his daughter’s excitement, Magnus knew it was there. He managed to respond in all the appropriate places as Madzie reiterated all the things she and her brother and Jace were going to do.

By the time Magnus hung up the phone, he was feeling better and worse at the same time. He was beyond glad that his children would be safe, but at the same time, he wanted nothing more than to have them at his side. His eyes shifted to Alec. He wasn't looking at Magnus. Instead, his eyes were on the table. Magnus hated that he no longer looked him in the eye when he spoke. He knew Alec was feeling guilty for all of this, but Magnus was beyond being angry at him. The fact was that Magnus needed him, every part of him, to get through this.

But he couldn't tell him that because none of this was real. He'd said that himself. It was just a terrible twist of circumstance that had led them here. Whatever relationship they’d had before he’d walked out on Magnus was long over and Magnus needed to remember that. The blow job he’d given Magnus in the bathroom had been nothing more than his way of trying to blow off some steam.

Magnus glanced over his shoulder as Raphael entered the house. Alec had said there were several men surrounding it, but Magnus had yet to see any of them. He figured that was a good thing because he didn’t want to alert his neighbors to anything going on.

"Okay, so here's the plan." The man's eyes landed on Magnus as he gestured for them to sit with him at the table. "As ill-advised as your plan was, the fact is that we believe it will draw Victor out. The key is to make it look like Alec has finally given up on hunting Victor. That he's too focused on his relationship with you to want to keep pursuing Victor. That, in itself, will hopefully push Victor to make a move."

"What do you mean?" Magnus asked.

"I've been giving him what he's wanted all this time," Alec responded. "Me. He's enjoying the hunt. If we take that away from him…"

As Alec let the words hang, Magnus felt a shiver go throughout his body. What kind of evil was within the man if he found such pleasure in his fixation with toying with Alec?

"But if Alec suddenly just gives up looking for him, won't that make Victor suspicious?" Magnus asked.

"Yes," Raphael said. "That's why Dot is going to continue to delete the majority of your social media posts shortly after you put them up. It will make it look like Alec is trying to live a normal life with you but is still playing it safe. Dot will conveniently miss a post or two on one of your smaller accounts. That way if Victor isn't seeing the posts when they happen, he'll be able to find one or two here and there if he does a search. Unfortunately, we have no way of tracking him, so if and when he shows up, we won't know it until it happens.”

"So you want me to keep posting about Alec?" Magnus clarified.

Alec shifted nervously at the other end of the table. The move surprised Magnus because he'd never seen Alec nervous. But he wasn't the one who responded to Magnus. It was Raphael.

"We actually want you and Alec to take it a step further."

"What do you mean?" Magnus asked.

"We want you to go out and do things that a normal couple would do. Dates, grocery shopping, stuff like that. Basically, we need it to look like you and Alec are living a happy life together. If Victor is watching, seeing the proof in person that Alec has moved on will just enrage Victor further. It will also give credence to your social media posts."

Magnus found it difficult to swallow around the lump in his throat. Despite the fact that this entire thing had been his doing, now that it was here, he was terrified. Raphael must've sensed or seen something to indicate his growing terror because he said, "We'll have men following you the entire time; they just have to do so from a distance. Alec has been hunting Victor for two years, so he knows the man better than anyone. Given the circumstances, the safest place you can be is with him."

"And who's going to protect him?" Magnus asked softly.

Magnus eyes found Alec’s across the table. He couldn't read the expression in them, though.

"What do you mean?" Raphael asked.

Magnus shook his head. He wasn’t supposed to give a shit about Alec’s emotional stability or physical well-being. "Never mind," he murmured. "What else?"

"Chances are, Victor is not going to stage an attack on you and Alec until you're out of the city. So over the next couple of weeks, you're going to hint at a dream trip with your boyfriend. My men and I are in the process of finding an ideal site that's both remote and accessible at the same time. The good thing is that Victor will have no way of knowing that Alec isn’t alone anymore. He won't be expecting Alec to have the backup that he does."

Magnus nodded in understanding.

"Magnus, I know this is challenging, but if Victor is going to buy into it, it needs to look real. Is that going to be a problem?"

Magnus shook his head. It most definitely wasn't going to be a problem to pretend he was head over heels for Alec.

"Alec?" Raphael said.

"Not a problem," was all he said. He sounded all business and Magnus felt his heart sink.

"When do we start?" Magnus asked. The sooner they got this going, the sooner it could be over and he could get back to the life he'd had before Alec had snuck into it. He couldn't even imagine what it would be like to go back to his boring nights of reading in bed and not waiting for Alec to break into his house.

"Right now," Raphael said. He handed Magnus his regular phone… the one Alec had taken from him at Hodge Starkweather’s house. "Post all your social media stuff from this device. Since we can't completely wipe proof of Madzie and Simon from your lives, you can mention them being off on an adventure, but nothing more. Spin it so it looks like you're celebrating the fact that you have alone time with Alec. Use the phone as you normally would, but don't contact Simon or Madzie or Jace from it. Use only the burner phone for that."

Magnus nodded in understanding and then reached for his phone. He took his time creating a post stating exactly what Raphael had described. He glanced at Alec and said, "Ready?" The man looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. He nodded and stood. Magnus went to him and put his arm around Alec, prepared to take a selfie. Alec felt so stiff against him, Magnus was sure there was no way they were going to pull it off. But then he leaned into Magnus and nuzzled his neck. Not only did it look real as hell, it turned Magnus on beyond belief and all of that came across in the picture. As Magnus forced himself to pull away from the strong arms that were wrapped around him, he handed the phone to Raphael because he couldn't bring himself to actually post the thing.

When it was done, Raphael handed him the phone back. "Why don’t you go get ready for your first official date?" Raphael suggested. "I've made reservations for you at this little Italian bistro—"

"No," Magnus cut in. "Alec would never go for something like that," Magnus said absently as he turned to look out the window. "He's not a crowds kind of guy. He’d want to go somewhere where it was just the two of us."

The silence behind Magnus was deafening, so he glanced over his shoulder. He was afraid he might have overstepped his bounds when it came to this whole planning thing, but Raphael was watching him with a look of surprise rather than irritation and Alec… Alec just looked completely confused.

"Golden Gardens Park. There's plenty of people around, but you can still find quiet spots. We could do a simple picnic or something. Would that work?" Magnus asked.

Neither of the two answered Magnus at first. It was Raphael who finally said, "That'll work." Magnus wanted to laugh because it was absolute craziness. He was finally getting to go on his first date with the man he'd lost his heart to, but not only were they hoping that they’d be stalked by a man who hated Alec with everything that he was, but Magnus was having to arrange said date through Alec’s boss.

Magnus took the opportunity to escape to his room, mumbling an excuse about needing to get ready, but there was no getting ready for something like this. The most he could do was try to protect his heart over the next few weeks or however long it took. Then, when it was all over, maybe he'd be able to go back to his quiet, unassuming life as a single dad, and only when the loneliness became unbearable would he dig deep into the recesses of his mind and remember the fake dates.

_And pretend they'd been anything but._

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dating Magnus was heaven and hell combined. The dates themselves had been incredible, especially considering that Alec had never been on one and hadn't had any desire to. But being on a date with Magnus had meant one thing and one thing only.

_Getting Magnus to myself._

And there was absolutely nothing wrong with that.

No, the hell of it came in because none of it was real. All the handholding, the soft kisses, the smiles Magnus would send him… it was all bullshit. Alec was coolly reminded of that fact as soon as they were in the safety of Magnus’ home. The second the front door was closed behind them, he’d drop Alec’s hand, the smile would disappear, and he'd mumble something about being tired or wanting to call his kids and then he’d disappear for the rest of the night, leaving Alec to crash out on the sofa and relive every moment of their day together.

It'd been ten days since they’d put their makeshift plan into place and while there was no evidence that Victor was watching them, Alec knew in his gut that he was. He had absolutely no proof, though. He hated the waiting. He hated knowing that he was out there hunting them, planning the moment when he could carry out his attack. Alec was forced to rely on others to watch his back, which served only to make him more restless and frustrated. He wanted this whole thing to be over. He wanted Victor six feet under and he wanted Magnus to…

Fuck, he didn't know what he wanted from Magnus.

Although they touched and kissed for the sake of anyone watching them, Magnus avoided him like the plague when it was just the two of them.

While on their supposedly intimate dates, they might've looked like they were deep in discussion about something moving, but they’d kept the conversations pretty light. In fact, it'd been one of the few bright spots in the farce they’d been putting on. In those moments where they were supposedly murmuring words of love and devotion to one another, they'd actually been talking about the most mundane of things and it had ended up turning into a game of sorts.

It had started on the first date when he’d told Magnus that they needed to look like they were lost in each other. When they’d leaned into one another, he'd told Alec to talk to him about something, anything to keep him from completely freaking out. Alec ended up talking about munitions. That had only served to make Magnus even more nervous, so he’d jokingly told Alec that if he was going to talk about guns and bombs, to at least pick something boring like how to clean them. So that was exactly what he’d done. He'd given Magnus an in-depth lesson on how to correctly clean a gun.

The next day, Alec had gotten a very long and very dull lecture on investment options for someone of his age and income bracket. Since Magnus had been pressing soft kisses to his lips every few minutes, he'd been more than happy to stay there all day, though he still couldn't remember a single thing the man had said to him about his retirement options.

But as light as those moments had been, he knew that they were just about reaching their breaking point. Raphael had suggested more than once to Alec that he let someone else take over the responsibility of staying in the house with Magnus overnight, but he'd nixed that idea from the get-go. Not only did he not trust anyone else with Magnus’ safety, he couldn't bring himself to leave him for even the shortest amount of time. As it was, when he couldn't sleep, which was most nights, he found himself watching Magnus as he slept.

When he heard footsteps entering the kitchen behind him, Alec forced himself to focus on the pasta he'd been draining for the past ten minutes. They'd arrived back at Magnus’ house a good thirty minutes ago and while Magnus had disappeared into his room, Alec had started the task of getting some dinner going, though he doubted either of them was hungry.

"I've got some spaghetti going here," he murmured as Magnus moved past him to get to the refrigerator.

"I'm not hungry," he responded.

"You should eat something."

"Should I?" Magnus asked. The irritation was clear in his voice.

"I can make something else," Alec offered.

"No thanks," Magnus muttered and then he was slamming the refrigerator door shut. Alec resisted the urge to grab him as Magnus moved past him again.

"Magnus, I know this is tough, but I'm sure it'll be over soon," Alec said as he turned around to watch him.

"Well good, as long as you’re sure," Magnus drawled.

It was on the tip of Alec’s tongue to call him out for his childish behaviour, but then he remembered everything Magnus had given up because of him—because he hadn't been up front with him about himself. And because he'd been the one who’d brought this threat into Magnus’ life. Alec dropped his eyes and went back to draining the already drained pasta.

"I'll leave you a plate in the microwave in case you change your mind," Alec offered. He picked up the colander full of pasta but when he went to pour it into a bowl, Magnus was there. He snatched the colander out of Alec’s hand and flung it across the room, sending pasta flying.

"I don't want any fucking pasta!" he snapped. "I want this to be over! I want to know that my kids are safe. I want to know that my daughter is sleeping soundly in her own bed! I want—"

Magnus’ tirade was interrupted by the kitchen door being thrown open. Alec automatically stepped in front of Magnus and drew his gun. He drew in a heavy breath when he realized it was one of Raphael's men. As soon as he saw Alec and Magnus, he lowered his own gun and muttered, "Everything okay in here? I heard a noise."

"I dropped some pasta," Alec said. "Everything's fine."

The man glanced at the pasta, which was sticking to the opposite wall of the kitchen, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he turned around and hurried back outside. When Alec turned himself, he saw that Magnus was picking pasta up off the floor.

He knelt down next to him. "I'm sorry, Magnus, I know this has been tough. I know you miss Madzie and Simon and I know you want your regular life back."

Alec hoped his words would help calm him, but they only seemed to be making things worse because Magnus dropped the colander back on the ground and covered his eyes with his hand. "What about you, Alec? Will I get _you_ back?" he asked, his voice thick with tears.

"What do you mean, Magnus? I'm right here."

"Nothing," he said with a shake of his head. “Nothing. I'm sorry."

Alec was left more confused than ever as Magnus walked out of the kitchen like nothing had happened.

What had he been talking about? Alec was up and following him before he even realized what he was doing. He caught himself just as he reached the hallway leading to Magnus’ room. Alec wanted to demand that he explain himself, but he couldn't risk upsetting him any further.

Alec returned to the kitchen and began cleaning up the pasta, but his frustration and anger got the best of him, and before he knew it, he was striding toward Magnus’ room. He wasn't in it, but the closed bathroom door told Alec where he was. Alec tried the knob but found that it was locked. He told himself to just let it go and return to the kitchen, but he couldn't get Magnus’ voice out of his head.

_Will I get you back?_

"Magnus, open the door."

"I'm fine, Alec. Just leave me alone, okay?"

It wasn’t okay. None of this was okay. Alec looked down at the knob and realized it would take just seconds to pick, but he didn't even have the patience to last those few seconds. He wanted answers now. He no longer cared what that said about him or what kind of damage it would do to the thin strands of their relationship.

Alec wanted answers and he wanted Magnus.

With that in mind, he put his hand on the doorknob and then threw all his weight against the wood. Thankfully, it wasn't a very sturdy door to begin with, so it gave under the first try. Alec wasn't sure what he'd been expecting to find when he forced the door open, but the sight of Magnus sitting naked in the slowly filling bathtub was not at the top of the list.

Alec expected him to rail at him or ask him what the hell was going on, but he just sat there and stared at Alec in disbelief. His eyes went from Alec to the door and then back to Alec again. He didn't give Magnus time to call him out on his behaviour. Alec stepped to the bathtub and grabbed his arm. As he pulled Magnus to his feet, water went everywhere, but he didn't care. He dragged Magnus against him and growled, "What did you mean when you asked if you would get me back?"

To Alec’s surprise, Magnus didn't try to escape his hold. Nor did he try to cover himself up. In fact, he seemed to lean into Alec as he let out a deep breath. "This," he whispered. "You, Alexander. I need _you_ back."

Alec still didn't get what he meant, but when his mouth covered Alec’s, he no longer cared. It felt like coming home. All the soft, sweet kisses he'd given Alec over the past ten days during their pretend dates had been nice enough, but this… this was like finding himself all over again. It was like that first moment when Alec had seen him the night Sebastian had attacked his family. Everything in his world righted itself again.

It took a minute for Magnus’ words to really sink in.

_He wanted me back._

_ME_.

The guy he’d met that night. The demanding, brash, crude, insistent man who said what was on his mind and took what he wanted.

_He wanted **me**._

Alec didn’t question why all his flaws worked for Magnus and he didn’t wonder why Magnus wasn’t expecting him to change. Truth was, he didn’t care. All he cared about was that Magnus was back in his arms where he belonged.

“Undress me,” Alec whispered as he stroked his fingers up and down Magnus’ back.

Magnus let out a soft whimper and then his nimble fingers were on Alec’s pants. Alec took care of removing his own shirt. Water sloshed in the tub as Magnus dropped to his knees. As soon as he had Alec’s pants open, his mouth was searching out Alec’s dick. He couldn’t contain the moan that spilled from his lips as Magnus sucked him to the back of his throat. Alec shoved his pants past his hips and then leaned over him so he could toy with Magnus’ ass as he hoovered Alec’s cock. Magnus let out the sexiest little grunts as Alec teased his hole at the same time that he shuttled his dick in and out of Magnus’ lush mouth.

As much as he would have liked to come down Magnus’ throat, he needed more. He needed all of Magnus.

Alec straightened, pulling his cock free of Magnus’ greedy mouth.

“Lube?” Alec demanded.

“Drawer,” Magnus said, pointing to one of the vanity drawers across from the tub. Alec somehow managed to work his pants and boots off at the same time that he searched through the drawer for the lube. By the time he turned back around, Magnus was standing up in the tub, his hand sliding up and down his very stiff dick.

“Nuh-uh,” Alec said with a shake of his head when Magnus started to get out of the tub. “I’ve been picturing fucking you in this tub since that first night when you couldn’t stop talking about why you have a stool in your shower.”

Magnus blushed and laughed. “Oh God,” he murmured.

“You were adorable,” Alec said as he reached him and wrapped his arms around Magnus’ waist.

The laugh faded and his eyes filled with something intense that had Alec’s heart constricting painfully in his chest. Magnus’ thumb traced over Alec’s bottom lip. “God, you were so beautiful,” he whispered. His eyes searched Alec’s face. “You _are_ so beautiful, Alexander.”

“I’ve missed you,” Alec admitted, closing his eyes, as he relished his full name on Magnus’ lips once again. Then he looked Manus straight in the eye as he said, “I fucked up so badly, Magnus. So badly—”

Magnus cut him off with a deep, drugging kiss.

“Show me, Alexander. Show me how much you’ve missed me.”

_Gladly._

Alec held on to Magnus as he stepped into the tub. The tub was only half-full, so he left the faucet running. He kissed Magnus until he was grinding heavily against him. He tried to ease them both to a sitting position in the tub but when they ended up in a less-than-graceful heap at the bottom of it, they both burst out laughing.

“We need to work on that,” Magnus suggested as he lay sprawled against Alec’s chest.

“Now I know why there aren’t more bathtub porn scenes out there,” Alec groaned.

Magnus dropped his forehead to Alec’s chest as they both had a good chuckle. But then his mouth was closing over Alec’s nipple and all his humor fled. Alec dropped his head back against the edge of the tub. He gripped Magnus’ ass with both his hands as he teased Alec’s skin with soft licks, kisses, and nibbles.

“It might not have been pretty, but I think we stuck the landing,” Magnus whispered as he made his way back up Alec’s broad chest and covered his mouth with his.

Their positions meant their dicks were mashed together. As Magnus began grinding against him, water began to slosh all around them. Alec managed to straighten enough that he could wrap his arms around Magnus’ waist. The tub was wide enough that he was able to straddle Alec with room to spare.

“I fucking love this tub,” Alec ground out as Magnus slid his ass back and forth over Alec’s cock.

Magnus grabbed Alec’s ears and lifted his face so he could kiss Alec the way he wanted. Alec was happy to cede control to him, but when Magnus shifted their bodies so the head of Alec’s cock was pressed against his hole, Alec was done.

He snagged the lube from where he’d had the sense to place it on the edge of the tub. “Lift up,” Alec growled. Magnus instantly rose up on his knees, but he kept right on kissing Alec as Alec took a few minutes to get Magnus ready then he lubed his dick up. Alec then held his cock in place as he said, “Ride me, sweetheart.”

Magnus’ luminous eyes went dark with lust as he locked his gaze with Alec’s. As he lowered himself, he never closed his eyes, never looked away, either. It was only when Alec was fully seated inside of him that he threw his head back and moaned Alec’s name.

He wrapped an arm around Magnus to support his body. The other hand threaded through his hair so he could drag Magnus down for a kiss. “Who do you belong to?” Alec growled as he held Magnus in place.

“You,” Magnus said without hesitation.

Alec loosened his hold on Magnus enough that he could lift his hips a bit before dropping them down. Then Alec stopped his movements again.

“Who?” Alec growled.

“You,” Magnus called. The second Alec eased his hold on him again, he was lifting his body. He cried out when Alec jammed his hips up at the same time that he lowered himself.

“Who?”

“You, Alexander!” Magnus cried.

Alec repeated the move over and over again until Magnus was writhing desperately against him, begging Alec to fuck him harder.

“Who do you belong to, Magnus? Forever.”

Magnus opened his gorgeous eyes and grabbed Alec’s face. His pupils were blown but there was no mistaking the emotion in them. It made Alec’s chest hurt in the best way possible.

“You, Alexander. Only you. Forever you.” He kissed Alec softly.

Alec finally gave him what he wanted and relaxed his hold on Magnus’ waist enough that he could move freely. Magnus whimpered and cradled Alec’s face with his hands as his hips began to move. Alec put his hands on Magnus’ hips but didn’t do anything to control his movements. He let Magnus fuck him exactly the way Magnus wanted.

And it was pure perfection.

Magnus gasped and cried out as he rode Alec with slow, smooth glides.

“Alexander?” he breathed against Alec’s mouth.

“I’ve got you, baby,” Alec murmured. He loved the feel of Magnus’ warm body over him, and he caressed Magnus’ thighs, while he slowly began to thrust inside of him. He slid his hand up to Magnus’ hips so he could hold him in place as he thrust into him even slower. Magnus cried out in pleasure. It was delicious torment for several minutes until Magnus whispered, “harder, Alexander.” Alec was more than happy to give Magnus exactly what he wanted as he began to fuck Magnus without mercy. Water spilled over the edges of the tub, but neither of them cared.

The harder Alec fucked him, the harder Magnus tried to get him even deeper. His whimpers soon turned to pleas and those soon turned to demands that Alec fuck him harder. By the time their orgasms rolled over them at virtually the same time, Alec was sitting up with his arms wrapped tight around Magnus’ body and he was holding on to Alec for all he was worth. Alec let out a ragged curse as he came inside of Magnus. The water made it impossible to feel Magnus’ cum on him, but his spasming body told Alec what he needed to know.

When it was finally over and they sat there trying to catch their breath, Magnus softly asked, “Who do _you_ belong to, Alexander?”

Alec ran his palm up and down Magnus’ back and waited until his silence forced Magnus to look him in the eye because Alec wanted him to see everything Alec couldn’t say when he answered Magnus. When Magnus finally did pull back just a little so he could see Alec, Alec whispered, “You, Magnus. I belong to you. Forever and always.”

Magnus’ hand came up to cup his cheek. His eyes looked wet as he slowly nodded his head. Then his mouth was on Alec’s and Alec knew Magnus had heard him.

_Magnus had heard everything._


	9. Chapter: 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guy's
> 
> 1\. Sorry I haven't been able to respond to comments on the last chapter but please know yet again, I've read every one and they really get me super-excited.
> 
> 2\. Gosh, I can't believe only one more chapter to go... 😱
> 
> 3\. On another note though, I have a little side story as to how Simon and Jace got together. It'll be about 2-3 chapters long and will be ready in a few days. I'm really nervous about it, so, I really hope you like it.
> 
> 4\. Ok, so here we go.... ❤️ ❤️ 
> 
> \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Nothing had really changed and yet _everything_ had changed.

Nothing had changed in the sense that Alec hadn't said those three little words Magnus had been hoping to hear. But Magnus hadn't said them either.

From the outside, it would've looked like they had just picked up where they’d left off before Alec had walked out on him, but nothing was further from the truth. In that sense, everything really _had_ changed. For starters, even though Alec hadn't told him he loved him, he'd said so many things as he’d held Magnus in his arms and declared himself Magnus’.

He _was_ Magnus’. But he was so much more than that. The man who'd barged into his life was once again at his side. Alec was the man he'd needed in the past ten days, but he hadn't known how to tell him that. He'd hated how Alec constantly apologized to him and meekly asked things of him rather than demanding them or insisting on them. He hadn't been the Alec Magnus had fallen in love with. Magnus hadn't had the guts to just tell him that, though, so Magnus behaved like an ill-mannered child. He definitely hadn't gone about it the right way, but he’d gotten what he wanted in the end.

They’d stayed in the bathtub for quite a while. Alec had carefully washed Magnus’ entire body as he'd lain against Alec’s chest. They hadn't spoken at all, but it hadn't really mattered.

Magnus had been worried that once they got out of the tub, things would go back to the way they'd been in the early weeks of their relationship. But he'd known as soon as Alec had grabbed a couple of towels that things would be different. For starters, he'd dried Magnus off and Magnus had done the same for him. Then he’d taken Magnus’ hand in his and led Magnus to his bed. It was early, so Magnus hadn't planned on going to sleep, but he had waited for Alec to eventually get up and leave like he had in the past. But they’d been lying in bed for over an hour and Alec was still tucked up behind Magnus, his arm around Magnus’ chest and his mouth resting against the back of Magnus’ neck. He could tell from Alec’s breathing that he wasn't asleep. There was also the fact that he kept pressing soft kisses to Magnus’ neck and shoulder every few minutes.

"Tell me what it was like for you growing up," Magnus said softly. He knew he was risking their newfound peace, but he desperately wanted to know more about the man he had fallen so deeply in love with.

"What do you want to know?"

"What was your life like?" Magnus asked. It didn't surprise him in the least that Alec would need some prodding. He doubted he was used to talking about himself.

"It wasn’t pretty, Magnus."

He was glad that Alec kept rubbing his fingers over his and nuzzling his skin. It meant he wasn't upset about sharing bits of himself with Magnus.

"What does that mean?" Magnus asked.

“We became a cliché. A father who lost himself in a bottle every night, a mother who disappeared into her mind more and more, and two kids who didn't have a clue how to survive it all."

"Your father hurt you," Magnus murmured. It was information he already knew, but despite the ugliness of the subject, he needed to hear all of it.

"We didn't talk in our household. For good reason. Our father liked quiet. If Jace or I disturbed that quiet, we paid for it. I always tried to explain to Jace that when Dad got home from work, we needed to stay in our rooms. But he was just a little kid and he thought that if he could stop our father from drinking then maybe things would be different. He didn't understand that our father was mean long before the alcohol hit his bloodstream."

"Silence in my house was always a bad sign," Magnus found himself saying.

"What do you mean?" Alec asked.

"Our fathers suffered from the same affliction," Magnus responded.

Alec's arm tightened around him. "He hurt you?"

“Not physically, no.”

"Tell me," Alec insisted.

Magnus hadn't meant for the topic to change to him, but he knew that if he wanted Alec to share things about his childhood with him, he would need to do the same. “He’d get lost in his own head when it was quiet. At least that's what I thought, anyway. He'd sit there eating his dinner and then just out of the blue he'd explode. He'd start throwing things and yelling at me and my mom. He didn’t hit me, but the things he said… the names he called me…” Magnus paused because even now he could hear his cruel words.

Alec pressed a kiss to the nape of Magnus’ neck and that alone helped Magnus focus on the perfection of the present rather than the pain of the past.

“One moment he was quiet and totally normal and the next he was a monster. So I thought that if I could keep him talking, or even just listening, maybe I could stop it from happening. I hated the silence. I feared it. It took me a long time to realize that it didn't matter how much I talked or what I said. Whatever was inside of him needed to come out and he chose for it to come out in the form of cruelty."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"I didn't have to deal with it long," Magnus said. "My parents kicked me out when I was sixteen. My dad caught me kissing a boy who lived a few doors down from us."

"What did you do?"

"Spent a few days on the streets. That's when I met George." It wasn’t until he said George’s name that he realized what he was doing. "I'm sorry, you probably don't want to hear about him."

Magnus was surprised when Alec rolled him on his back and stroked his thumb over the ring on his finger. "I want to hear everything about you. George is part of you. That makes him part of _us_. I want to know more about the man who holds a piece of your heart."

Alec’s words not only surprised him but moved him too. Magnus felt tears stinging his eyes but managed to hold them back. "He would've liked you," Magnus admitted. "Even though you guys are so very different, you're a lot alike too. He was protective like you. And he had a good heart like you." The tears he'd been trying to stem fell anyway. Alec wiped them away with his fingers.

"He loved you, so he was obviously a very smart man." Alec leaned down and brushed a kiss across Magnus’ mouth. "Tell me about when you first met him."

Alec lowered himself back down to the bed and positioned them so they were now facing one another. Magnus loved how Alec kept touching him in various ways.

"Some older kids were hassling me under a bridge. They were trying to roll me for what little money I had on me. George stopped them. He told me to go home, but when I told him I couldn't, he arranged to get me into a shelter. He wanted to get Child Protective Services involved, but I wasn't interested in a foster or group home. When I threatened to run away if he called them, he backed off. But he came back to the shelter the following day and told me he had a line on a job for me. It was nothing fancy… just a job sorting mail for this big investment company. But it was enough. I filed for emancipation from my parents and got my GED. Once that happened, I was able to get an apartment and stuff. I didn't see George again for a few years. When I ran into him, he didn't even recognize me. I was eighteen and in my first year of college. We started hanging out as friends, but I knew I wanted more. Turned out, he did too. He saved my life. He _gave_ me my life."

As he’d been talking, Magnus dropped his eyes to where he'd been rubbing his thumb along the inside of Alec’s elbow. Magnus lifted them to see if Alec was annoyed by his story, but he didn't look angry. He looked… fascinated.

"What about you?"

"What about me?" he asked.

"What was other parts of your home life like? I already know that your father hurt you and your brother. When were you able to get away from him?"

"With money as tight as it was and Jace being so little, I couldn't really just take him away. I didn't finish high school. I dropped out when I was fifteen and got a job. Our father was spending what little money he was earning on booze. By that time, I was big enough that he knew better than to come after me. But being at work meant Jace was vulnerable. I thought my threats would be enough to keep Jace safe, but they weren't. It wasn't until I actually beat the shit out of dear old Dad one night after finding Jace covered in bruises that things finally changed. Our old man left Jace alone after that. Once Jace was old enough, we left home. Jace and I joined the Army. You know what happened after that."

"What about relationships?" Magnus asked. When Alec tensed, he knew he'd overstepped, so he quickly said, "I'm sorry, Alec, we don't need to talk about this." He pulled his hand away from Alec’s because he figured Alec would want to put some distance between them, but his fingers closed around Magnus’ to stop him. Instead of pulling back, Alec shifted even closer to him. Their bodies were aligned and their mouths were just inches from each other.

He seemed pained as he closed his eyes and said, "Yeah, we do."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"There were no relationships," Alec said as he drew Magnus even closer to him. "I hate talking about myself," Alec admitted. "So even if I had been in a position to pursue a relationship, it never would've worked."

"So there was never anyone special?" Magnus asked.

Alec shook his head. "Life was about survival. That's what it's always been about. I had to survive my parents. Then it was about keeping Jace safe and healthy. I didn't have time for attachments. I didn't want the responsibility, either. I wanted to be able to fuck a guy and then go back to the way things had been. I couldn't risk turning into _him_."

"Him?" Magnus asked softly. "Do you mean your father?"

Alec closed his eyes and nodded. "I knew I was like him the first time I stood over him. I _wanted_ to hurt him. Jace was safe, I was safe, but I still wanted to hurt him. I wanted him to suffer and to feel pain and to be afraid like I'd been. It wasn't just about protecting myself or my brother, it was about vengeance."

"And you think that makes you like him?"

"I know it does," Alec said. He forced himself to open his eyes and look at Magnus. It was a conversation he’d never wanted to have with Magnus, but he knew he had no choice. "You’ve seen the rage for yourself. You’ve seen that I can't control it."

"I've seen a man who’s carried too much on his shoulders for far too long. You're allowed to be angry, Alexander. You're allowed to hate the world. You're allowed to want revenge for all the terrible things that were done to you and your little brother. But tell me this. Have you ever _acted_ on it? Have you just, out of the blue, taken that anger out on someone who didn't deserve it? Someone innocent?"

"It's only a matter of time," Alec murmured. He felt cold and ugly inside. He tried to pull away from Magnus, but his arm snaked around Alec’s waist.

"Your brother is a good man, Alexander. From what I can tell, Raphael is a good man. And I like to think that I'm a good man. That's three good men who care about you. Who don't believe for even a second that you would ever hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it. Who don't believe you are anything like the man who raised you. His blood may run in your veins, just like my father's does in mine, but we _are not them_. Do you want to know what I think about you, Alexander?" Magnus asked as he brushed a kiss over Alec’s mouth.

Alec managed a nod.

"I think you feel _everything_. I think you feel it in yourself even when it isn't about you. I think you saw what your comrades did to those women and children and it was like it had been done to you. I think you saw that gun being put to Madzie's head and it was like it was against your own. That's a lot to feel, my love. It's a lot to hold in. I know you weren't allowed to feel as a child, but it's safe now. _You're_ safe now. And you're not alone anymore. No matter what happens between us, I will always be a safe place for you."

His words were almost too much to take in all at once. But Alec knew what he was saying was true. Alec had instinctively known from the moment that he'd seen him that Magnus would be his safe place. He'd passed it off as _obsession_ , but it hadn't been that at all.

Magnus was his sanctuary.

Alec was at a loss for words, so he could do nothing more than draw Magnus into his arms and hold him tight. When Magnus softly asked, “Stay with me tonight?" Alec could only nod.

No one, not Victor, not his own insecurities, not even God himself could tear him away from Magnus.

It didn't take long for their embrace to turn into something more. For the first time, Alec made love to Magnus. He took his time cherishing every inch of Magnus’ body before starting all over again. He took Magnus to the edge over and over, but never sent him flying. It wasn't until they were wrapped around one another, their naked bodies drenched with sweat and shaking uncontrollably, that Alec finally sent them both over the edge. The orgasm was violent and unrelenting. When it did finally come to an end, Alec collapsed on top of Magnus. Alec somehow managed to separate from Magnus long enough to allow his dick to slip free of his body, but then he was back in Magnus’ arms and he happily allowed sleep to claim him as Magnus whispered soft nothings into his ear.

When Alec next opened his eyes, he knew it was only because he was caught up what felt like the perfect of dreams. Magnus’ soft mouth was wrapped around his painfully hard cock. The soft hairs from his goatee were torturing the base of Alec’s shaft every time Magnus took him to the back of his throat. He threaded his fingers through Magnus’ hair, but made no effort to control him as he slid his mouth up and down Alec’s length. Alec didn't need to control him. The man was an expert at giving head.

Alec was close to bursting when Magnus suddenly lifted his head, releasing his cock with a pop. He fully expected Magnus to straddle him and take Alec inside his body, but Magnus caught him off guard when he covered Alec’s mouth with his and then said, "Lift your legs."

Alec did as he said without hesitation. Magnus kissed him hard and deep and then he was moving between Alec’s legs. Alec braced his head on his arm so he could watch Magnus. It was the most gorgeous sight to wake up to. Magnus nuzzled his balls and then he was taking each one into his mouth. Alec let out a ragged curse and lifted his hips to give him better access. But his balls weren't Magnus’ ultimate target.

"Jesus, fuck!" Alec shouted when Magnus’ hot tongue licked over his opening. He'd never let any guy rim him and it wasn't something he'd done to anyone else, so he should've been more freaked out by the whole thing. But when Magnus closed his mouth over his entrance and kissed him in the same way he kissed Alec’s mouth, Alec knew he was a goner. On the one hand, he had no clue what had possessed him to not engage in this particular act before, but on the other, he was beyond glad that this was a first he could share with Magnus.

"Magnus, please," Alec begged as Magnus licked and slurped and kissed the most intimate part of Alec. He'd never in his life begged a man for anything, but in that moment, he was willing to give Magnus anything he wanted. He had Alec tied up that tight.

Magnus’ mouth returned to Alec’s dick, but his hole wasn't left forgotten. No, Magnus’ fingers were there teasing Alec’s entrance as he applied an impossible amount of suction to Alec’s cock. Alec closed his eyes and lost himself in all of the sensations that were bombarding his body at once. What was happening to him was further proof that he needed Magnus to be the first guy, the only guy, to fuck him.

Alec was at the point where he was about to beg him to do just that when Magnus suddenly slipped the tip of his finger inside of him. It was enough to cause Alec to blow. Alec shouted and fisted the bedsheets as he came in Magnus’ mouth. The act of Magnus swallowing his release made the orgasm go on and on. By the time it was over, Alec was sacked out on the bed, nothing more than skin and bone. Magnus took his time crawling up Alec’s body. When Magnus’ mouth covered his, Alec was greeted with a few drops of his own release. He’d done the very same thing to Magnus what now seemed a lifetime ago.

"Good morning," Magnus finally said after he'd fed Alec every drop of himself that Magnus had saved for him.

"Mmmm,” was all Alec managed to get out. Magnus smiled against his mouth. It filled Alec with pure joy. He thought about what Magnus had said the night before about him feeling too much. If he was right, then Alec wondered what it would be like to feel too much of this… too much pleasure, too much happiness, too much contentedness. Alec couldn't fathom such a thing, but he knew if it were possible, it would happen with Magnus. It would happen _because_ of Magnus.

"What do you want to do for our date today?" Magnus asked.

"We're doing it," Alec murmured.

Magnus chuckled and dropped his head on his arms which he’d crossed over Alec’s chest. "Do you think we can get Raphael on board?"

"Raphael's not getting his board anywhere near you," Alec growled and then he rolled them so he was on top of Magnus.

"That's not what I—" was all he managed to get out before Alec kissed him. Alec could feel Magnus’ erection against him. The fact that Magnus had been so focused on him that he hadn't taken care of himself in the process made Alec ridiculously happy.

"I'm sure date number eleven is the stay-naked-in-bed-all-day date. If not, it should be." Alec reached his hand between their bodies and closed it around Magnus’ dick. Magnus groaned and arched his back.

"No argument here," Magnus managed to get out. Alec stroked him several more times as he teased his mouth with soft kisses.

"Okay, so I'll go talk to him." he released Magnus and made a move to get off the bed.

"What? Now?" Magnus practically yelled. Alec managed to cover his smile as Magnus grabbed his arm. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Am I?" Alec asked.

Magnus tugged him back on top of him. "Finish what you started, you tease."

Alec brushed a kiss over his mouth and said, "Okay, but just so you know, Raphael will probably be knocking on the door any minute now. I can either take care of this"—he gave Magnus’ dick a firm tug—"now, or I can talk to Raphael and arrange our naked stay in bed day and then take care of you when I get back."

Magnus arched his brows. "How is that a choice? Take care of me now, dammit," he demanded.

Alec chuckled and said, "Oh, did I forget to mention that when I get back, it won’t be my hand or my mouth that will be taking care of this beauty?" He said as he teasingly stroked his finger along Magnus’ cock.

It took Magnus a good seven seconds to understand what Alec was saying. It was nearly comical when his eyes shifted to Alec’s backside. "Asshole," he growled and then he was shoving Alec away. "Go, go. Get us our naked-stay-in-bed day and then get that gorgeous ass of yours back here."

Alec laughed and climbed off the bed. He went to the bathroom to grab his pants but didn't bother putting them on right away. He made sure to stop in the doorway so he could slowly bend over and pull the pants on in full view of the bed. He heard Magnus let out an angry curse and then a pillow hit Alec… square in the back.

Alec left the room with a grin on his face, but the second he reached the kitchen and saw Raphael standing just inside the door, his expression grim, all Alec’s happiness went up in a cloud of smoke and the old Alec, the one who knew darkness could only be fought with darkness, returned.

_Victor had finally come_.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

There was a part of Magnus that was terrified that all of this was some dream he was going to wake up from any moment now. He'd fallen in love with broody, demanding, distant Alec weeks ago and with little effort on his part, so how was Magnus ever going to survive what he was feeling for funny, sweet, charming Alec? If someone had told him weeks ago that he'd be lying in bed waiting for the most gorgeous man on the planet to return to it so he could finally have him in every way possible, Magnus would have asked them what they'd been smoking. But that moment was here, and he felt as giddy and nervous as a teenager.

This first for Alec would also be a first for him and he didn't want to screw it up. He also didn't want to do anything to damage the newfound footing they'd finally managed to find themselves on.

"Don't overthink it, Magnus," he murmured to himself.

Of course, that was a lot easier said than done.

Maybe he should shower first. Or at least brush his teeth? And where was the lube? Was there enough of it left? We hadn't been using condoms, but what if Alec wanted him to wear one the first time? He didn’t have any but maybe Alec did?

"Get a grip," Magnus muttered to himself. He listened for footsteps in the hall, but when he heard nothing, he quickly climbed out of the bed and hurried to the bathroom. He laughed out loud when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He looked so well-loved. He grinned like an idiot as he ran his fingers through his hair. He made quick work of brushing his teeth and taking a quick shower before hurrying back to the bed. He grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms to put on, though he wasn't really sure why.

He shook his head as he dragged the pants on. He climbed back onto the bed and began arranging the duvet over his lap when his phone began ringing on his nightstand. It wasn't the burner phone, though, it was his real phone. He was tempted to ignore it, but since he didn't hear any movement outside the door indicating that Alec was on his way back down the hallway, he reached for the phone to check the caller ID.

He was surprised to see his daughter’s name on the phone. Her communication board had a feature built in where she could call him, but Magnus just assumed that Simon would've told her to tell him if she wanted to talk to Magnus. That way, Simon could set the call up through the burner phone.

"Madzie, sweatpea," Magnus said as he answered the phone. "It's Daddy. Is everything okay?"

There was a long beat of silence, but Magnus knew better than to worry. It just meant that Madzie was in the process of selecting her words from the communication board. It would take a moment for the computer to translate that into words.

"Bad man, Daddy. Bad man. Here."

Magnus’ heart immediately lodged in his throat. He threw the covers aside as he said, "What, Madzie? Did you say bad man?"

"Bad man, Daddy. Bad man."

"You've got a fucking computer for a voice, kid, and that's the best you can do? Bad man?" a strange voice said. Magnus’ insides froze as he realized what was happening. He covered the microphone on the cell phone and climbed out of bed, then yelled Alec's name out the door.

"Daddy, you listening?" the voice said again. It was definitely an adult male's voice. Magnus knew in his gut who the owner was.

"Please, please don't hurt her," Magnus whispered, switching the phone to speaker mode with trembling fingers.

"Good, you can hear me," the man said.

"Victor, please, she's just a little girl."

There was a momentary pause in which Magnus could hear Madzie crying. He had to cover his mouth to stifle his own sobs. He could hear footsteps coming down the hall, but they seemed far away.

"So you know who I am," Victor observed. "Where's your new boy toy, Magnus?"

"Madzie, honey, Daddy's here. Daddy’s gonna come get you, okay?" Magnus said.

"Where is he?" Victor demanded.

"I'm here," Alec said from behind Magnus. At some point, Magnus sunk to the floor and pulled his knees up to his chest. He had his fingers wrapped around his cell phone like it was his only lifeline to his child. In reality, that was exactly what it was.

"Alec, it's been too long."

"Let's meet up," Alec responded, his voice strangely calm.

"You know that isn't how this works," Victor returned.

"I know you need to see me to get off on all this," Alec said. "Tell me where you are."

"You know where I am."

Magnus managed to turn his head enough to look at Alec. Despite the calmness in his voice, the rage was written all across his face. For once, Magnus had no desire to help him tamp it down.

"I'm coming," was all Alec said. None of it really made any sense to Magnus. How could he know where Victor was? But in the end, he didn't really care. He just needed his kids back. He'd heard Madzie's voice, but not Simon's or Jace’s. What had happened to them? Were they okay? Were they with Madzie?

"Don't forget to bring the boyfriend," Victor said.

"No," Alec said instantly. His voice faltered just a bit. Magnus began shaking his head because he was absolutely going with him. He kids were out there.

Victor made a tsking sound. "Now you know that's not how this works, Alec. You have a choice to make. If you want to see the kid or her brother again, you'll come prepared to make that choice."

With that, the phone disconnected. "No, wait," Magnus said, but it was too late.

"What about Simon? What about Jace?" Magnus asked Alec, then Raphael who Magnus finally noticed standing in the doorway.

Alec took the phone from Magnus’ hand but didn't say anything. Fine, he'd find out for himself. He rushed to his dresser and pulled out a shirt and some jeans. He didn't care that Raphael was standing right there as he began changing into the clothes.

"You're not going," Alec snapped as he grabbed Magnus’ arm. Magnus hadn't even heard him move into the room.

"Yes, I am," Magnus responded. He looked at the phone as if that were actually the man who was threatening to destroy his entire life by taking the people he cherished the most. "He wants you to choose. Between me and Jace, right? That's the choice he wants you to make. And he wants to watch you make it. Just like he wants to watch you suffer when he hurts the one you chose."

Alec didn't answer, but Magnus didn't really need one anyway. He yanked his pants on. As soon as he got them closed, he poked his finger against Alec’s naked chest. "You're going to choose me, do you hear me? You're going to choose me and then you're going to get my children and your brother out of there. That's it. No debate, no argument. I don't care how, but you're going to make that happen. You're going to save my children because you know that's what I need. If you love me even just a little bit, you will do this for me. Do you understand me?"

Magnus expected an argument. He was mentally and physically prepared for one.

What he wasn't prepared for was for Alec to grab his arm and drag Magnus against him as he said, "I hear you. I'm going to get them out of there and I'm going to get you out of there and when this is over, I'm going to prove to you that a little bit doesn't even begin to describe how much I love you. Do _you_ understand _me_?"

Under any other circumstances, his declaration would've had Magnus celebrating with joy. But all it did was remind Magnus how much he was really going to lose when this all ended the way he knew it would.

Magnus closed his eyes, held the back of Alec’s neck and leaned their foreheads together. Alec kissed him hard and then he disappeared into the bathroom so he could retrieve his shirt from the night before. He was tugging it on as he came back out of the bathroom. "How did this happen?" Alec asked Raphael.

"Not sure," the man said. "I just got the call a few minutes ago from one of my men. Victor managed to get inside the house where Jace and Simon are staying with Madzie. He killed one of my guys and used a vehicle fire to distract a couple of the other men. From what they can tell, Victor was able to get into Madzie's room through a window, but that doesn't make any sense because Jace would've made sure all the windows and doors were locked before they went to bed."

"Madzie loves open windows" Magnus murmured. "She likes the sound of the bugs at night, so she would have left her window opened.

"That doesn't explain how Victor found them!" Alec snapped impatiently. Magnus automatically reached his hand out to Alec. He took it without hesitation and linked their fingers. Magnus’ intent had been to calm him, but he needed Alec’s strength just as badly.

"My guess is Victor was able to track them using the communication board that Madzie uses," Raphael said. He shifted his gaze to Magnus and asked, "That's how she called you just now, isn't it?"

Magnus felt sick to his stomach as he nodded. Raphael had made it clear before Simon and Jace had left that neither could have their regular cell phones on them, just the burner phone. It hadn't even occurred to Magnus that Madzie's communication board had a cellular connection. "Oh God, this is my fault," Magnus whispered.

"This is not your fault," Alec said angrily. "When this is over, you can put the blame where it belongs. On me. That's it. Do you hear me?"

"Every single one of us can claim responsibility for this," Raphael said. "I should've realized the communication board was a potential way for Victor to track them. Just like I should've planned for them to come under possible attack. But I assumed Victor would come after you two."

"Just tell me how we’re going to get my children and Jace back," Magnus said.

"By giving Victor what he wants," Alec said.

"Me," Magnus said with a nod.

"No, not you," Alec responded. " _Me._ "

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Alec knew, nothing about this mission would be easy. First off, he couldn't even think of it as a mission. Not like the ones from his past, anyway. Missions like that required a certain lack of emotion and there was no place for fear when it came to that kind of operation.

Alec was failing on both levels. He was beyond terrified for his brother, Simon, and of course little Madzie. The idea that all three of them were in mortal danger because of him was making it hard to process any kind of information. In the Army, strategy had come as naturally to him as breathing. But this wasn't the Army and the three people inside the small cabin far away from the city weren’t just friendlies in need of rescue. They were his family. Each and every one of them.

Although the cabin was remote, it was easy to see how Victor had managed to get into the place. There were multiple footpaths leading up to the back of the cabin and there was plenty of bush where he could've hidden in wait for the operative he'd ended up taking out. The young man he'd murdered in cold blood had been new to the team and had been charged with driving Magnus’ van when Simon and Jace had taken Madzie out and about throughout the day. After killing the driver, Victor had set the van on fire about a hundred yards from the cabin. By the time Raphael’s men had returned to the cabin and entered it to do a routine search, Victor had already been inside and had overpowered Jace and Simon with next to no effort since all he’d had to do was threaten Madzie's life.

That was where things stood now. Jace, his lover, and Magnus’ daughter were in a windowless room in the cabin. The only communication they had with Victor was through the board attached to Madzie's computer. There was no roof access or any other way to get in the room except through the door. Which meant there would be no element of surprise. Alec figured as much as they’d made the trip to the cabin. They’d taken Raphael's jet, so it had only taken them an hour or so to reach their destination, but it had still been the longest hour of his entire life.

Magnus was managing to keep it together, but he hadn't said more than a couple of words here and there. Alec hoped that by the time they reached the cabin that they’d come up with some kind of plan where he wouldn't have to put Magnus in danger, but the more Raphael's men briefed them, the more he knew there was really only one option. He and Magnus would both have to go in. Alec’s hope was that he could convince Victor that he didn't need anyone but him in that room with him.

Alec went to Magnus where he was sitting in the back seat of the SUV they’d been using as their makeshift command center. He was clinging to the phone that was the only access to their family members. Alec reached out to brush his fingers over Magnus’ temple. "It's time, baby," Alec murmured.

Magnus’ moves were stiff and slow as he released his grip on the phone and handed it to Alec. Alec dialed the last number that had called into the phone and waited.

"Hi honey, are you home yet?" Victor asked, his voice almost giddy.

The fact that the man could be so casual about the whole thing told Alec he'd gone off the deep end. Alec couldn't help but wonder if it'd been the pictures of him appearing to be happy or if it was the fact that he'd been happy _with Magnus_ that had set him off.

"Let the kid go," Alec said.

"Did you bring me what I wanted?" Victor asked.

"I'm here," Magnus said before Alec could respond. "Please, please just let Madzie go. She has nothing to do with this."

"I'll let the little mute go as soon as you two lovebirds keep your end of the deal."

Alec wanted to punch something. No, not something, Victor. He wanted to wrap his hands around his neck and squeeze until the death he carried in his eyes was the real thing.

"We’re coming in," Alec said. He tossed the phone aside because he knew they wouldn't need it anymore. He reached for Magnus’ hand, though all he really wanted to do was lock him in the car where Alec knew he’d be safe. He hated having to put Magnus in danger in order to get the rest of their family out of it, but he had no choice. He needed to not let that sense of helplessness feed into his actions. He couldn't be Alec, the man Magnus saw him as. He needed to be Alec, the effective killer who had nothing to lose.

"When we get in there, don't say a word. If I say drop, you drop to the ground. If I say run, you don't look back. Do you understand me?" He said to Magnus. Alec expected him to argue, but all he did was nod his head.

Alec pulled him to a stop and forced Magnus to look at him. He grabbed Magnus’ chin and said, "Tell me you’re here with me one hundred percent, Magnus. I _am not_ losing you today. I need to know that you're in this with me."

Something finally sparked to life in Magnus’ eyes. He nodded quickly and said, "I'm here, Alexander. If you say drop, I drop. If you say run, I run. I trust you to end this for good. To save our family."

Alec breathed a sigh of relief and then kissed him hard before taking his hand again and leading him to the cabin. They were surrounded by Raphael's men, but he knew it didn't matter. Victor wasn't planning to leave this house alive. The question was, who would he be taking with him? If Alec had his way, it wouldn't be any of them. While he might not have had a healthy fear of dying when he'd been in the Army, everything had changed when he'd laid eyes on the man who was willingly walking into hell with him. Like he’d told Jace, he might not have known what the fuck love was, but he knew that whatever it was, Magnus was it for him. Even if he wasn't deserving of him, Magnus still belonged to him and him to Magnus. He’d made his choice last night and Alec had made his the moment he'd stepped out of the shadows in Magnus’ backyard.

Once they reached the cabin, Alec forced himself to release Magnus’ hand and focused on steadying his breathing. He was glad when his instincts took over as they entered the building. He took note of all the entry and exit points as well as different items he could use as a weapon if need be. There hadn't been any point to try and sneak a weapon in on their person because the first thing Victor would do would be to make sure they were unarmed. But if Alec could get him out into the open part of the cabin, at least he'd have some items at his disposal that could slow Victor down and give everyone else a chance to escape.

Once they reached the back room where Victor was keeping Magnus’ kids and Jace, Alec used the last few seconds they had to try and cast out the fear and helplessness he was feeling. He would've loved to have held Magnus for those few moments, but he needed to try and quiet his mind. It was like Magnus had said, he had a tendency to feel too much and let it get bottled up. That emotion often translated to anger, but he couldn't afford that in this situation. He needed to keep a cool head. He needed to be able to identify any opportunity, no matter how fleeting, to end all of this.

But try as he might, his heart refused to let him get off that easy. Just as he lifted his hand to rap his knuckles on the door in front of them, his eyes automatically went to Magnus. Magnus’ eyes were already on Alec and in that second just before Alec’s hand came into contact with the wood, Magnus mouthed something to him. It wasn't until his knuckles hit the door that his brain processed what Magnus had said.

_I love you._


	10. Chapter: 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys...
> 
> 1\. My goal was to complete these 10 chapters in 10 weeks so you can imagine my excitement when I realized this is week 9 and I'm done.
> 
> 2\. Gosh... This is so emotional... 🥺... You guys have made this first experience so incredible. 
> 
> 3\. To those who wanted fair warning... This is the chapter where Magnus tops for the first time. You won't miss much if you choose to skip that part cos it's at the end of this chapter.
> 
> 4\. If you're ok with reading about how Jace and Simon met, there is a little back story I've put up, called 'Safe' so if you do read it, please let me know what you think... 🙏
> 
> 5\. Love you all and please take care... 😘❤️🙏

Maybe Magnus shouldn't have said it to him, but he couldn't regret it. If there was even a chance that this whole thing wouldn't end the way he wanted it to, he needed Alec to know how deep his feelings for him ran. After losing George, Magnus hadn't thought he'd ever be able to love someone the way he’d loved him, but the truth was standing before him.

Or next to him, rather.

And just like with George, Magnus stood to lose everything. He couldn't even imagine how he'd recover from losing his kids or Alec. Chances are, he wouldn't.

He forced himself to focus on what was happening in the present. Strangely enough, he had no clue how warm or cold it was, he couldn't really smell anything, the few sounds he did hear were dulled, and he barely noticed anything that made up his surroundings.

All that was changed when the door in front of them finally opened after what seemed like a prolonged conversation between Alec and Victor that came down to the instructions for them entering the room.

The first thing he saw was an eerily familiar scene that he'd hoped never again to witness in his lifetime. Just like with Sebastian, his little girl was staring helplessly at him as the barrel of a gun rested against her temple. Magnus managed to choke back a sob.

"Hey sweatpea, Daddy's here. We’re going to go home soon, okay?"

Madzie didn't respond. Instead, she closed her eyes and held them shut. Magnus didn't know what that meant, but he was grateful for it. He chanced a glance to the right and saw Simon and Jace both on their knees, their faces against the wall. They had their hands tied behind their backs with zip ties. Their feet were also bound and they seem to be gagged as well.

Both men were covered in bruises, but otherwise appeared to be unhurt. Madzie, thankfully, had no bruises or cuts on her at all.

The man behind Madzie was actually crouched at her back. Magnus figured it was to keep someone from shooting him as they entered the door since he would've been an easy target if he'd been standing. The position he was in meant that Madzie blocked most of him from view. That in itself scared Magnus more than he wanted to admit. With Sebastian, he’d been so far gone in the head that he hadn't taken measures like that. Victor was ex-Army and he'd already proven his skill by killing one of Raphael's men. Add in his sadistic streak, and Magnus knew the chances of any of them getting out of this unharmed were slim to none.

"Strip," Victor said. "Both of you."

Magnus glanced at Alec and saw him instantly begin removing his clothes. Magnus did the same. It wasn't until they were completely naked that Victor seemed somewhat satisfied. Magnus also didn't miss the fact that Victor’s eyes lingered on Alec. If he hadn't been so terrified, Magnus most definitely would've been jealous.

"Get dressed," Victor said with a wave of his gun.

Magnus’ fingers shook violently as he hurried to get redressed.

"Let the kid go now, Victor," Alec said, his voice even and cool.

Victor smiled smugly and then all of a sudden, he tossed something at Magnus. He instinctively caught it and realized it was zip ties. "Tie him up," he said. "Do it right and your kid gets to leave."

The fact that his daughter’s life depended on his ability to work zip ties was like the cruelest of ironies.

"Just breathe," Alec said softly and then he was turning his back to Magnus. He held his hands out behind him. When Magnus looked down at the zip ties, he realized they were already looped so all he had to do was slip them over Alec’s hands and pull them tight. It still hurt like a son of a bitch to do it. As much as he wanted to leave them a little loose, even if only for comfort’s sake, Magnus couldn't risk Madzie's life and he knew that Alec wouldn't want him to. He tightened the ties until he was sure they couldn't be any tighter without risking cutting off Alec’s blood supply. As soon as he turned in Victor's direction, a second set of ties was flung at him.

"His feet too."

Alec dropped to his knees. Magnus quickly did up his feet and then waited for the next instructions. Tears were streaking down Madzie's face, but she still had her eyes closed. Victor suddenly pulled a wicked-looking knife from his pocket. "No!" Magnus shouted. But as soon as he took a step forward, Victor pressed the gun harder against Madzie's temple.

Magnus once again froze and held his breath. Victor laughed an ugly laugh and then he was stepping away from Madzie, finally lowering the gun just a bit. He kept his eyes on Magnus as he moved over to where Jace and Simon were kneeling. With a quick swipe of the knife, he freed Simon's hands and feet. "Up," he snapped at Magnus’ son.

Simon stumbled to his feet. He looked between Magnus and Jace and then Madzie but remained where he was. He didn’t touch the gag that Victor had left on him.

"Take the kid and go," Victor said to Simon as he put the gun to Jace's head. Magnus knew without a doubt how hard it was for Simon to move in that moment. But he did it. He stepped away from Jace and hurried to his little sister. Magnus was afraid to breathe for fear that Victor would change his mind, or worse, pull the trigger and kill Jace right in front of them.

Simon worked quickly to pick up Madzie. He seemed to fumble with trying to open the strap that kept Madzie buckled in the seat she was kept in.

"Hurry up!" Victor barked.

Simon let out what sounded like a hoarse apology behind the gag and then he was gathering Madzie in his arms. He tripped as he stumbled past Magnus and Magnus instinctively reached out to catch both him and Madzie. It wasn't until he felt something hard and cold pressed against his hand behind Madzie's back that Magnus realized the move hadn't been accidental at all.

"Get out!" Victor yelled.

Simon's eyes connected briefly with Magnus’ as he righted himself and tucked Madzie against his chest. "I love you," Magnus managed to say to the both of them and then Magnus was opening the door. Victor had already tugged Jace to his feet and was using him as a human shield so the men standing outside the door had no choice but to keep their guns lowered as Simon rushed Madzie out of the room.

"Close it!" Victor ordered and then yelled at Magnus to lock it. The deadbolt sliding into place was deafening. But the cold metal pressed against the inside of his wrist was like a beacon of hope. As Simon had been leaving the room, Magnus managed to tuck what he now realized was a switchblade beneath his sleeve. He could only figure that the weapon had been stashed in the folds of Madzie’s clothes, though there was no way of knowing how Jace or Simon might have gotten it there. The details were unimportant. All Magnus cared about was that the small blade could mean the difference between life and death for all of them.

Victor shoved Jace to the ground. With his hands behind his back, Jace had no way of catching himself.

"So _this_ was your brilliant plan?" Alec asked Victor. Despite his feet being bound, Alec somehow managed to climb to his feet. Victor seemed unconcerned by the move. Magnus didn't blame him. After all, how much damage could Alec do with his hands tied behind his back and his feet bound?

"Eager to start the day's events?" Victor asked in amusement.

"You know me, Victor. When I know what I want, I take it. You wanted me to choose. Fine, I choose Jace."

Although Magnus didn't really know what Alec was up to, when Victor looked at him in surprise, he did his best to look heartbroken. The second he turned his attention back to Alec, Magnus slipped his hand into his sleeve and tried to work the switchblade open so the knife would be at the ready.

"What? Does that surprise you?" Alec asked. "Did you actually think I'd choose a fuck over my own blood? I would've thought you learned that lesson two years ago when I chose Jace over you."

Victor let out a rough laugh, but it was filled more with uncertainty than anything else.

"That's what this is about, isn't it?" Alec asked. "How many times did you lose out to me, Victor? Our one and only fuck was on my terms, I didn't even have to express an interest in the job you wanted before the Army handed it to me, and then with your first act of subordination, I was poised to throw you in lockup for the rest of your days. I was thinking that hatred drove your fixation with me, but if that were true, you would've tried putting _me_ down a long time ago. Your first chance to come after me and instead of lying in wait, you once again use my little brother to lure me out. Were you hoping I'd somehow make a different choice this time? That maybe I'd go for the guy I was fucking"—Alec looked pointedly at Magnus for a moment before returning his attention to Victor—"instead of the brother you lost out to the first time around?"

Magnus knew that everything Alec was saying about him was absolute crap, but he’d thrown Victor for a loop. It was clear in the way the man kept looking between Magnus and Jace. Magnus still did his best to play the devastated lover. In between, Magnus continued to fiddle with the switchblade to try and get it open, but with one hand, it was beyond tricky.

"No," Victor said slowly. "You're a good fuck, I'll give you that. So that explains his"—Victor jabbed the gun in Magnus’ direction—"lovey-dovey shit all over the internet, but that look in _your_ eyes when you were looking at him…" Victor shook his head and then suddenly his gun was trained on Magnus. "You can't fake that shit."

Magnus saw it happening in the same moment that Alec shouted. Victor's finger closed in on the trigger. The gun blast was deafening, but Magnus still managed to watch the events play out in what seemed like slow motion before him. As soon as Victor started to pull the trigger, Jace chose that moment to kick out with his legs, catching Victor in the knee. As the man's leg buckled, Alec's entire body slammed into him and the men hit the floor hard. Magnus expected to feel some kind of blow when the bullet hit him, but there was nothing.

Because the bullet never hit him.

It sailed over his shoulder and lodged into the wall behind him.

He watched in horror as Alec tried to use his body to hold Victor down, but when the gun went off again, Alec groaned and Jace shouted. It was the blood on Alec’s white shirt that finally got Magnus moving.

The fingers that had been shaking from the moment Magnus had stepped into that room were suddenly as calm as if he were taking an evening stroll. He pulled the switchblade from beneath his sleeve at the same time that he stepped forward. Victor was in the process of trying to aim his gun at Alec's chest. There wasn't even a moment's hesitation on Magnus’ part as he flipped the blade open and dropped to his knees by Victor’s head. Jace was doing his best to get to the pair, but Magnus knew he wouldn't make it in time.

Not that it would've mattered, because Magnus already knew what he had to and would do. The fucker was trying to take his Alec from him. He'd terrorized his little girl and he'd beaten Simon. He’d come close to stealing Jace’s life two years ago and ending Alec’s in the process. This was done.

With that thought in mind, Magnus grabbed the handle of the blade with both hands and plunged the knife down, not really aiming at any one spot in particular. Whatever piece of him Magnus got, it would be enough. He'd make sure of it.

Magnus’ aim ended up being better than he ever could have planned it. The blade sank deep into Victor’s throat. Blood spurted everywhere as Victor let out a muted howl that quickly turned into heavy, wet gurgles. Magnus didn't know if he was drowning in his own blood or if he was losing it too quickly for that to happen. He didn't care. He did nothing more than climb to his feet and kick the gun away from his hand. Magnus was already stepping over the man's dying body to get to Alec when the door to the room burst open. He ignored all the chaos that followed and focused on his man.

"Alexander, stay with me. Come on, stay with me, ok" he insisted as he fell to his knees and cradled Alec against his chest. The position was awkward because Alec’s hands were still tied behind his back. As the blood on his shirt continued to make it more red than white, panic began to take over. "Alexander, open your eyes," Magnus practically yelled when he dared to close them for a moment.

"No yelling, sweetheart," Alec murmured as his head lolled against Magnus’ chest. "Gun burst my eardrum, I think."

The fact that he was talking to Magnus had him crying in relief. Magnus managed a wet laugh as he said, "It kind of put a hole in you too."

"Alec! Alec!" Jace called. A moment later, he was there at their side. Someone had cut his hands and feet loose. Magnus was glad to see that he wasn't seriously injured.

"No yelling," Alec growled, sounding much more like himself.

"Fuck," Jace responded, his voice mixed with relief and fear. He quickly ripped Alec’s shirt as another man cut the zip ties. Magnus heard someone calling Raphael's name, but it wasn't until the man who Magnus learned was a surgeon appeared at Alec's side that Magnus took in a breath. "Looks like a flesh wound, right?" Jace asked Raphael.

Raphael examined the wound on Alec’s side for several long seconds and then finally nodded. "He'll need stitches but expect him to be his charming self in no time."

Magnus let out a cry of relief as he dropped his head to Alec’s. He was sure he heard Alec say something in protest to Raphael about his attitude, but Magnus didn't care what it was. He began to sob uncontrollably as the adrenaline rush consumed him.

"Hey, hey," Alec said gently as one bloodied hand came up to cradle the back of Magnus’ neck. "It's over, sweetheart. You saved all of us. You saved _me_ , Magnus, in more ways than one. It's finally over. "

Magnus shook his head and carefully pressed a kiss to Alec’s mouth. Magnus smiled when Alec eagerly kissed him back.

"Not over, Alexander" Magnus said softly.

"It's only just beginning."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

SIX MONTHS LATER

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Magnus shouted when Alec stepped from the shadows along the fence line. Alec found himself smiling despite the string of curses that continued to fall from his lips.

"I figured you were pulling a Steve Martin," Alec said.

"A what?" Magnus asked.

"You know, that part from the movie we watched the other night where the guy spent the whole reception keeping himself busy so he wouldn't have to watch his daughter leave with her new husband?"

Magnus crossed his arms, a sure sign Alec was in trouble.

Good. That was exactly why he'd followed his man outside. Alec heard that weddings made some people crazy, but this particular one was having a pretty harrowing effect on his guy. Alec couldn't really blame him, of course, because anyone who watched their oldest get married would likely be just as emotional. Hell, as Jace and Simon had said their vows to one another, Alec had found _himself_ tearing up. It had caused him to actually shirk his duties as best man when it had come time to hand Jace the ring he’d gotten Simon.

Madzie had done a much better job in her role to her big brother.

Magnus had managed to hold it together through most of the ceremony, but when Simon and Jace had kissed, he’d been a goner and as soon as Alec had the chance, he’d hurried to where Magnus had been sitting so he could draw him into his arms and remind him that Jace and Simon would only be a few houses down from them and that they would see them more often now that they were married than they had when they’d still been dating.

Magnus’ assured Alec they were happy tears, and he’d believed him, but he'd also known that it was hard for him to say goodbye to that part of his life… the one he’d shared with the other man who still held a piece of his heart.

While George hadn't been able to be there in person to watch his son get married, he'd been there in spirit. It had been Jace’s idea to have a huge picture of George just a handful of feet from where the two men said their vows. Alec had helped Magnus pick out the picture when he'd finally found the strength to go into the attic and pull out all of the pictures of George that he'd hidden away years earlier when he hadn't been ready to say goodbye. Alec loved getting to know both George and Magnus through all the stories Magnus shared of the man who'd never officially gotten to call Magnus his husband, but whose ring Magnus still wore around his neck. Alec hadn't pressed Magnus to take the ring off his finger. That had been Magnus’ decision. When Magnus told Alec that it was about time he put George’s ring away for good, Alec responded by putting the ring through one of the chains Magnus had around neck.

While Jace and Simon could've held their reception anywhere, they’d chosen to have it at the house so Madzie would feel more comfortable in her own environment. The little girl had been struggling to recover from what Victor had done, which Alec harbored a lot of guilt over and probably always would. This time around, Madzie's recovery wasn't anywhere near as quick as it had been before, but they were starting to see little bits and pieces of the old Madzie return. Not surprisingly, at the beginning, she was terrified to be away from her father for any length of time.

In the weeks following the attack, Magnus had spent every night sleeping in Madzie's bedroom with her while Alec had ended up sleeping on the floor. The only time Madzie had felt comfortable not having Magnus there had been when Simon and Jace would come over to relieve them for a night. Even then, Magnus hadn't been able to relax and they usually spent most of the evening lying awake on Magnus’ bed waiting for the moment when Madzie would need one or both of them.

Alec had worried that Madzie would associate him with the events of that evening, but if she had, she hadn't ever shown it. She wasn't afraid of him and hadn't seemed to make any kind of connection between him and Victor. Magnus had explained that the bad man was dead, but Madzie was still plagued with nightmares that he would return.

Help had come in a surprising form and from an unexpected source.

About two months after Victor's attack, Hodge Starkweather had shown up on Magnus’ doorstep. The poor man had been beside himself with nerves, and Alec hadn't really blamed him. They hadn't been in contact with Hodge and his family since the night Magnus had gone to Hodge looking for help in tracking Alec down. Hodge had heard about the events and their impact on Madzie from Raphael and he'd shown up on Magnus’ doorstep with an idea.

That idea's name had been Goldie.

While the lab mix had originally been a rescue dog, she'd undergone extensive training to be a service dog. Hodge and his husbands had founded the organization that rescued shelter dogs and trained them as service animals after Lorenzo had gained so much from his relationship with his own service dog.

When Hodge had shown up with Goldie, Magnus had struggled with accepting the gift of the dog, especially after learning that several members of the police department had chipped in their own money to pay for the rest of Goldie’s training. While Hodge or Magnus could have easily afforded the cost themselves, the department that had once turned its back on George had wanted to show their support for George’s family. Magnus had struggled with a whole host of emotions, but when it had come down to it, he’d wanted what was best for his little girl.

The second Madzie saw Goldie, it'd been a match made in heaven. Not only had the dog been gentle and sweet with Madzie, she’d made her feel safe. The dog had ultimately taken Magnus’ place as a security blanket of sorts for Madzie. Magnus and Alec had been able to take turns sleeping on the floor in Madzie's room for several weeks after Goldie’s arrival. It had just been in the past week that Madzie had been able to sleep through the night without one of them being in her room. She did better during the day, but only when she had either Goldie or one of them with her.

Things had changed on that front with the Starkweathers’ help too. The family was notoriously large and between Hodge's relatives and members of the men's families who made up Raphael's team, there was a passel of kids for Madzie to interact with. While the little girl hadn't been ready to go back to school, she’d been okay with children coming over to her house to play. Those children had just kept coming. All different ages, all different personalities. They’d played games with Madzie, watched movies, eaten junk food and basically done what they did best.

_Be kids._

It'd all helped to bring some normalcy back into Madzie's life. It'd become an eye-opener for Alec and Magnus as well. Neither of them were particularly good at accepting help, but they’d gotten it in spades. Not just with Madzie, either. Yes, it had started off that way with many of the Starkweathers and Raphael's guys offering to babysit so Magnus and Alec could take a break, but things had gradually started to shift.

A few days earlier, Maia Roberts, who was married to another Starkweather brother, a co-owner of Starkweather Security Group, had begun talking gardening shop with Magnus. They'd ended up elbows deep in dirt as they'd weeded some of Magnus’ flowerbeds that had been neglected over the winter. Several of Maia’s kids had played with Madzie in the backyard as Maia’s husband and Alec had watched while chatting over a beer. By the time the couple and their passel of children had left, they'd wrangled Magnus and Alec into coming over for dinner at their house just as soon as Madzie was comfortable with it. Once the little girl had heard about the menagerie the couple had, she’d been all in.

Alec himself had easily given up his life of bachelorhood. He hadn't even once been tempted to look in the rearview mirror upon the life he'd left behind. If anyone was having doubts, it was Magnus, and that was only because he seemed certain that Alec would buckle under the pressure of being responsible for a special-needs child.

Madzie's trauma issues meant that she needed a lot of hands-on care, something Alec hadn't really understood when he’d first started seeing Magnus. But as the weeks had gone on, he'd marveled over the fact that Magnus had cared so well for his daughter on his own. Nothing about the job was easy, but it was rewarding all the same. Madzie's trust was everything as far as Alec was concerned. He loved listening to her talk about dinosaurs and learning all the different expressions and sounds that were her way of communicating with them. He'd never considered himself father material, but the more he watched first Magnus and Madzie interact, and then later Madzie play with other kids, he'd started to wonder if maybe it was something he'd been too dismissive of.

Alec realized it even more one night a few weeks ago when Madzie had questioned the two of them through her computer voice as to what she should refer to Alec as. Alec told her that he was perfectly fine with her calling him Alec but she didn’t look too happy about it. When Magnus kneeled down next to her and asked her what was wrong or if she had another suggestion, Madzie put down her computer, stroked Alec's cheek and said in her own beautiful voice, ‘Pa-pa’. Magnus and Alec couldn’t control their emotions at that point. It may take weeks, months or even years but they were beyond ecstatic to come to the realization that Madzie will be OK.

"Are you talking about _Father of the Bride_?" Magnus asked.

"That's the one," Alec said. While Magnus wasn't a huge fan of scary movies, it turned out he loved romantic ones. It didn't matter how small the romance was, he was all in if it had even the tiniest romantic subplot in it. Since Alec hadn’t watched many movies growing up, most of them were all new to him. Not that it would've mattered, because Alec took more pleasure in watching Magnus’ reaction to the films than anything else.

"So you're saying my plan was to sabotage Simon's wedding?"

"What? No—" Alec began.

"Okay, so then, you're saying I freaked out about the cost of the wedding and that's why I insisted on having the reception here at the house. Because I’m a cheapskate."

"Um," Alec said lamely.

"Did you even watch the movie, Alexander?"

Since he was damned if he did and damned if he didn't, he did what he did best and held his tongue. But only for so long as it took him to close the distance between them. Alec didn't stop when he reached Magnus. He merely wrapped his arms around him and covered Magnus’ mouth with his. Like clockwork, Magnus sighed and then his arms wound around Alec’s neck. Alec could have sworn he heard Magnus mutter “no boundaries,” but then he was eagerly kissing Alec back.

"I have something for you," Alec murmured against his mouth.

"I noticed," Magnus said huskily.

Alec laughed and said, "Something else." He released Magnus long enough that Alec could take his hand and pull him toward the garden shed.

"Hang on," Magnus said as he dragged Alec to a stop. "Are you seriously thinking I'm going to put out while we have guests inside waiting for us?"

Alec turned around and stepped back into Magnus’ space. "Yeah, I do," Alec growled. Not surprisingly, Magnus shivered in anticipation. Between the gunshot wound to his side and everything that Madzie was going through, their sex life had fallen by the wayside and he had no issue with that. But he also knew that they needed to get back to a sense of normalcy just like Madzie did. Moving forward with the wedding had been a good first step, but he and Magnus had their own future to think about and Alec was eager to sow the seeds of that particular discussion.

Alec kissed him hard and waited until Magnus was once again pliant in his arms. This time when he led him toward the shed, Magnus followed without argument. As soon as they were inside the door, Magnus was all over him. If Alec hadn't been so turned on, he would've smiled.

"We need to hurry," Magnus said as he began ripping at the jacket Alec was wearing. "Contrary to what you might think, I don't want to miss Jace and Simon leaving for their honeymoon."

"Not possible," Alec said between kisses. "They’ve already started on that particular part of the celebration… in our bathroom."

Magnus put his hand against Alec’s chest so he could put some space between them. "Seriously? Please tell me they're not in our tub."

"I told Jace the tub was off-limits."

Magnus threw up his hands. "You told Jace to defile my son in my own bathroom?"

"I hate to break this to you, but _your_ son was in the process of defiling _my_ brother outside our bedroom door. It was just a matter of time before they ended up in our bed. You should be thanking me that it's only the bathroom that will get well used. At least that shit cleans easy."

"Oh God," Magnus muttered.

Alec pulled him back against his chest and said, "I suppose I could've told them the shed was free."

"Don't even go there," Magnus growled and then he was all over Alec again. "How long do you think we have?" he asked as he continued to tear at Alec’s shirt. "Do you think Madzie has noticed we’re gone?"

Alec shook his head. "Last I saw, she and one of her friends were in deep discussion about Spider-Man versus Spinosaurus. They were trying to come up with a new superhero called Spider-Saurus. I'm not sure if that entailed Spider-Man being bitten by a radioactive dinosaur or a dinosaur being bitten by a radioactive Spider-Man—"

"Shut up," Magnus barked and then he was shoving Alec back against the shed door. Alec would've laughed, but Magnus chose that moment to drop to his knees and rip Alec’s pants open. "Commando, thank God," he said. Alec’s dick was in his mouth before he could even say anything. He really had an ulterior motive in bringing Magnus to the shed, but it was hard to remember what it was as Magnus hoovered his cock.

"I want you to fuck me, Magnus" Alec managed to say between gasps.

Magnus released his dick and practically crawled up Alec’s body. "Tonight," he murmured as he began kissing Alec again. "After Madzie's asleep. I don't… I don't want to rush it."

Alec nodded because as ready as he was, he didn't want to be hurried either. With everything that had happened, there hadn't been much opportunity for them to explore switching roles. As excited as he was, he was also nervous. The garden shed held a lot of memories when it came to their first time together, so Alec was okay with their bedroom being the place for a new first memory for them.

He lost his train of thought as Magnus’ mouth wreaked havoc on his. Alec reached down and lifted him. Magnus automatically wrapped his legs around Alec’s waist. Thankfully, he hadn't loosened Alec’s pants enough that they were around his ankles, so he was able to walk him over to the worktable. Magnus began laughing as Alec ran into one thing after another. By the time he set Magnus on the worktable, his laughter had subsided and he was all over Alec.

Their fingers couldn’t move quickly enough as they finished undressing each other. Alec was rock hard by the time he got Magnus’ pants down enough to expose his opening. But instead of turning him around and bending him over the table, Alec pulled Magnus’ hips forward and braced his arm behind Magnus’ back. The table was low enough that it didn't make the position too awkward. Alec smiled when he saw lube appear in Magnus’ hand. Since he hadn't gotten it out of Alec’s wallet, it meant he must've gotten it out of his. The fact that the man was carrying around lube was proof that he was just as ready for this as Alec was.

Magnus gripped Alec’s dick only long enough to slather some lube on it and then his mouth was on Alec’s. "I need you, Alexander," he whispered. Their movements, which had been so frantic just a moment ago, slowed as they both lost themselves in each other.

Alec reached to clasp Magnus’ face so Magnus was forced to look at him. "I love you, Magnus. I love you so damn much."

"I love you too," he said softly and then he was pulling Alec in for a kiss. Alec then circled his fingers gently around Magnus’ entrance before slowly pushing two fingers in. Alec almost lost himself when he felt the suction around his fingers. After a while of agonizingly hot thrusts and three fingers Magnus whispered, “I’m ready Alexander”. Alec kept his mouth on Magnus’ as he removed his fingers and angled his hips to meet Magnus’. Alec thrust into him hard and deep. He cried out into Alec’s mouth and then Magnus’ arms were around Alec’s neck so he could cling to him. Their lovemaking was rough and frantic and they both came at nearly the same time. Magnus buried his face against Alec’s neck as Alec began filling him. He hadn't needed to put his hand on Magnus’ dick to get him off. The proof of that was all over both their abdomens.

It was a long time before either of them seemed willing to separate even just a little. When they did, Magnus caressed Alec’s face. "Are you sure this is what you want, Alexander? I know I've asked you that before and I'm so far past the point where I can give you up, but if I have to—"

"Look behind you, Magnus," Alec murmured.

"What?"

"Look behind you."

Magnus seemed both confused and a little irritated. "Okay, Alexander, but I'm trying to have a real conversation with you—" His words immediately dropped off when he spied the item Alec had left for him on the worktable. Fortunately, it hadn't gotten knocked over during their frantic coupling.

"What did you do?" Magnus asked. He didn't seem at all bothered by the fact that Alec was still deep inside of him. He reached behind him and grabbed the little bag with the red ribbon on it. "What did you do?" he asked again. Alec was suddenly more nervous than he'd been when he'd first followed Magnus out of the house.

"Open it," Alec urged.

Magnus’ fingers shook as he tore the little ribbon that was holding the bag closed. His eyes shifted just a bit as he tried to make out the contents of the bag. He finally reached a few fingers in. Alec held his breath as he pulled the little trowel out of the bag. There was absolutely nothing interesting about the gardening tool other than it was one that Alec knew Magnus didn't have yet. And Alec only knew that because he'd asked Maia.

"Oh, Alexander, it's lovely," Magnus said, though he was clearly disappointed. It was all Alec could do not to smile.

"Take it all the way out. See how it feels in your hand."

Magnus looked up at Alec and grinned, then looked pointedly between their bodies. Alec found himself laughing and dropped his head to kiss him. He chuckled and leaned back. The light was back in his eyes. He pulled the trowel all the way out and then caught his breath when he saw what was on the end of it.

"Oh my God," he whispered in disbelief as the little gold ring spun in circles as it dangled from the end of the trowel. "Oh my God," he repeated.

"This was supposed to happen on one knee," Alec murmured.

Tears filled Magnus’ eyes as he choked out, "It's perfect. Here is perfect."

"Magnus, you're mine and I'm yours. Nothing will ever change that. Just like nothing will change how much I love you and our family. Whether it gets bigger as we grow old together or not, I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't care what my title is, as long as I always get to be at your side. But if you would do me the honor of being my husband—"

"Yes, Alexander. Yes," Magnus said and then he was throwing himself into Alec’s arms. The move had their bodies separating from the waist down, but all that did was allow Magnus to wrap his legs around Alec again. He kissed Alec hard and Alec could feel Magnus’ tears dripping onto his face. "I'm sorry," Magnus said. "Everything you said was beautiful and perfect and so sweet, but you were taking too damn long."

Alec laughed and hugged him hard, lifting Magnus off the ground. Life with Magnus would never be boring, which was fine by him. He'd never done boring well anyway.

They held on to each other for a while and then he set Magnus on his feet so he could slide the ring onto his finger. It fit him perfectly.

"I don't want to take it off," he murmured as he admired the little band. Alec had gems that represented each of his children's birthstones placed on the ring.

"Why do you need to take it off?" Alec asked.

"It's Jace and Simon’s day. I don't want to steal their thunder."

"Jace and Simon already know. Madzie too."

"How?" Magnus asked.

"I asked Simon and Madzie for their permission."

"You did?" Magnus’ sweet smile lit up the entire shed. "What did they say?"

"Madzie was cool with it," Alec said as he began helping Magnus fix his clothes. When they were both dressed, Alec took his hand. "Simon was a harder sell."

"No he wasn't," Magnus said as he gave Alec a light slap on his arm.

"Why do you think I had to agree to let them use our bathroom for their exploits?" Alec asked with a wink.

Magnus chuckled and leaned into Alec as they walked. Alec dropped his hand so he could put his arm around Magnus’ entire body instead.

"Okay, at least you didn't agree to the tub," Magnus said softly.

"Nuh-uh, no tub. That's holy ground."

"Damn straight," Magnus murmured. He stopped suddenly and caught Alec’s hand with his. "So wait, if Simon and Jace are busy getting it on in our beautiful bathroom, why are we in such a rush to get back to the house? They won't be leaving for a while, right?"

"With the way they were looking at each other, we may end up moving out before they do."

"Eww, that's my son, remember."

" _Our_ son," Alec reminded him. "And our son-in-law… or I guess, my step son-in-law?"

"Focus," Magnus said as he gave Alec another slap on the arm. "So if they're not leaving, what are we doing _out here_? Don’t we have some celebrating of our own to do?" He looked pointedly back in the direction of the shed.

Alec nodded his head and said, "I knew I was marrying you for more than just your looks." With that, Alec bent down and pushed his shoulder into Magnus’ chest. Magnus let out a little scream as Alec lifted him so he was dangling over Alec’s shoulder. Alec gave him a slap on his backside. "Hush, or everyone will hear."

Just like that, the protest Magnus had been in the middle of spouting died off. But Alec knew he was in for a handful of gorgeous man when he got Magnus back in his beloved garden shed.

_Alec was counting on it._

_**********************************************_

“Magnus?” Alec called softly as he rapped his knuckles on the bathroom door. The door gave way under the slight pressure because Magnus hadn’t bothered to close it completely. Alec couldn’t help but think he’d gotten into the habit of leaving the door cracked every time he went into the bathroom just so Alec wouldn’t have to force it open if he began to worry about him.

Like he was now.

He could hear water running from the other side of the door, but he could tell it wasn’t the bathtub faucet. That left the sink.

“Magnus?” Alec repeated as he pushed the door open.

“I’m okay,” Magnus said softly.

Too softly.

He was standing with his hands braced on the countertop on each side of the sink. His toothbrush was clenched in his right hand.

Despite his declaration that he was okay, Alec knew he was anything but. He walked into the bathroom and went to stand behind Magnus. Alec could feel the tension radiating off of him in waves as he stood there. Alec studied him in the mirror but couldn’t see his eyes because they were downcast.

That was a sign in itself. It had been a long time since Magnus had tried to hide himself from Alec.

Instead of calling him out on it, Alec wrapped his arms around him from behind. He found himself exhaling softly as Magnus immediately leaned back against him. Alec dropped his lips to the back of Magnus’ neck and pressed a soft kiss against his skin. “Talk to me, baby.”

Magnus shook his head.

“Simon will be okay, Magnus. I promise. Jace would never hurt him—”

“No, I know. It’s not that,” Magnus responded quickly.

He shook his head again and then grabbed the toothpaste and put a heap of it on the toothbrush, then muttered, “I’m ridiculous” before furiously brushing his teeth. As he scrubbed away, Alec just held him because he knew that was what Magnus needed. Alec continued to press soft kisses to the nape of his neck the whole time. He brushed for a good three minutes before rinsing. Only then did his eyes meet Alec’s in the reflection.

“Talk to me, Magnus” Alec repeated gently.

He opened his mouth to respond, then shook his head and dropped his gaze again. When he went to grab the toothpaste so he could brush his teeth all over again, Alec grabbed his elbow and turned him around. He covered Magnus’ mouth with his and kissed him deeply. Alec waited until Magnus’ body relaxed against him before pulling back and saying, “Perfect.”

Magnus’ eyes held his for a moment, then he let out a rough sigh and dropped the toothbrush. His arms went around Alec’s neck as he pressed his head to Alec’s neck. “I’m scared,” he admitted.

Alec’s own nerves kicked up. “Magnus, if you’re not ready to marry me—”

“What?” Magnus cut in. “No, no, that’s not… God, Alec, I can’t wait to marry you,” he declared as he stroked his fingers along Alec’s cheek.

Alec couldn’t deny that his entire body went weak with relief.

“Then what are you scared of?” Alec asked.

Magnus dropped his eyes again and murmured, “I don’t want to hurt you.” He hesitated before adding, “I’ve never… and you’ve never… and what if I do something wrong…” Magnus shook his head again.

Alec sighed when he realized what Magnus was talking about. He almost laughed out loud from the sheer relief of knowing Magnus wasn’t freaking out about their relationship but rather their decision to change things up in the bedroom tonight.

Alec tipped his chin up and kissed him softly. “God, Magnus, I love you so much,” Alec admitted.

“I love you too, Alexander,” Magnus responded, then his arms went around Alec’s back and he pressed his head against Alec’s neck again.

Alec held him as he said, “As for hurting me, you won’t, sweetheart. You couldn’t. This is something I want to share with you, but only when you’re ready.”

“You’re not nervous?” Magnus asked after a good minute.

“I’m excited-nervous, not scared-nervous. Just like every other time we’ve been together.”

Magnus pulled back so he could look at Alec. “What? You get nervous when we…?”

“Being with you is like a dream for me, Magnus. A dream that I’m fucking terrified of waking up from,” Alec admitted.

Magnus held his gaze for the longest time, then his hand went to the back of Alec’s neck. The mere feel of Magnus’ fingers on his sensitive skin calmed him like nothing else could. Magnus pulled him down and graced him with the sweetest kiss he’d ever known. He held Alec so that their mouths were just millimetres apart then Magnus whispered, “Open your eyes, my love.”

A violent tremor shook Alec’s entire body at his words. He gripped Magnus in a tight embrace and pressed his face against the spot where Magnus’ neck met his shoulder.

Magnus was his.

Magnus was really his.

The blanket of warmth that settled over him was both comforting and frightening. But instead of squeezing his eyes closed even tighter, Alec did exactly what Magnus had told him to do.

He opened them.

And saw two people who were one.

He stared at the mirror for a long time before tucking his face back into the crook of Magnus’ neck. “Make love to me, Magnus,” Alec whispered.

Magnus didn’t say anything, but his grip on Alec tightened even more. Then he was pulling back. His hand sought out Alec’s and then Magnus was leading him into their bedroom.

Alec allowed himself to accept that he was a bit nervous about what would happen on the big bed, but it had little to do with any anxiety surrounding the physical pain he might momentarily experience. No, he was more scared of what it would finally feel like to say goodbye to this last piece of himself… this piece where he gave up control and let someone else take care of him fully and completely.

He wanted that.

He wanted it so fucking bad.

_But what if I couldn’t do it? What if that one little empty part of my soul could never be filled? Would I still feel complete?_

“Alexander,” Magnus whispered as his hands clasped the sides of Alec’s face. “Sweetheart, stay with me.”

Alec let out a shudder and nodded, but he couldn’t make any words come out of his mouth. Thankfully, Magnus didn’t press him to explain what he was feeling. He didn’t really know himself.

Magnus’ mouth covered his. With every glide of Magnus’ tongue over his, that voice in Alec’s head quieted.

It could have been minutes or hours by the time they were both completely undressed. Alec was hard as a rock and needed relief, but at the same time he could have stood there forever and died a happy man in Magnus’ embrace.

As Magnus eased him onto the bed and then covered his body with his, their dicks brushed against one another.

“Fuck,” Alec muttered as a pulse of electricity surged through him.

Magnus grunted something in response, then he was grinding his hips against Alec’s. Alec grabbed his ass to give him the leverage he needed to slide their cocks together just so. Their pre-cum mixed as they fucked without actually fucking.

“Get me ready,” Alec demanded as he dug his fingers into Magnus’ tight ass.

He felt Magnus smile against his mouth just seconds before he lifted it. “You’re going to be a power bottom, aren’t you?”

Instead of answering him, Alec maneuvered their lower bodies so his dick was notched inside the crease of Magnus’ ass. Magnus gasped in response.

“Any questions?” Alec asked.

Magnus shook his head with a smile on his face, then slammed his mouth down on Alec’s. A moment later, Magnus was scrambling off him to grab the lube from the nightstand drawer. The sight of his ass as he kneeled on the bed was too much to take, so Alec sat up and grabbed Magnus’ hips, then went to town on his backside.

“Fuck, Alexander,” Magnus cried out.

Alec heard things hitting the floor as Magnus searched desperately for the lube. He took advantage of the situation and ate at his ass at the same time that he stroked his dick. Magnus cursed him as well as the missing lube.

The second he found the little bottle, he turned and launched himself at Alec. “You’re going to pay for that,” he growled, then Magnus was kissing him hard.

“It’ll be worth every penny,” Alec said between kisses.

Magnus muttered something unintelligible right before he got his revenge by sliding down Alec’s body and taking his cock to the back of his throat in one easy move.

“Jesus—” Alec snarled as Magnus sucked him down. Alec grabbed his hair so he could start thrusting into his mouth, but Magnus evaded his hold and pushed Alec’s legs up, completely exposing the most vulnerable part of his body. It had been a while since Magnus had rimmed him the one time, but Alec still remembered the perfection of it and that had Alec holding his breath in anticipation.

The memory didn’t do the act justice.

Alec bit down on his lower lip to keep from screaming in pleasure as Magnus’ mouth began to make love to his entrance. As he kissed, nibbled, sucked and then finally pushed his tongue into him, Alec could do nothing more than fist the shimmering golden bedsheets and silently beg for more.

Magnus gave it to him.

All of it.

By the time Magnus crawled back up his body, Alec was so tight with need, he was shaking.

“Alexander,” Magnus said gently as he ran his fingers over Alec’s temple. Magnus’ eyes were heavy with emotion as he took Alec in. “So beautiful,” he murmured, then Magnus kissed him gently.

“I need you, Magnus” Alec croaked. He felt raw and exposed and it scared the shit out of him. But he had no desire to escape it. He was so close. He knew it in his bones. That pit inside of him, the one that had opened up the first time his father had looked at him with disdain, was so close to finally scarring over for good.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” Magnus said softly, then his hand was moving down Alec’s body. Magnus avoided touching Alec’s cock, which was probably a good thing because Alec surely would have come on the spot. Instead, Magnus’ finger began probing Alec’s hole.

Magnus’ lubed finger.

Alec wasn’t even sure when he’d managed to open the bottle of lube, but as Magnus began to push his finger into him, Alec didn’t care.

No lie, it hurt a little.

But the pain gave way to a strange burning sensation that probably should have hurt but didn’t.

“Okay?” Magnus asked once his finger was as deep inside of Alec as it could go.

Alec nodded. “More,” Alec croaked. “Please, Magnus.”

Magnus shifted his body so he was lying on his side next to Alec. The position meant he could watch what he was doing as he probed Alec. When he began to push a second finger inside of him, Alec closed his eyes.

“Open your eyes, Alexander,” Magnus demanded as he bent his head over Alec’s.

Alec didn’t hesitate to do as he said.

“Keep them on me, baby,” Magnus instructed. “Not a dream, Alexander.”

Alec let out a rough breath. He couldn’t resist reaching up to pull Magnus down for a kiss. Magnus was still stretching him with his fingers, but it wasn’t enough.

“Magnus,” Alec whispered.

Magnus eyes met his for the briefest of moments, then he was sliding his body over Alec’s. It was the most natural thing for Alec to separate and lift his legs to make room for Magnus. His body felt empty when Magnus pulled his fingers free, but then Magnus’ cock was pressing against him. He paused only long enough to swipe some lube over his length, then Magnus was guiding his cock into Alec.

It hurt like a motherfucker.

For about five seconds.

Then… it was heaven.

_Absolute-fucking-perfect heaven._

“Fuck,” Alec snarled as Magnus’ thickness stretched him wide. The burning feeling was magnified by a thousand, but so was the pleasurable sensation that followed.

Magnus was going too fast and too slow at the same time. It was too much and not enough.

“Magnus,” Alec cried as his eyes clung to Magnus’.

“Almost there,” Magnus murmured as he kissed Alec softly and pulled out just a little, then slid farther into him. Alec gasped at the sensation that rocketed through him. By the time Magnus was balls deep inside of him, Alec was shaking violently.

“Not… gonna… last…” Alec managed to choke out.

Magnus settled all of his weight onto him and cupped the back of Alec’s neck so he could press their foreheads together. “I love you so much, Alexander,” he growled. Magnus was shaking as hard as Alec and his body was slick with sweat.

“I love you,” Alec whispered, then he was done talking because Magnus began to move.

Alec gripped Magnus’ upper arms so he’d have something to hang on to. Despite his best efforts, Alec couldn’t keep his eyes open.

It just felt too damn good.

It should have been that same dream world that he always felt like he was in when he was with Magnus like this, but it wasn’t.

With every lunge into his body, Alec knew it was all real.

He felt Magnus everywhere.

His mind, his heart, his body, his soul.

And that void. That damnable void inside of him… every soft word Magnus spoke in his ear as he loved him, filled that empty space and then it was just gone.

Leaving Magnus behind.

Sweet, beautiful, love of his life Magnus… who wanted him.

Just him.

He clung to Magnus as Magnus thrust into him over and over and over, driving them both higher and higher. By the time they reached that precipice, they were wrapped together so tight that Alec no longer knew where he ended and Magnus began. And when they finally took that final step over the edge, they did it like they would do everything else in the days, years, and lifetime to come…

_Together._

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope this was OK?


End file.
